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How to Stop the Cycle of Anger, Sadness, and Guilt During Hardships

How to Stop the Cycle of Anger, Sadness, and Guilt During Hardships

Don’t you get a little tired of having to go through the same negative emotional process every time a hardship hits?

Sometimes it’s understandable, like having someone close to you die and then going through the mourning process. During those times, I say it’s best to let the process do what it does and try not to shut out any emotions and just allow yourself to feel and heal. There are those other times of hardship that come around far more often; the ones that keep coming back, restarting the cycle of anger sadness, and guilt all over again.

They don’t have to go in that order obviously, but it’s usually the same process. Something happens to youcould be abruptly or over timeand then you become sucked into this hole of darkness and suffering. And by that, of course I’m talking about the negative emotions leading your mind.

Down in a Hole

Since you’re basically stuck inside this spinning course of emotions, it’s best to figure out a way to slow it down, before you just try to bring it to a sudden stop. In other words, when you’re feeling down and out, a little angry, or bad about something that happened, slow your mind down and let the emotion soak in for a bit before you do anything.

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  • Slow your Mind

Why do anger, guilt, and sadness go together so well? It’s definitely not for the pure joy of torturing you when rough times hit. It’s because they are all negative feelings. When things don’t go well, bad feelings take over. They aren’t any fun. No one really wants them around, but what can you do?

You can understand that it’s the perception you have of the reality which stands before you that determines just how consumed you are liable to become in the negative emotions. Your perception, or the way you view the world around you, is unique. Everything you’ve gone through and experienced has shaped how you look at the world up to this point.

If you’re stuck in a continuous cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, the perception you have of reality isn’t going to be a very good one. Not when you feel like it’s just you against the world. Not when your world is crumbling down around you and you don’t know how to stop it.

But Not Out

You can stop it! In fact, you can actually do more that that: you can change the way you view the world in a way that not only lets you stop feeling so low, but helps you change the way you look at the world and situation in general. In a way where you are in control, not the negative emotions. Through your beliefs, outlook, experience, knowledge, and desires, you have the ability to alter your perception of reality to one that turns sadness, guilt, and anger into compassion, courage, and fulfillment. To turn negative emotions into a positive reaction.

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Here are a couple of ways to change your perception:

  • Dive deep 

Go deep within the ocean of your inner existence, your memories, your values, your beliefs, your hopes, your dreams, your higher consciousness and discover who you truly are. It’s amazing how much perspective and clarity you can gain in the worst of times.

  • Grow up

Let go of all thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that bring you negative emotions. Start to explore the inner you. Stop thinking for a minute and just be with yourself. Be present in the moment, listen to your inner voice and learn. Use the knowledge that’s out there in the land of Lifehack to help you grow.

  • Believe

If you have taken any decent amount of time and effort to look within yourself and explore the depths at which you can go, you may already believe. Believe in what? Believing in something’s better than believing in nothing. My grandma always said, a fella ought to believe in something, and it’s true. Having belief in something greater than yourself can help you understand, progress, and move past being caught up in any cycle of negativeness.

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Live Openly and Authentically

Live for something that gives you purpose and a greater meaning. Having something to believe in, something that brings you purpose, helps you to consciously move forward. It gives you something to strive for and thus something to look forward to, which will aid in your positivity, happiness, and overall fulfillment. Being authentic means to be of a higher morality. Do good and put good into the world. Wear your heart on your sleeve so you have nothing to hide. Let yourself out of your cocoon of false-fed beliefs and fly with your arms wide open into the land of unlimited possibilities.

Stopping the cycle of anger, sadness, and guilt when hit with hardships is not the easiest of tasks, but it’s a lot easier if you start truly living and become fully alive. Growing, learning, and just being on a purposeful journey can help stop a lot of the hardships from looking like “hardships”.

If you change the way you see it, you can change the way it is.

The next time you get mad, remember that you have a choice. You can choose to be mad or you can choose to let go.

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The next time you feel sad, remember that it’s okay to be sad, but you have a choice. You can be sad, or you can find courage and strength to move forward.

The next time you feel guilt, remember that you can choose to sulk, or you can do something to redeem yourself and feel fulfillment. You can change anything.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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