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How to Tell Your Friends They Dress Badly

How to Tell Your Friends They Dress Badly

The way we dress says a lot about who we are as people. What we are wearing when we first meet someone is where they draw a lot of conclusions about who we are. Sometimes we have friends who don’t dress up to society’s standards and sometimes that’s okay. But other times it could affect their daily lives in finding romance, a job, or just making new friends. This could be either a fun or a really sensitive topic when confronting the person. But sometimes you just need to let your friends know that they dress badly.

1. Let Them Know You Care

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    This can be a delicate situation to handle. It’s always better to start out with how much you care and appreciate them. Make sure they know that you only want what’s best for them. Don’t make them feel like this is an intervention, even though it basically is.

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    2. Tell Them Why You Question What They Wear

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      It’s always good to explain that you question what they wear because it makes them seem a certain way. The crop tops your best friend wears may be a little too small for her, making her look a little too scandalous. Maybe the slouchy pants and stained t-shirt makes them look a little sloppy.

      3. How Their Appearance Affects Their Lives

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        Give them examples of how dressing sloppy could be the reason why they can’t find a good job or how their raunchy outfit is the reason why men don’t take them seriously. Bring up past experiences in their life and let them know that the reason why something happened is because they dress badly.

        4. Tell Them What Is Wrong With Their Clothes

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          Explain to them how their outfit is wrong. Let them know that the short skirt and crop top are too small for their body. Tell them that the plaid pajama pants with puppies on it aren’t meant to be worn out in public and the stained shirt is on backwards. At first, they might be offended but they’ll get over it.

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          5. Ask Them Why They Dress That Way

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            It’s always good to hear them out on their reasons why they dress the way they do. It could be because they’re really self conscious or maybe their grandma bought them that shirt. Whatever their reason is, help them get over it or through it. Be a good friend. After finding out why they won’t change, give them a reason to change.

            6. Tell Them How They Could Change

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              Explain to them that they could trade in their stained shirt in for a really nice floral top or the short skirt could be switched out for a flirty maxi-dress. Explain the difference and why one choice is better than the other. Help them find their actual style in a modest and subtle way.

              7. Give Them Inspiration

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                Make them watch reruns of TLC’s What Not To Wear. Find Before & After pictures of others in their situation. Read inspiring stories of how an outfit changed someone’s life forever. Inspiration helps people want to change, make them a Pinterest board if you have to. (And if they don’t know what Pinterest is, their may not be help for them at that point.)

                8. Ask Them If They Want To Change

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                  Make sure this is what they want to do because they want to do it, not because they feel like they’re being forced. When they do decide to change, make sure you’re there for them and willing to help. Don’t be the friend that nags them to change but doesn’t help. That’s unsupportive and what kind of person does that make you look like?

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                  Last Updated on August 4, 2020

                  The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

                  The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

                  No!

                  It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

                  But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

                  What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

                  But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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                  1. Value Your Time

                  Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

                  2. Know Your Priorities

                  Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

                  For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

                  3. Practice Saying No

                  Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

                  4. Don’t Apologize

                  A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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                  5. Stop Being Nice

                  Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

                  Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

                  6. Say No to Your Boss

                  Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

                  But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

                  7. Pre-Empting

                  It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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                  “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

                  8. Get Back to You

                  Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

                  “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

                  At least you gave it some consideration.

                  9. Maybe Later

                  If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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                  “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

                  Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

                  10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

                  This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

                  Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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                  Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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