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Handling Mail Overload: The Hard Copy Edition

Handling Mail Overload: The Hard Copy Edition

    Checking my mail is part of my daily routine, rain or shine. I’m not talking about all those messages on my computer, either. I’m talking about the paper stuff that the mailman brings by every day but Sunday.

    I don’t know about you, but I still get plenty of the paper stuff. I keep wondering why all these catalogs keep showing up in my mailbox when emailing me about new products is so much cheaper. But I still wind up with more paper than I can handle.

    There are a few steps I’ve taken to get my mail under control.

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    Put a trash can near the front door

    As I get my mail, I immediately sort into three piles — to throw away, to shred and to open. I know plenty of people might need more specific piles, but I’ve found that keeping things simple helps.

    I don’t want to bring junk mail further into my home than I have to. If I’m not careful, I’ll wind up setting down the mail before I get a chance to throw away the junk. Then I just wind up with more paper cluttering up my place that I have to sort through before I can throw away. My trash pile barely makes it past the door.

    Go wild with the shredder

    I fully recommend investing in a decent shredder — cross cut lasts longer than diamond cut, for what it’s worth. I have a policy of shredding everything that comes into my home that has my address on it — down to the covers of catalogs.

    Before you think I’ve slipped over into crazy paranoia, though, allow me to explain: if you shred only sensitive material, someone with serious dedication and lots of time could probably piece it back together. But every piece of noise (or less sensitive paperwork) that you add to your pile of shredded material makes putting any of it back together that much harder. Catalog covers and empty envelopes make for great noise.

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    Stop at least some junk mail

    There are lots of companies that will take your money to help you stop receiving at least a portion of your junk mail. There are several free services that can help, however.

    Start with the Direct Marketing Association. You can list yourself with the DMA’s Mail Preference Service. Many direct marketers use the DMA’s list to check that recipients haven’t opted out of receiving direct marketing. This tactic won’t eliminate all your junk mail, but it can put a dent in it.

    Your second stop should be OptOutPreScreen.com. This site is operated by Equifax, Experian, Innovis and TransUnion — the four major credit reporting bureaus. Opting out through this site will remove your name from many of the lists that credit card, insurance and mortgage companies use to send out offers.

    Lastly, you may want to contact companies directly if they continue sending you mail you don’t want. There is one catalog company that was surprisingly persistent, despite the fact that I never requested a catalog nor purchased anything from the company, but when I called up and simply asked to be removed from the company’s mailing list the problem was solved.

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    Reduce your real mail

    With all the identity theft problems I’ve heard about, I’m not precisely happy with having my bank statements and other financial information in my mail box. I have a locking mail box, but I’ve gone to check my mail and found it hanging open more than once.

    Luckily, many banks and other companies handling your financial data are making online billing an option. Bank of America, for instance, allows you to receive your statements online. They never reach your mail box. For most programs, you can just change your account settings online.

    The package question

    One of the things I like about my apartment complex is that the apartment office accepts packages for residents. I’ve lived plenty of places where I’d routinely come home to a box at my front door — or learn about a missing package a week later.

    Unfortunately, there isn’t a simple solution to accepting packages unless you’re planning to stay home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Packages remain one of my biggest concerns, mail-wise, and I haven’t found a simple solution yet.

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    Ditch hard copy entirely

    Rather than dealing with your mail yourself, you can outsource the task. Companies like Earth Class Mail will accept, scan and then either store, shred or forward your mail as you choose. There are even companies that will handle your outgoing correspondence, as well — although these services are more for birthday cards or mass mailings than anything else.

    I haven’t tried this solution myself — if you have, I’d love to hear about it in the comments. I do like the idea behind it, especially when I travel. Just the thought of not having to sort junk mail myself is pretty tempting.

    Hack your mailbox

    Just as you can set rules to deal with your email, you can set rules for your paper mail. They aren’t automatic, but you can go through your mail just as quickly if you have a process to follow. You can get your mailboxes, physical and electronic, under control.

    The only problem I have with my mailbox lately is that it’s often empty. Sometimes I go and write letters, just to make sure I have some mail to look forward to.

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    Last Updated on January 24, 2021

    How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

    How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

    Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

    For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

    But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

    It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

    And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

    The Importance of Saying No

    When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

    In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

    Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

    Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

    Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

    “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

    When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

    How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

    It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

    From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

    We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

    And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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    At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

    The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

    How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

    Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

    But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

    3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

    1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

    Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

    If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

    2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

    When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

    Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

    3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

    When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

    6 Ways to Start Saying No

    Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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    1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

    One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

    Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

    2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

    Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

    Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

    3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

    Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

    Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

    You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

    4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

    Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

    Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

    5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

    When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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    How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

      Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

      Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

      6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

      If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

      Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

      Final Thoughts

      Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

      Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

      Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

      More Tips on How to Say No

      Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
      [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
      [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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