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How to Forgive Someone You Really Hate

How to Forgive Someone You Really Hate

Man is a social animal and ought to socialize, but with company around, there are times when egos tend to mingle along as well. This could result in exchanges of words that could put a strain on relationships. Continuous bashing of words with an individual could turn ugly and lead to hatred.

The impact of hatred

Hating someone is injurious to one’s own health since it causes anger within, and this annoyance can take a toll on one’s health if it builds too high.

Why Forgive?

Mental balance applies towards good health. Since health is wealth, forgiveness is the way to go. Forgiving someone is like having a mental balance by letting go of any resentment or grudges towards an individua, which will help to clear the conscience and is very crucial for resolving relationships.

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There are a couple of C’s involved in burying the hatchet:

  • Categorize

Many a time, we are not aware of why we hate someone and continue to walk on a path that disturbs one’s mental and physical well-being. We should be able to recognize the pattern that arises when we come across a certain human being. Once we are able to categorize the pattern, we can move to the next step

  • Cause

We should try to search within ourselves with regard to what and how the individual has hurt us, and why we hate them. Finding a cause helps us to bring closure within ourselves, and we can open up to discussion within the self, and even with the person whom we hate.

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  • Confront

Coming face-to-face with the person whom one hates is a challenge, but confronting the individual will lead to peace of mind and a sound sleep at night. Brave up and face that person.

  • Conversation

Once in the presence of the person who is hated, start a conversation and communicate about what bothers you. Being frank about what and how that person’s behavior irks oneself will help both discuss issues, and will eventually lead to clarification.

  • Contrite

Apologizing to the disliked person can do wonders for one’s physical and mental being, bringing happiness and contentment. Keeping one’s egos aside and expressing remorse is the key to forgiveness.

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  • Be Compassionate with yourself

Once you forgive a person, be patient and kind to your self. Time is a big healer, thus give time to heal—physically and emotionally. Express your pain and anxiety, and do not keep it bottled up. Appreciate the goodness of people around you, and visualize a new life with positive energy each day. This will help to shape each day free of pain and suffering.

  • Caution

Once you made amends, set your boundaries to avoid repeating history so that you do not get hurt again. Be sure to keep a good distance from the person who triggered chaos in your mind and made you lose your sleep at night. Since we cannot change an individual, it’s smart to keep away from them.

Humans want to walk on the forbidden path, and there are chances that we can get attracted to people who have raised our blood pressure previously. Thus, retrain your thinking by wishing well about the person whom you just forgave. Hope the best for him while being intelligent and making wise decisions with respect to your mental well-being.

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Conclusion

We all share this planet, so it’s important to make amends with your self, and learn to forgive those who hurt your feelings. Forgiveness is yours, and to live a life without forgiveness is choosing a life full of hurt and stress. You are doing yourself a favor by learning to forgive others.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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