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What You Could Do To Get Over Disappointments If You Were Leonardo DiCaprio

What You Could Do To Get Over Disappointments If You Were Leonardo DiCaprio

Poor, poor Leo.

The 86th Academy Awards marked the 20th anniversary of Leonardo DiCaprio’s first Oscar nomination. Unfortunately, it was also the fourth time he went home empty-handed. Despite being one of the most bankable actors in Hollywood, that little golden statue continues to allude him over two decades into his wildly successful career. Here is the history behind Leo’s Oscar losses:

1994

Nominated for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape as “best supporting actor,” but lost to Tommy Lee Jones for The Fugitive.

2005

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Nominated for The Aviator as “best actor” but lost to Jamie Foxx in Ray.

2007

Nominated for Blood Diamond as “best actor” but lost to Forest Whitaker for The Last King of Scotland.

2014

Nominated for The Wolf of Wall Street as “best actor” but lost to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club.

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After so many years of Academy Awards shaped disappointment, Leo may need some tips on how to get past it and cheer up. But these aren’t exclusively life hacks for the rich and famous. If they were, my list would consist of:

  • Roll around naked in your piles of money
  • Go yachting with models (again).
  • Stand perfectly still whilst millions of fans scream accolades at you
  • Think about how you get paid millions of dollars to indulge in your passion for a living
  • Bask in your own talent and brilliance

No. These tips are ones that even us ordinary plebs can apply to our everyday lives.

1. Let It All Out

    It’s okay to be disappointed. Allow yourself to feel it, and do so without the hidden agenda of trying to speed up the grieving process. Wallowing in your pain is the best way to both move on and to reflect properly in the future. Whether you need to scream, cry or head on down to the shooting range, do what you gotta do.

    2. Ignore Your Critics

      Whether they be professional critics, co-workers, friends or even yourself; ignore them. Disappointments don’t mean failure and you should always persevere if you really want something. Remember, success is one percent talent, 99 perspiration.

      3. Get Some Perspective

        Okay, so I know you may want to smack the crap out of the people who say “it’s not the end of the world.” I get it, they’re annoying. They do, however, have a point. You need to get some perspective on the situation and ask if it will really matter that much in the long run. It’s a mere setback, not a permanent road block.

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        4. Really Get Some Perspective

          If the last tip didn’t work, think about this: is your problem or disappointment really that bad? There are people out there without a roof over their heads. Others don’t have access to clean water sources or regular food. Some people live without basic human rights simply because of who they are or where they were born. Now tell me again about how much your life supposedly sucks.

          5. Be Grateful

            Now that you have some perspective, it’s time to be grateful for what you have. Think about how lucky you are to have what you do, and start thinking about hat resources you have to improve your own situation. I’m willing to be you have access to a lot more future opportunities than you realized.

            6. Stop Wallowing

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              I know I said that you need to take time to mourn—just don’t take too much time. There’s a distinct difference between taking the time to feel your hurt or disappointment and just plain wasting time. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut you can’t haul yourself out of. Feel it, sure; but know when it’s time to buckle up and move on.

              7. Persevere

                Life will throw many a setback at you; don’t let it get you down. I’m sure this isn’t your first disappointment and it certainly wont be your last. Now that you’ve taken the time to wallow and reflect, you need to plan your next move and get back out there. Never give up on your goals and dreams.

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                Tegan Jones

                Tegan is a passionate journalist, writer and editor. She writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                Published on May 4, 2021

                How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

                In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

                How to Spot Fake People?

                When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

                Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

                1. Full of Themselves

                Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

                Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

                2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

                Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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                It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

                3. Zero Self-Reflection

                To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

                Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

                4. Unrealistic Perceptions

                Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

                A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

                5. Love Attention

                As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

                6. People Pleaser

                Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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                Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

                7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

                Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

                8. Crappy friend

                Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

                It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

                The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

                How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

                It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

                There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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                1. Boundaries

                Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

                2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

                Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

                3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

                If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

                4. Ask for Advice

                If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

                Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

                5. Dig Deeper

                Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

                Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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                6. Practice Self-Care!

                Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

                Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

                Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

                Final Thoughts

                Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

                We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

                More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

                Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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