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How To Be Social Whenever You Want

How To Be Social Whenever You Want

If you happen to freeze in social situations, and you can’t get yourself to talk to people, then you know how many opportunities for good friends and good fun you’ve missed out on. Maybe it’s time to learn how to be social.

What if you could talk to people whenever you want, keep the conversation going, stay in touch, meet again, make friends, and build a great friend circle? How much more and fun and interesting would your life be?

Having a great social life boils down to a set of simple changes in mindset and behavior, this article will get you started at being able to talk to people whenever you want to. But first…

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Let’s Get Real About Social Rejection

The problem here is that you’re labeling normal behavior as rejection, which means you’re just not reading the signs correctly. Once you learn how to read the signs, you’ll realize how rare it is to be really rejected by anyone; it almost never happens.

The thing is, even if you’re be a very powerful and in-demand person, there always going to be people who don’t feel in the mood to talk, don’t have time to hang out, or just don’t have room for new friends. If you interpret all that as “something wrong with you,” then you’re being too hard on yourself.

If you only focus on learning how to socialize and how to make friends, then the fear of social rejection will become a vague memory from your past.

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Go Where It’s Easy To Be Social

Being at the right place is insanely important when it comes to connecting with new people.

Avoid places where it’s not appropriate or natural to go out to someone and say “Hi, my name is so and so…” It’s much harder to socialize in these kinds of places, because people don’t go there to make new friends, but rather, to hang out with their existing friends in a closed group.

Instead, go to places where people come alone or in a small group to meet new people. In situations like these, it’s easy to just walk up to anyone and introduce yourself. If you focus on going to these places, you’ll make your social life 10 times easier to build. I’m talking about places like trade shows, exhibitions, talks and seminars, opening nights, meetup events, etc.

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If You Want To Talk To Someone, Start Where They Are

The best way to start a conversation with people is to start with what they’re focused on. Most of the time, you’ll find people concerned about what’s going on in their life, and that’s where to start. Forget what you’re worried about, stop thinking about yourself and focus on them.

This means that you’re going to show interest in them, ask questions, and find the unique things about the other person.

You can do this by saying things like, “Interesting, tell me more!” or ask the question “Why?” When someone tells you about a certain industry they’re in, a class they’re taking, or a hobby, ask, “why?” That will get the conversation to be a little more intimate and interesting.

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Be A Tiny Bit More Open Than Usual

Stop trying to make yourself give a good impression. Be more human, and you’ll be far better at conversations. When you meet new people, don’t fall in the trap of only saying things that are impressive, cool, perfect-sounding, or clever–that’s not going to help you.

I suggest that you say even things that you’re not very proud of, and show that you’re human. You don’t have to reveal the most embarrassing things about yourself, but you can be just a tiny bit more honest and authentic.

Just after you do that, you could notice people turning their bodies more and more toward you, looking at you with open eyes and wider smiles. Why? Because you’re a human being like them, and they love that.

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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