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How To Be Social Whenever You Want

How To Be Social Whenever You Want

If you happen to freeze in social situations, and you can’t get yourself to talk to people, then you know how many opportunities for good friends and good fun you’ve missed out on. Maybe it’s time to learn how to be social.

What if you could talk to people whenever you want, keep the conversation going, stay in touch, meet again, make friends, and build a great friend circle? How much more and fun and interesting would your life be?

Having a great social life boils down to a set of simple changes in mindset and behavior, this article will get you started at being able to talk to people whenever you want to. But first…

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Let’s Get Real About Social Rejection

The problem here is that you’re labeling normal behavior as rejection, which means you’re just not reading the signs correctly. Once you learn how to read the signs, you’ll realize how rare it is to be really rejected by anyone; it almost never happens.

The thing is, even if you’re be a very powerful and in-demand person, there always going to be people who don’t feel in the mood to talk, don’t have time to hang out, or just don’t have room for new friends. If you interpret all that as “something wrong with you,” then you’re being too hard on yourself.

If you only focus on learning how to socialize and how to make friends, then the fear of social rejection will become a vague memory from your past.

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Go Where It’s Easy To Be Social

Being at the right place is insanely important when it comes to connecting with new people.

Avoid places where it’s not appropriate or natural to go out to someone and say “Hi, my name is so and so…” It’s much harder to socialize in these kinds of places, because people don’t go there to make new friends, but rather, to hang out with their existing friends in a closed group.

Instead, go to places where people come alone or in a small group to meet new people. In situations like these, it’s easy to just walk up to anyone and introduce yourself. If you focus on going to these places, you’ll make your social life 10 times easier to build. I’m talking about places like trade shows, exhibitions, talks and seminars, opening nights, meetup events, etc.

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If You Want To Talk To Someone, Start Where They Are

The best way to start a conversation with people is to start with what they’re focused on. Most of the time, you’ll find people concerned about what’s going on in their life, and that’s where to start. Forget what you’re worried about, stop thinking about yourself and focus on them.

This means that you’re going to show interest in them, ask questions, and find the unique things about the other person.

You can do this by saying things like, “Interesting, tell me more!” or ask the question “Why?” When someone tells you about a certain industry they’re in, a class they’re taking, or a hobby, ask, “why?” That will get the conversation to be a little more intimate and interesting.

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Be A Tiny Bit More Open Than Usual

Stop trying to make yourself give a good impression. Be more human, and you’ll be far better at conversations. When you meet new people, don’t fall in the trap of only saying things that are impressive, cool, perfect-sounding, or clever–that’s not going to help you.

I suggest that you say even things that you’re not very proud of, and show that you’re human. You don’t have to reveal the most embarrassing things about yourself, but you can be just a tiny bit more honest and authentic.

Just after you do that, you could notice people turning their bodies more and more toward you, looking at you with open eyes and wider smiles. Why? Because you’re a human being like them, and they love that.

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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