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How Much Are You Worth?

How Much Are You Worth?

If someone had to put a dollar value on you, how much would you be worth? What factors need to be taken into consideration when evaluating a person’s worth? Annual salary? Contribution to society? Aesthetic appeal? Below is a rubric for evaluating a person’s value:

1. Quality of Interpersonal Interactions

We are defined by how we treat other people. Each interaction with another individual reflects a personal belief system and code of morality. How do you treat strangers? How do you treat the people closest to you? These observations give great insight on a person’s character. A high-quality person treats all people with respect, no matter the relationship. A stranger deserves an equal amount of respect as a longtime friend. Even if a person has wronged a high-value individual, the wrongdoer is still treated with respect. High-value people understand that disrespecting others is the equivalent of disrespecting the self.

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2. Quality of Relationship to the Self

Think about your interactions with yourself; the voice in your head. How reassuring is it? How positive? How cruel? A high-value person has an honest and fair relationship with himself. He is realistic about his flaws, but confident in his ability to learn, grow, and change for the better. A high-value person talks to himself as a friend and as a coach; the relationship is solid and aimed at progression.

3. Consistent Demonstration of Courage

A high-value person is brave. Bravery does not mean that he feels no fear; instead, he is attuned to the feeling of fear, yet proceeds in the right direction anyway. A high-quality person is courageous enough to express his personal gifts and opinions. He does not act with the purpose of gaining popularity: he acts because he is very in touch with his core belief system. Actions are deliberate and aligned with his values, and courage is the refusal to be defined by convention at the cost of authenticity.

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4. Strength of Will and Moral Fiber

A high-value person is willful, powerful, and moral. There is a clear difference between right and wrong in his book, and these values are non-negotiable. What this type of individual sees as worth pursuing is given full attention and priority. Human willpower is capable of accomplishing astounding feats. Strength of will is defined as a committed persistence to excellence.

5. Contribution

A high-value person realizes that he was created to give, and understands that personal wealth is reflected in contribution. His contributions are not made with an ostentatious purpose. Contribution does not have to be at a large scale: giving is an act of joy in itself. By giving to others, the high-value individual feels full inside. This person strategically gives his unique gifts often, but not so that he neglects himself.

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6. Ability to Empathize and Forgive

A high-value individual understands the susceptibility of humans to frequent error, understanding himself as a flawed but still valuable being. A high-quality person is capable of relating to those that have wronged him. He is capable of forgiving both outsiders, and himself. Kindness and benefit of doubt go a long way, and holding resentment and bitterness does not allow one to live to his fully capacity. Forgiveness is emancipation from  chains of resentment that keep one fettered to the past.

7. Effective Prioritizing

This world is complicated. We are pulled in multiple directions every day, willingly, or not. Smart people have a strict list of priorities, with interpersonal relationships at the top. There is a difference between having a priority list and living one’s life according to the list. High-value people are excellent time, emotion, and energy managers who carefully allot their personal resources according to their priority list. If a time-consuming objective of low value arises, it is eliminated. The majority of time, emotional, and energy resources are given to nurture and sustain important relationships. The high-value person understands that quality relationships with people are all uniquely temporary and thus invaluable.

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8. Flexibility and Openness to Change

A high-value person understands that we are under the illusion that we are completely in control of our lives. As much as we would like to predict the future, it is impossible. A high-value individual practices the art of letting go when control cannot be maintained. He realizes that flexibility is counterintuitive to the human’s need to seek comfort, but fearlessly leaves parts of his life open to outside forces. He does not get angry when things don’t go his way, or when uncontrollable events occur. Traffic, weather, and other people are not controllable. However, emotional mastery is.

 

So, how much are you worth?

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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