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How to Stop the Cycle of Anger, Sadness, and Guilt During Hardships

How to Stop the Cycle of Anger, Sadness, and Guilt During Hardships

Don’t you get a little tired of having to go through the same negative emotional process every time a hardship hits?

Sometimes it’s understandable, like having someone close to you die and then going through the mourning process. During those times, I say it’s best to let the process do what it does and try not to shut out any emotions and just allow yourself to feel and heal. There are those other times of hardship that come around far more often; the ones that keep coming back, restarting the cycle of anger sadness, and guilt all over again.

They don’t have to go in that order obviously, but it’s usually the same process. Something happens to youcould be abruptly or over timeand then you become sucked into this hole of darkness and suffering. And by that, of course I’m talking about the negative emotions leading your mind.

Down in a Hole

Since you’re basically stuck inside this spinning course of emotions, it’s best to figure out a way to slow it down, before you just try to bring it to a sudden stop. In other words, when you’re feeling down and out, a little angry, or bad about something that happened, slow your mind down and let the emotion soak in for a bit before you do anything.

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  • Slow your Mind

Why do anger, guilt, and sadness go together so well? It’s definitely not for the pure joy of torturing you when rough times hit. It’s because they are all negative feelings. When things don’t go well, bad feelings take over. They aren’t any fun. No one really wants them around, but what can you do?

You can understand that it’s the perception you have of the reality which stands before you that determines just how consumed you are liable to become in the negative emotions. Your perception, or the way you view the world around you, is unique. Everything you’ve gone through and experienced has shaped how you look at the world up to this point.

If you’re stuck in a continuous cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, the perception you have of reality isn’t going to be a very good one. Not when you feel like it’s just you against the world. Not when your world is crumbling down around you and you don’t know how to stop it.

But Not Out

You can stop it! In fact, you can actually do more that that: you can change the way you view the world in a way that not only lets you stop feeling so low, but helps you change the way you look at the world and situation in general. In a way where you are in control, not the negative emotions. Through your beliefs, outlook, experience, knowledge, and desires, you have the ability to alter your perception of reality to one that turns sadness, guilt, and anger into compassion, courage, and fulfillment. To turn negative emotions into a positive reaction.

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Here are a couple of ways to change your perception:

  • Dive deep 

Go deep within the ocean of your inner existence, your memories, your values, your beliefs, your hopes, your dreams, your higher consciousness and discover who you truly are. It’s amazing how much perspective and clarity you can gain in the worst of times.

  • Grow up

Let go of all thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that bring you negative emotions. Start to explore the inner you. Stop thinking for a minute and just be with yourself. Be present in the moment, listen to your inner voice and learn. Use the knowledge that’s out there in the land of Lifehack to help you grow.

  • Believe

If you have taken any decent amount of time and effort to look within yourself and explore the depths at which you can go, you may already believe. Believe in what? Believing in something’s better than believing in nothing. My grandma always said, a fella ought to believe in something, and it’s true. Having belief in something greater than yourself can help you understand, progress, and move past being caught up in any cycle of negativeness.

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Live Openly and Authentically

Live for something that gives you purpose and a greater meaning. Having something to believe in, something that brings you purpose, helps you to consciously move forward. It gives you something to strive for and thus something to look forward to, which will aid in your positivity, happiness, and overall fulfillment. Being authentic means to be of a higher morality. Do good and put good into the world. Wear your heart on your sleeve so you have nothing to hide. Let yourself out of your cocoon of false-fed beliefs and fly with your arms wide open into the land of unlimited possibilities.

Stopping the cycle of anger, sadness, and guilt when hit with hardships is not the easiest of tasks, but it’s a lot easier if you start truly living and become fully alive. Growing, learning, and just being on a purposeful journey can help stop a lot of the hardships from looking like “hardships”.

If you change the way you see it, you can change the way it is.

The next time you get mad, remember that you have a choice. You can choose to be mad or you can choose to let go.

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The next time you feel sad, remember that it’s okay to be sad, but you have a choice. You can be sad, or you can find courage and strength to move forward.

The next time you feel guilt, remember that you can choose to sulk, or you can do something to redeem yourself and feel fulfillment. You can change anything.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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