Advertising
Advertising

How To Make Small Talk With Anyone

How To Make Small Talk With Anyone

When meeting new people, do you know how to make small talk? Do you feel that’s the barrier keeping you from making friends and building a social life? Making small talk is in fact a great skill to have; it gives you access to pretty much anyone that you come across in a social setting.

In this article, I want to share some key pointers on how to make small talk and have great conversations.

It’s Way Easier Than You Think

What makes small talk an easy skill to learn is the fact that you can practice pretty much anywhere. You can practice with bartenders, waitresses, cab drivers, neighbors, etc. You can always be ready to talk a little longer with a random stranger, and take just small attempts at improving your small talk muscle.

As a rule of thumb, try to hold conversations for 5% longer than usual.

Advertising

Fortunately, you can only get better at it, and it stays with you for a very long time. You automatically start to adapt what you talk about and how you do it according to the social situations you’re in.

Learn To Go With The Flow

Making small talk is about being random and going with the flow. This means that it’s not a structured way to communicate.

The easiest way to start learning small talk is to realize that all topics of conversation are related. Every subject is related to every other subject, directly or indirectly. There is always a link between anything and everything else.

For example, if someone talks about what they saw on TV today, you can share what you saw recently on TV as well. If they’re talking about the news, you can talk about your favorite kind of news, even if it’s not directly related to what they just mentioned.

Advertising

As a rule of thumb, talk about what the last thought reminds you of. Don’t censor yourself too much…

The Enemy Of Small Talk Is Self-Censorship

Now that you know that all topics are linked, you can start practicing with people wherever you go.

A major block that won’t let you do that is a common tendency to avoid speaking your mind freely. See, if you only say things that are interesting, fun, original, funny, or impressive… you’ll run out of them very soon.

Instead of censoring yourself and ending up with nothing to say, give yourself more freedom to experiment with subjects you’re not used to addressing. You don’t have to be Miss or Mister amazing; all you have to do is get into a talkative mood.

Advertising

Now, should you talk about anything that pops in your mind? Well, if you have trouble making small talk, then I bet you’re very far away from the other extreme. I bet there are a lot of things around you, and ideas you have inside that you’re not allowing yourself to talk about.

I recommend that you break free from that excessive self-censorship and just talk.

Access The Magic Behind Small Talk

A great mindset I’ll leave you with here is the one where you understand the value of small talk and why you should learn it. The purpose of keeping conversations going is to build rapport, find things in common, and make people feel comfortable.

While it looks like some pointless chatter, small talk has real magic behind it. The value is in making people comfortable with you; it makes them open up to more meaningful conversations. If there is no small talk and no comfort, they keep their distance.

Advertising

If you want to achieve that faster, look for subtle commonalities, and focus on the things that you agree on with the person. This habit of finding common ground with someone you meet gives you the basis on which you can build great friendships.

Remember, the basis of friendship is commonalities. Make sure you look for them.

Best of luck.

More by this author

What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

Trending in Communication

1 7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life 2 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On 3 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 4 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 5 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

Advertising

2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

Advertising

These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

Advertising

You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

Advertising

7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next