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How to Keep the WOW Factor Going

How to Keep the WOW Factor Going

Andy Murray just won Wimbledon; everybody was wowed! What wows you these days? You know, makes your heart start beating really fast, raises your blood pressure, and makes your mind spin at the thought of doing this or getting that? Maybe it’s a new car, a diamond ring, or a new boat? Maybe it’s a new wardrobe, or someone else’s figure to wear it? How about flying jets or becoming an actor or singer? There are plenty of things that we want, or want to be, plenty of things that we see and go “WOW” I’d die to do that or have that. Then we get it, and before too long we notice that something happens: the lustre fades. Why?

How in the world can we want something so badly, but once we’ve had it for a while it becomes so familiar that we don’t even notice it anymore? Is it because we’re never satisfied, so we want more? Is it because we take things for granted once we have them? Do we get bored? What causes the lustre of the things to fade? What causes the WOW factor to diminish, and how can we keep the passion burning?

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Look at Andy Murray: he just won Wimbledon, so he wowed the crowds for sure. Now everyone wants to know about him—they want to give him advice, they want him to marry his girlfriend, and they want him to keep the wow factor going. How will he do it? How do any of us do it? Here are a few ideas:

The wow factor is intangible

Maybe the reason we lose interest in things, or the things we do, is because they stop stimulating us in the way they did in the beginning. We may love the fast car, or the shiny ring, but they may lose their meaning because the wow has to have a purpose or meaning for us. Amassing things may give us an initial feeling of value, worth, or security, but it doesn’t hold up in the long run. Even the things we do can get stale if we don’t find the magic and keep them going. The real wow involves an internal drive or passion that things alone can’t produce.

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Performance is key

Whether we’re talking about a tennis star, a movie star, a writer, singer, or business executive, we’re talking about producing. If Andy Murray stops winning in tennis, if Tiger Woods keeps losing at golf, if the latest onscreen heartthrob cranks out flops, or if Nicholas Sparks quits writing great books, it’s over. To keep the wow going you have to produce great content, and that flows from something deep inside.

Passion

To keep all this performance stuff going, something intangible has to stir you. That means you find your passion and develop it. How? By exposing yourself to different things you love. Then start narrowing down what you’re passionate about. For example, if you love writing, you’ll need to find a niche there. Do you want to write fiction, non-fiction, romance, or history? Notice which genre stirs your passion and makes your creative juices flow. Then figure out how you can use that to accomplish what you want and what makes you feel alive. You don’t have to be a superstar to experience that, but you do have to harness the passion.

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Self–Awareness

To keep the wow factor going you also need to be attuned and self-aware. If you’re successful, you have to be aware of how it’s affecting you. Andy Murray is getting blown up everywhere now; no-one was paying him too much attention before, and now overnight he’s a superstar. Everyone wants a piece of him. That’s a lot of pressure, and can pull you off course if you’re not careful. While we’re not all going to be superstars, we do need to pay attention to how life and our particular stresses affect our hearts. We need to check the emotional pulse on our hearts daily.

If you’re noticing your life or the things around you are losing some lustre, start fanning the flames again by setting some new goals or revamping some old ones. It’s never too late to find new things to excite you, or add some new passion into old love. When you’re happy and fulfilled from the inside, the outside stuff will be more enjoyable too.

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More by this author

Rita Schulte LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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