Advertising
Advertising

Creating a Better Impression

Creating a Better Impression
Introduce Yourself

    Sometimes I think I’m the shyest person on the planet. Back in the days when I was interviewing for jobs, I had a sad tendency to work myself into a tizzy about whether I was going to make a good impression. Over the years, I’ve done my best to calm down about introductions, by focusing on what I can do to improve my odds. I’ve found that thinking about what I can do can at least distract me from the worries I might have about a situation.

    Be Human

    Even if a person isn’t shy, a first meeting can be stiff. It can be hard to come up with conversation. It is important, though, to make the effort to relax in these situations. Whether or not you want to worry about impressing your new friend or client, doing it during a conversation makes it even harder to talk. You’ll either make that good impression, or not. Don’t worry about it during the process — that’s what before and after are for.

    Advertising

    Relaxing just a bit can be enough to make you look sure of yourself, as well. It can help you firm up that handshake, which can be the first part of a first impression. If you’re really experiencing some difficulties with being comfortable speaking to people who are essentially strangers, though, the best recommendation I’ve had is to work on my public speaking in general. Groups like Toastmasters can provide a lot of help in improving speaking abilities, as well as just getting people more comfortable with talking in general.

    Think Ahead

    Any pre-planned introduction is a chance for you to make the best possible introduction. It’s also a chance for you to associate yourself with certain ideas. Consider job interviews. For most of the interviews I’ve had, it’s been the first time I’ve met somebody from a particular company. I go in, knowing that I want my interviewer to leave our meeting thinking I’m the best person for the job. So, I make a list of reasons I really am the best person for the job. I take the time to discuss them. If, for instance, I want to show that I have a particular skill, I’ll mention specifics of projects that I’ve worked on, using that skill. I take full advantage of the time I have to plan ahead for a meeting.

    Advertising

    Create Connections

    If you know that you’ll be meeting someone new ahead of time — whether attending meetings or going on a blind date — try thinking of some connections you might have with that person ahead of time. It might be obvious: “Our mutual pal Sarah set us up tonight.” You may have to dig a little deeper, though. Once you’ve got it, though, you already have an automatic conversation ready to go just by asking questions about the connection: “How long have you known Sarah? Let me tell you about how she and I met!”

    Even tangential connections, like rooting for the same local sports team, can give you an edge up in an introduction. Rather than being John Doe who I met at the same party I met fifty other people at, you can be John Doe who I’m going to have to educate about why my team is so much better. It doesn’t seem like much, but it can be enough to guarantee that a person is going to want to rekindle the conversation down the road.

    Advertising

    Dress the Part

    It would be nice if we all went around fresh out of the shower and perfectly dressed. It’s never going to happen, but it would be nice. There’s always the chance that you’ll have a chance meeting in that t-shirt you painted the living room in. That’s just life. However, we do what we can to minimize those situations.

    I’ve tried to eliminate some of those really awful outfits out of my closet — the stuff with unmendable wholes and such. I’ve even managed to mostly make it past the college mentality that it’s okay to wear my pajamas out and about. I’m not saying that we should all throw out those old, beat-up, comfortable clothes — I’m just saying that it’s probably best not to where them while running errands or going out for coffee. Leave the pajamas at home.

    Advertising

    Follow Up

    That great first impression won’t mean anything if you never get the opportunity to make a second impression. It’s up to you to keep in contact, whether you had an interview or just met a person casually. Some situations may be ideal for a thank you note after the fact — but if a thank you note is too formal an email or phone call can work just fine. Make a point of being specific in your follow up: answer questions you may not have been able to respond to during your initial meeting, make a recommendation based on your discussion, or otherwise refer back to your meeting.

    In Conclusion

    Lastly, I’m of the opinion that making a good impression is far more important than making the best impression. While there’s a chance that a person will remember all the great first impressions he’s had over the years, there is an absolute guarantee that he will remember the worst impressions he’s seen. People don’t tell stories about nice people they meet at parties, after all: they start with “You’ll never believe the weirdo I met last week,” and go downhill from there. A lot of risks you might consider for making a lasting impression can easily backfire, so consider carefully if you need to be that far beyond the rest of the pack.

    More by this author

    50 Businesses You Can Start In Your Spare Time 8 Replacements for Google Notebook 5 Sites Where You Can Sell Your Photos 7 Tools to Find Someone Online 19 Entrepreneurship Websites Worth Checking Out

    Trending in Communication

    1 7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive 2 10 Things a Happy Person Does Differently 3 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life’s Challenges 4 41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About 5 The Lifehack Show Episode 3: Why Validation is Key to Lasting Relationships

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on July 16, 2019

    7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

    7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

    Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

    When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

    Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

    Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

    1. Become Grateful for Everything

    When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

    People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

    Advertising

    When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

    We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

    2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

    Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

    Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

    Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

    If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

    Advertising

    3. Help Others

    Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

    Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

    Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

    4. Change Your Thinking

    We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

    The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

    Changing our self-talk is powerful.

    Advertising

    5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

    We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

    As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

    Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

    6. Get into Action

    Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

    Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

    Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

    Advertising

    7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

    You are responsible for your thoughts.

    People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

    Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

    Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

    “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

    More About Positivity

    Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

    Read Next