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How To Be Social Whenever You Want

How To Be Social Whenever You Want

If you happen to freeze in social situations, and you can’t get yourself to talk to people, then you know how many opportunities for good friends and good fun you’ve missed out on. Maybe it’s time to learn how to be social.

What if you could talk to people whenever you want, keep the conversation going, stay in touch, meet again, make friends, and build a great friend circle? How much more and fun and interesting would your life be?

Having a great social life boils down to a set of simple changes in mindset and behavior, this article will get you started at being able to talk to people whenever you want to. But first…

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Let’s Get Real About Social Rejection

The problem here is that you’re labeling normal behavior as rejection, which means you’re just not reading the signs correctly. Once you learn how to read the signs, you’ll realize how rare it is to be really rejected by anyone; it almost never happens.

The thing is, even if you’re be a very powerful and in-demand person, there always going to be people who don’t feel in the mood to talk, don’t have time to hang out, or just don’t have room for new friends. If you interpret all that as “something wrong with you,” then you’re being too hard on yourself.

If you only focus on learning how to socialize and how to make friends, then the fear of social rejection will become a vague memory from your past.

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Go Where It’s Easy To Be Social

Being at the right place is insanely important when it comes to connecting with new people.

Avoid places where it’s not appropriate or natural to go out to someone and say “Hi, my name is so and so…” It’s much harder to socialize in these kinds of places, because people don’t go there to make new friends, but rather, to hang out with their existing friends in a closed group.

Instead, go to places where people come alone or in a small group to meet new people. In situations like these, it’s easy to just walk up to anyone and introduce yourself. If you focus on going to these places, you’ll make your social life 10 times easier to build. I’m talking about places like trade shows, exhibitions, talks and seminars, opening nights, meetup events, etc.

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If You Want To Talk To Someone, Start Where They Are

The best way to start a conversation with people is to start with what they’re focused on. Most of the time, you’ll find people concerned about what’s going on in their life, and that’s where to start. Forget what you’re worried about, stop thinking about yourself and focus on them.

This means that you’re going to show interest in them, ask questions, and find the unique things about the other person.

You can do this by saying things like, “Interesting, tell me more!” or ask the question “Why?” When someone tells you about a certain industry they’re in, a class they’re taking, or a hobby, ask, “why?” That will get the conversation to be a little more intimate and interesting.

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Be A Tiny Bit More Open Than Usual

Stop trying to make yourself give a good impression. Be more human, and you’ll be far better at conversations. When you meet new people, don’t fall in the trap of only saying things that are impressive, cool, perfect-sounding, or clever–that’s not going to help you.

I suggest that you say even things that you’re not very proud of, and show that you’re human. You don’t have to reveal the most embarrassing things about yourself, but you can be just a tiny bit more honest and authentic.

Just after you do that, you could notice people turning their bodies more and more toward you, looking at you with open eyes and wider smiles. Why? Because you’re a human being like them, and they love that.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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