Advertising
Advertising

Oh So Disconnectedly Connected!

Oh So Disconnectedly Connected!

For many of us, we often find ourselves beginning our days by reading through our Facebook wall noticing all the fun things people around us (or at least in our virtual world) are doing. People are attending little league and major league baseball games, going on vacations, sharing fun pictures from family gatherings or simply while relaxing at home, and their latest travel updates. And in case you were wondering, of course we want to see your latest food creation, completed DIY Pinterest-approved project, an hour-by-hour visual of your day, including a sweaty picture of yourself posing with your treadmill, and all of those pictures of your kids. Without going any further, I will admit that I am definitely guilty of these things too!

It is interesting that although we have not seen many of our “friends” in some time, we are very up to date on all the on-goings in their lives. Is this virtual voyeurism? Or, how can we not be? It seems as though this is the main tool of connection we have among us, and it does allow us to see people we do not have the opportunity to see every day due to distance, circumstances, and time constraints. Why is this bad? Well, it’s not really, but it is a little ironic that as we become more connected in our virtual world, the less connected we might be in our real world. For some, this might be a good thing. After all, we like our identity we have created online, but, this can have consequences too. There has been a term in the media for some time now called “FOMO”, referring to the Fear of Missing Out. For a lot of us, we feel the need to check our Facebook wall first thing in the morning, experiencing some anxiety until we are caught up from anything we have potentially missed overnight. This is especially important if you have friends overseas with a completely different time zone. We definitely need to see what they ate dinner last night and who they were with. In addition to the frequency in checking out our news feed, we can also feel some negative emotions, such as frustration, sadness, or inadequacy, when looking at others’ lively posts and our lowly timeline wall. For some, we may just post those superficial “look at me, I’m really having fun!” pictures that do not really share a true depiction of our day.

Advertising

When we evaluate our social media participation, we need to maintain awareness that seeing is not believing. This can occur when you look at everyone else’s adventures and begin to feel as though you do not have the best things, have as much fun, or look as good as everyone else. This can extend to your kids or family as well: While it seems as though everyone else’s kids are well-behaved, fun-loving, achievement-driven, or simply charming 100% of the time, we might experience our own kids’ meltdowns and wonder why they cannot behave as we perceive others behaving. Are those parents not having a tough time ever?!

Advertising

Before we get too negative about social media, there are many positives: It is a great place to share and receive information, see what others are up to, and a way to feel part of a group from the comfort of your home or laptop. But, we need to be aware of social media boundaries. That is, being sure to stay connected in your real life without being consumed with your online life and keeping in mind that for most people, they are likely to mostly post the good going on. Just like we need to maintain a buffer when viewing the magazine industry’s constant Photoshop effects, we need to remind ourselves that what we see is not reality, just virtual reality!

Advertising

Advertising

More by this author

Oh So Disconnectedly Connected! The Dark Side of the #Fitspiration Revolution

Trending in Communication

1 How to Live up to Your Full Potential and Succeed in Life 2 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 3 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck 4 Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) 5 Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

Advertising

The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

Advertising

How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

Advertising

There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

Advertising

When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

Read Next