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How to Tell Your Friends They Dress Badly

How to Tell Your Friends They Dress Badly

The way we dress says a lot about who we are as people. What we are wearing when we first meet someone is where they draw a lot of conclusions about who we are. Sometimes we have friends who don’t dress up to society’s standards and sometimes that’s okay. But other times it could affect their daily lives in finding romance, a job, or just making new friends. This could be either a fun or a really sensitive topic when confronting the person. But sometimes you just need to let your friends know that they dress badly.

1. Let Them Know You Care

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    This can be a delicate situation to handle. It’s always better to start out with how much you care and appreciate them. Make sure they know that you only want what’s best for them. Don’t make them feel like this is an intervention, even though it basically is.

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    2. Tell Them Why You Question What They Wear

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      It’s always good to explain that you question what they wear because it makes them seem a certain way. The crop tops your best friend wears may be a little too small for her, making her look a little too scandalous. Maybe the slouchy pants and stained t-shirt makes them look a little sloppy.

      3. How Their Appearance Affects Their Lives

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        Give them examples of how dressing sloppy could be the reason why they can’t find a good job or how their raunchy outfit is the reason why men don’t take them seriously. Bring up past experiences in their life and let them know that the reason why something happened is because they dress badly.

        4. Tell Them What Is Wrong With Their Clothes

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          Explain to them how their outfit is wrong. Let them know that the short skirt and crop top are too small for their body. Tell them that the plaid pajama pants with puppies on it aren’t meant to be worn out in public and the stained shirt is on backwards. At first, they might be offended but they’ll get over it.

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          5. Ask Them Why They Dress That Way

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            It’s always good to hear them out on their reasons why they dress the way they do. It could be because they’re really self conscious or maybe their grandma bought them that shirt. Whatever their reason is, help them get over it or through it. Be a good friend. After finding out why they won’t change, give them a reason to change.

            6. Tell Them How They Could Change

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              Explain to them that they could trade in their stained shirt in for a really nice floral top or the short skirt could be switched out for a flirty maxi-dress. Explain the difference and why one choice is better than the other. Help them find their actual style in a modest and subtle way.

              7. Give Them Inspiration

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                Make them watch reruns of TLC’s What Not To Wear. Find Before & After pictures of others in their situation. Read inspiring stories of how an outfit changed someone’s life forever. Inspiration helps people want to change, make them a Pinterest board if you have to. (And if they don’t know what Pinterest is, their may not be help for them at that point.)

                8. Ask Them If They Want To Change

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                  Make sure this is what they want to do because they want to do it, not because they feel like they’re being forced. When they do decide to change, make sure you’re there for them and willing to help. Don’t be the friend that nags them to change but doesn’t help. That’s unsupportive and what kind of person does that make you look like?

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                  Last Updated on December 3, 2019

                  10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

                  10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

                  There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

                  Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

                  1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

                  Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

                  There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

                  Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

                  2. Pace Yourself

                  Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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                  Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

                  Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

                  3. You Can’t Please Everyone

                  “I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

                  You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

                  Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

                  4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

                  Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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                  We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

                  Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

                  5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

                  “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

                  No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

                  We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

                  6. It’s Not All About You

                  You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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                  It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

                  7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

                  No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

                  We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

                  Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

                  8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

                  That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

                  Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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                  Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

                  9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

                  Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

                  The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

                  10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

                  We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

                  When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

                  Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

                  This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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                  Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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