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Does the Y Chromosome Inspire Confidence?

Does the Y Chromosome Inspire Confidence?

    Most bestselling nonfiction authors are men. The most successful online personalities are men. The people who have made it the biggest in the motivational speaking field? Yup, men again.

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    This is not to say that there aren’t lots of accomplished women in these areas. There are. But there are more men. With regard to speaking, I’ve even had people say to me that I will do well with the bureaus just because I’m missing that certain Y chromosome. I’m female, so apparently that makes me a novelty.

    I’ve been thinking about why this is the case, and my preliminary conclusion is that it has to do with natural confidence and the perception others have of you as a result of that confidence. Doing well in my fields of authoring and speaking requires a certain amount of ego. You have to be willing to put yourself — and your provocative ideas — out there without caring what other people think.

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    When I do a talk, I always poll my audience to see what they think so that I can improve my speech for the next group. There aren’t a lot of top male speakers who do this. They know they’re awesome, and if you don’t like them, they assume that you’re in the minority. It’s a similar deal with authors. I can’t imagine ever hearing a female first-time author say that she intended to have a bestseller right out of the gate. Yet I can name several male first time authors who have said this. And you know what? One of them was actually right.

    We women spend a lot of time being modest. Sometimes we actually feel that way, and sometimes we don’t but think that’s how we’re supposed to act so that other people will like us. At times, though, I believe it has the reverse effect. Other people don’t view us as talented or as worthy because we don’t appear to view ourselves that way.

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    As for the corporate world, there is a ton of research out there that says that men receive higher salaries than women for doing the same job. Even in fields where women dominate the bottom ranks, it’s still unusual to see a woman as CEO of a large organization. It’s easy to say that women are just being discriminated against, but could it be that there’s more to it? Maybe it’s our own fault, and we can actually control what’s happening.

    For my part, I’m going to work on being proud of my accomplishments and feeling that I deserve to be in esteemed company. Maybe if I feel more confident inside, that self-assurance will flow outward and infect the people around me. Ladies, what are you going to do, and men, how can you help us master your secrets to success?

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    Image: Bill Liao

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    Last Updated on June 26, 2020

    10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

    10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

    Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

    1. This Too Shall Pass

    Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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    2. Some Things are Going Right

    When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

    3. I Have Some Control

    One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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    4. I Can Ask for Help

    Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

    5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

    Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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    6. I Can Handle This

    A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

    7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

    No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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    8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

    There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

    9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

    One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

    10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

    When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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    Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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