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How to Stop the Cycle of Anger, Sadness, and Guilt During Hardships

How to Stop the Cycle of Anger, Sadness, and Guilt During Hardships

Don’t you get a little tired of having to go through the same negative emotional process every time a hardship hits?

Sometimes it’s understandable, like having someone close to you die and then going through the mourning process. During those times, I say it’s best to let the process do what it does and try not to shut out any emotions and just allow yourself to feel and heal. There are those other times of hardship that come around far more often; the ones that keep coming back, restarting the cycle of anger sadness, and guilt all over again.

They don’t have to go in that order obviously, but it’s usually the same process. Something happens to youcould be abruptly or over timeand then you become sucked into this hole of darkness and suffering. And by that, of course I’m talking about the negative emotions leading your mind.

Down in a Hole

Since you’re basically stuck inside this spinning course of emotions, it’s best to figure out a way to slow it down, before you just try to bring it to a sudden stop. In other words, when you’re feeling down and out, a little angry, or bad about something that happened, slow your mind down and let the emotion soak in for a bit before you do anything.

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  • Slow your Mind

Why do anger, guilt, and sadness go together so well? It’s definitely not for the pure joy of torturing you when rough times hit. It’s because they are all negative feelings. When things don’t go well, bad feelings take over. They aren’t any fun. No one really wants them around, but what can you do?

You can understand that it’s the perception you have of the reality which stands before you that determines just how consumed you are liable to become in the negative emotions. Your perception, or the way you view the world around you, is unique. Everything you’ve gone through and experienced has shaped how you look at the world up to this point.

If you’re stuck in a continuous cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, the perception you have of reality isn’t going to be a very good one. Not when you feel like it’s just you against the world. Not when your world is crumbling down around you and you don’t know how to stop it.

But Not Out

You can stop it! In fact, you can actually do more that that: you can change the way you view the world in a way that not only lets you stop feeling so low, but helps you change the way you look at the world and situation in general. In a way where you are in control, not the negative emotions. Through your beliefs, outlook, experience, knowledge, and desires, you have the ability to alter your perception of reality to one that turns sadness, guilt, and anger into compassion, courage, and fulfillment. To turn negative emotions into a positive reaction.

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Here are a couple of ways to change your perception:

  • Dive deep 

Go deep within the ocean of your inner existence, your memories, your values, your beliefs, your hopes, your dreams, your higher consciousness and discover who you truly are. It’s amazing how much perspective and clarity you can gain in the worst of times.

  • Grow up

Let go of all thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that bring you negative emotions. Start to explore the inner you. Stop thinking for a minute and just be with yourself. Be present in the moment, listen to your inner voice and learn. Use the knowledge that’s out there in the land of Lifehack to help you grow.

  • Believe

If you have taken any decent amount of time and effort to look within yourself and explore the depths at which you can go, you may already believe. Believe in what? Believing in something’s better than believing in nothing. My grandma always said, a fella ought to believe in something, and it’s true. Having belief in something greater than yourself can help you understand, progress, and move past being caught up in any cycle of negativeness.

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Live Openly and Authentically

Live for something that gives you purpose and a greater meaning. Having something to believe in, something that brings you purpose, helps you to consciously move forward. It gives you something to strive for and thus something to look forward to, which will aid in your positivity, happiness, and overall fulfillment. Being authentic means to be of a higher morality. Do good and put good into the world. Wear your heart on your sleeve so you have nothing to hide. Let yourself out of your cocoon of false-fed beliefs and fly with your arms wide open into the land of unlimited possibilities.

Stopping the cycle of anger, sadness, and guilt when hit with hardships is not the easiest of tasks, but it’s a lot easier if you start truly living and become fully alive. Growing, learning, and just being on a purposeful journey can help stop a lot of the hardships from looking like “hardships”.

If you change the way you see it, you can change the way it is.

The next time you get mad, remember that you have a choice. You can choose to be mad or you can choose to let go.

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The next time you feel sad, remember that it’s okay to be sad, but you have a choice. You can be sad, or you can find courage and strength to move forward.

The next time you feel guilt, remember that you can choose to sulk, or you can do something to redeem yourself and feel fulfillment. You can change anything.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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