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How to Create More Meaningful Conversations

How to Create More Meaningful Conversations

As an expert at building rapport with people, I help others create meaningful connection to those that are important to them. Meaningful conversation is a strategy to establish that connection.  So let’s dive into this topic and I will share with you some of the most effective techniques and tips that have proven success.

Big insight:  It’s not really what you say as much as what you feel (and how you make someone feel) in your conversation with them that creates the meaning.

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Here are 8 practical tips to create more meaningful conversation:

1.  Be real:

I always say this to people and am often shocked why they don’t know what I mean.  Just because you are in a certain environment doesn’t always mean you have to communicate in the way the “rules” of that environment dictate.  Every conversation is a connection no matter where you are.  Being real means talking to people with your sleeves up, letting them in and sometimes being a bit more vulnerable (or open to their vulnerability) than you are used to.  This creates an instant connection.

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2.  Always validate:

This is so important when you are communicating with someone and you want to create more meaningful conversation.  Remember, people want to feel heard.  Before you say something, acknowledge everything a person says and receive it.  Not necessarily that you agree with what they said, but that you are taking it in and letting them know it is received, instead of resisted.

3.  Meet people where they are:

You can always steer a conversation later but first appeal to where someone is in the moment.  If you want to create more meaning in your connection, be a bit more flexible in your approach at first.

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4.  Take people on a journey:

Want to know what makes movies, songs and stories meaningful?  It’s the journey.  It’s not always a direct route to where you want to go.  Be open to a process in your conversation.  Take people on a journey with you and be curious about theirs.

5.  Link commonalities:

Every talking point can be an opportunity for you to create meaning by learning that they have similar experiences or sharing with someone a part of you that is like them.  Be careful that you don’t create a tit for tat situation here.   The goal is to establish you are like each other, not to compare your stories with theirs.

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6.  Know your outcome:

That outcome should be to create a connection before any agenda.  Make your life easier by creating strong connections with more meaning so that you don’t have to work so hard to get where you want to go.  Relationships are everything.  Your outcome and your focus are narrowed to this one thing.  It makes everything else easier.

7.  Make people feel special:

You always want to make someone feel like they are different and they are special to you—in some way.  It’s as simple as that.  Share something with them, ask about an experience they are having and praise or comfort them.  This will take you a long way in someone’s heart.

8.  Create transparency in your conversation and be clear:

Always let someone know where you stand.  People respect you more when they know who you are.  When you clarify, people will let their guard down.  When people let their guard down, they are more open to connect to you and then you will both create more meaning in your experience.

Did you relate to this?   Use these techniques in your own life and see what happens.  I would love to hear from you!

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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