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How to End a Conversation like a Gentleman

How to End a Conversation like a Gentleman

Dr. Thomas Fuller, renowned British physician, preacher and intellectual, once said: “Education begins a gentleman, conversation completes him.” We can see this to be true with prominent gentlemen like Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington and Robert E. Lee, who not only paid attention to how they dressed, groomed and conducted themselves, but also how they initiated, held and ended conservations. These great gentlemen understood that good manners do not make you less of a man, but more of one.

If you want to be a real gentleman, you need to learn how to initiate conversations that are characterized by gentlemanly bearing and good manners. This means you should take into account all the key aspects that make a conversation enlightening and pleasurable, such as listening keenly, speaking in tune, not interrupting and disagreeing amicably. And, when it is time to disengage from a conversation, a gentleman makes sure he leaves in good terms.

Here are some handy tips on etiquette and sociality you can use to end conversations gracefully like a gentleman.

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1. Give nonverbal exit cues

A gentleman is considerate. Whether you feel like you aren’t being given a chance to talk in a conversation or you discover your interest isn’t mutual, you still need to be considerate of the other person’s feelings and rights. Give nonverbal exit cues to prepare them for the end of the exchange.

Stand up if you are sitting down, or purposely turn toward the exit door or general direction you were heading. Most people will recognize these cues and wrap up the discussion or poise themselves for you to end the exchange.

2. Give a polite summary statement

A gentleman is also polite. You don’t just walk away abruptly in the middle of a conversation without saying anything. That is rude and impolite. Give a summary statement of what you’ve been talking about and then say you’ve got to go. Giving such a statement is a nice way to transition smoothly from conversation to its conclusion.

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Wait for a lull in the conversation, and then sum up with a line on what you’ve been discussing. For example, you could say something like: “Yeah, that book was really good. I’m thrilled you liked it too. I really enjoyed talking to you.”

3. Give a reason why you have to end the conversation

A gentleman is truthful. It may be tempting to fabricate excuses to exit a conversation, but doing so risks you coming off as dishonest and can bring other problems later. So, give an honest explanation why you have to end the discussion. This is one of the best ways to bring things to a clean close. For example, you could say something like: “It was great catching up with you, but I’ve got to go inside now and start preparing dinner for the kids.”

If you don’t have a genuine reason to end the talk, you could try a statement that implies you have crossed something important off your “to-do list” just by talking to the person. For example, you could say something like: “I’m glad we talked. I just wanted to know how your family was doing.”

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4. Close with a hearty handshake

A gentleman is always ready to close a discussion with a hearty handshake. A handshake represents a standard, tried and true gesture that signals the end of a conversation. You can even use it as a barometer to measure how well a discussion went. Extend a firm hand accompanied by a warm smile or hug to close the interaction on a high note and with warm feelings.

If the interaction went really well, you could also exchange phone numbers or business cards at the end. Apart from being an act of good etiquette, exchanging contacts can prove vital in future interactions.

5. Just wrap it up concisely and leave

A gentleman is straight forward and direct, especially with people he knows and who know him well. You don’t have to explain why you have to end a discussion every time—it’s okay to wrap up the conversation quickly and concisely without giving an explanation. Most people will understand that you are not being mean; it’s only that you have other things you need to do.

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Wait for a quiet moment in the chat and bounce out using words like “Well,” “Anyway” or “Okay.” You may also mention the name of the person you are conversing with to add a personal feeling of warmth in the sign out. For example, say something like: “Totally agree with you, John. Anyway, I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.” Head off soon afterward.

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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