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How To Communicate With Irrational And Angry People

How To Communicate With Irrational And Angry People

Trying to get through to someone who is angry or acting irrationally can be very frustrating. It’s also easy to dismiss their anger or write them off. However, in business and in life that is not always an option.

There are some ways to defuse someone’s anger and bring them back into a more rational frame of mind. So here are a few simple things anyone can do to calm a situation down.

Don’t get worked up

Remain calm. When people are angry don’t respond with anger. This will make them feel their anger is justified and simply fuels further anger. This will escalate the situation. Your goal is to calm them down.

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Take a deep breath. Remember the person is not angry at you, but often with something completely different. You’re just the recipient of their free-floating hostility. Keep calm and they’ll work through the anger. They could just need someone to listen to them. Calmly hear them out and that could be all they need.

Put yourself in their shoes

You never know what is going on behind the doors of someone else’s life. This could be the worst day of their life. They could have gotten some terrible news. They could be dealing with a major life change. Listen to what they’re saying.

Try to put yourself into their situation for a just a moment. Think about how you’d feel if your cat just died or your significant other just dumped you or you lost your job. Everyone has bad days and on those days we have to talk to people. This could be one of those days.

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Be clear and concise

Language barriers and jargon can lead to frustration. If someone doesn’t speak the same language as you, be patient with them, they may not know all the words you do. Find smaller, simple words to ease the language barrier.

Each industry has its own terminology, it’s called jargon. And just because you understand what something means, there is no guarantee the person you’re talking to will. Try to avoid jargon and use plain language.

Use their name

People don’t like to be thought of as a number or just another faceless consumer. Address them by their name and make a personal connection. Try to make them special even in the tiniest of ways. Make them feel that you care about their problem and talk to them like a person.

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You’re here to help

Life is rough and we’re all in this together. Show them that you care. We all have days where we need someone to reach out and help us. The cause of anger or irrational behavior can be stress or sadness about something unrelated.

Empathize with the person and let them see that you care. You feel their pain. You understand the anger and you’re here to help them out. They have a problem and you’re here to fix it.

There is no better feeling than when someone is taking care of you. I’ve seen anger melt away when the person knew I was there to solve their problems and make things better for them. Be that problem solver!

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Realize sometimes there is no winning

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there is no way to get through to someone being irrational. If they’re irrational and angry they may just need to vent and get it out of their system. In this case, just let them do so. Endure the fury and once they’ve let the anger go, they may be much more reasonable.

Unfortunately, there are some cases where no matter what you do, you still won’t get through to them. In this case, let it go. You can only do as much as you can.

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Last Updated on October 9, 2018

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

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  1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
  2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
  3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
  4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
  5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
  6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
  7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
  8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
  9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
  10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
  11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
  12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
  13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
  14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
  15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
  16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
  17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
  18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
  19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
  20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
  21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
  22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
  23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
  24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
  25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
  26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
  27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

Remember:

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It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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