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Helping a Hurt World Without Getting Hurt

Helping a Hurt World Without Getting Hurt

What do you do when someone yells at you for no fault of your own? How do you respond when someone hurts you?

People out there have been hurt in some way or the other at some point of their lives, and much of the rude and harsh behavior people display may be due to a kind of displacement behavior to their own hurt feelings. The driver who yelled at you, the friend who spoke behind your back, the boss who bellowed at you—all may have been hurting, which made them act the way they did. The hurt ones often brood hatred in their hearts and they spread it along, perpetuating the hurt-hate-hurt cycle.

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Fortunately we have people who go out of their way to try and comfort and heal such hurt souls. They are, however, often seen as “advice givers”, “moral policemen” and “the over-righteous” and are simply hurt back. This article is about how to take courage to stop the hurt-hate-hurt cycle, and how to avoid getting hurt in the process.

1. Let go of your ego.

It may not be your fault. It may be injustice against you, but before you respond to the situation, it is wise to think a little about how to handle the situation, putting aside your ego and hurt. You can always hurt back and perpetuate the hurt-hate-hurt cycle, or you may think proactively and maturely and heal the other person and come to a peaceful solution instead. To fight back doesn’t require much strength, but to put aside your hurt ego and to restore peace with your fellow humans, and to stop the hurt-hate-hurt cycle requires great patience and a noble heart. This doesn’t mean you should let yourself be abused or taken advantage of; you will always know the limit of how much you can bear. The more the strength you have, the more you’ll be able to turn the situation for the better for the peace of all. If you’ve hurt back at any point of time, be prompt to apologize.

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2. Listen to understand. not to judge.

The greatest help you can give a hurt soul is a pair of listening ears & an understanding heart. Listen to people intently as they verbalize their feelings and do not try to judge them, for you’ll never have the advantage of walking in their shoes. Just listen carefully and make sure your body language expresses your interest in the conversation and the genuine concern your heart holds.

After listening to them, you may come to understand yet another dimension of the problem which you might have never conceived of! You will now be in a better position to show care and compassion, and it will also be easier to empathize with the hurt person.

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“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”
― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

3. Choose the right words.

Words are a great source of power. Words can connect, words can enlighten, and can even demolish a nation. Choose words that are gentle and soft, consoling and caring in nature. Make sure that people understand that they are loved and accepted as they are. Communicate to them that in a world full of flaws and frustrations, there is always hope for the better.

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For some people, you may have to point out their faults to them and give them stern advice to change their ways. Do so gently while you leave an impression that you are acting out of compassion and not out of hatred, and help physically whenever possible—merely listening and offering compassionate words may not suffice. Offer physical help whenever it is required, and when it is within your capacity to do so.

4. Be a messenger of peace.

These are just a few things that have worked for me to annihilate hatred and spread peace. You can undoubtedly find even more ways to do so when you commit yourself to spread peace instead of hatred. It may require a deal deal of patience and sacrifice from your side, but the transforming influence that it will have on you and your surroundings will be your motivation. Go ahead and break the hurt-hate-hurt cycle.

All the best, peace warrior. The world needs you.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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