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What You Could Do To Get Over Disappointments If You Were Leonardo DiCaprio

What You Could Do To Get Over Disappointments If You Were Leonardo DiCaprio

Poor, poor Leo.

The 86th Academy Awards marked the 20th anniversary of Leonardo DiCaprio’s first Oscar nomination. Unfortunately, it was also the fourth time he went home empty-handed. Despite being one of the most bankable actors in Hollywood, that little golden statue continues to allude him over two decades into his wildly successful career. Here is the history behind Leo’s Oscar losses:

1994

Nominated for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape as “best supporting actor,” but lost to Tommy Lee Jones for The Fugitive.

2005

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Nominated for The Aviator as “best actor” but lost to Jamie Foxx in Ray.

2007

Nominated for Blood Diamond as “best actor” but lost to Forest Whitaker for The Last King of Scotland.

2014

Nominated for The Wolf of Wall Street as “best actor” but lost to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club.

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After so many years of Academy Awards shaped disappointment, Leo may need some tips on how to get past it and cheer up. But these aren’t exclusively life hacks for the rich and famous. If they were, my list would consist of:

  • Roll around naked in your piles of money
  • Go yachting with models (again).
  • Stand perfectly still whilst millions of fans scream accolades at you
  • Think about how you get paid millions of dollars to indulge in your passion for a living
  • Bask in your own talent and brilliance

No. These tips are ones that even us ordinary plebs can apply to our everyday lives.

1. Let It All Out

    It’s okay to be disappointed. Allow yourself to feel it, and do so without the hidden agenda of trying to speed up the grieving process. Wallowing in your pain is the best way to both move on and to reflect properly in the future. Whether you need to scream, cry or head on down to the shooting range, do what you gotta do.

    2. Ignore Your Critics

      Whether they be professional critics, co-workers, friends or even yourself; ignore them. Disappointments don’t mean failure and you should always persevere if you really want something. Remember, success is one percent talent, 99 perspiration.

      3. Get Some Perspective

        Okay, so I know you may want to smack the crap out of the people who say “it’s not the end of the world.” I get it, they’re annoying. They do, however, have a point. You need to get some perspective on the situation and ask if it will really matter that much in the long run. It’s a mere setback, not a permanent road block.

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        4. Really Get Some Perspective

          If the last tip didn’t work, think about this: is your problem or disappointment really that bad? There are people out there without a roof over their heads. Others don’t have access to clean water sources or regular food. Some people live without basic human rights simply because of who they are or where they were born. Now tell me again about how much your life supposedly sucks.

          5. Be Grateful

            Now that you have some perspective, it’s time to be grateful for what you have. Think about how lucky you are to have what you do, and start thinking about hat resources you have to improve your own situation. I’m willing to be you have access to a lot more future opportunities than you realized.

            6. Stop Wallowing

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              I know I said that you need to take time to mourn—just don’t take too much time. There’s a distinct difference between taking the time to feel your hurt or disappointment and just plain wasting time. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut you can’t haul yourself out of. Feel it, sure; but know when it’s time to buckle up and move on.

              7. Persevere

                Life will throw many a setback at you; don’t let it get you down. I’m sure this isn’t your first disappointment and it certainly wont be your last. Now that you’ve taken the time to wallow and reflect, you need to plan your next move and get back out there. Never give up on your goals and dreams.

                More by this author

                Tegan Jones

                Tegan is a passionate journalist, writer and editor. She writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                Last Updated on September 18, 2020

                13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

                “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

                Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

                You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

                Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

                1. Take a step back and evaluate

                When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

                1. What is the problem?
                2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
                3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
                4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
                5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

                Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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                2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

                If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

                At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

                Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

                3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

                Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

                4. Process your thoughts/emotions

                Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

                1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
                2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
                3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
                4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

                5. Acknowledge your thoughts

                Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

                By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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                Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

                6. Give yourself a break

                If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

                7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

                A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

                Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

                After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

                8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

                As Helen Keller once said,

                “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

                Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

                9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

                In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

                1. What’s the situation?
                2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
                3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
                4. Take action on your next steps!

                After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

                10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

                A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

                Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

                For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

                11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

                No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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                12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

                No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

                13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

                There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

                After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

                Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

                Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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