Advertising
Advertising

Confessions of a Lazy Blogger

Confessions of a Lazy Blogger

 

Lazy Blogger
    Lazy Blogger

     

    Advertising

     

    When I first started blogging a few years ago, I went through a series of stages that most authors can appreciate.

    Advertising

    • Wow, I’m online!
    • Ok, now what do I say regularly?
    • This is really easy!
    • People are actually reading me?
    • Better check my stats…
    • Better recheck my stats…

    And so it goes. In those early days life was simple and something like blog stats meant a lot to me. I joined a few networks and saw the others as competition. When top 50 productivity lists came out, I felt honored to be among the ranks of 43 Folders and Zen Habits. After all, those are the big dogs, I thought. I Stumbled. I Dugg. I plugged away at Delicious. I posted for LifeHack and others.

    LAZY

    But, as with many things in life, I just got lazy and didn’t really care about so many of those things. Checking my stats became an afterthought. RSS subscribers- if folks showed up, cool. If not, my quality of life was really not affected all that much.

    Advertising

    I even tried an experiment when I went on vacation. I watched my traffic while not posting for a week. Guess what? They were nearly identical to when I was posting like a maniac. I realized that my small fish of a blog was in a very big pond. A humble truth was once again realized.

    TODAY

    So what’s my outlook today? I blog because I can. I have something very unique to discuss with readers- the spirituality of work. Very few other folks are talking about it so I know that I’m filling a void. RSS subscribers are a handy item for job interviews but beyond that, my children’s quality of life is not affected one bit by how many folks are reading TDS in Google Reader. And that’s ok.

    Advertising

    In the big pond of blogs, some small boutique shops can survive. With the right attitude, a unique product and a willingness to be at service to the wider community- The Daily Saint and this humble correspondent will be around for a long time.

    More by this author

    What Grocery Stores Tell Us About Productivity How to Avoid Lengthy Interruptions at Work Withstanding Personal Attack in the Workplace Turning Your Coworkers into Collaborators 6 Factors Besides Salary That Boost Happiness

    Trending in Communication

    1 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place 2 6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak 3 How to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic 4 How to Stop Living on Autopilot with Antonio Neves 5 The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on August 6, 2020

    6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

    6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

    We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

    “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

    Are we speaking the same language?

    My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

    When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

    Am I being lazy?

    When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

    Advertising

    Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

    Early in the relationship:

    “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

    When the relationship is established:

    “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

    It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

    Have I actually got anything to say?

    When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

    A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

    When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

    Am I painting an accurate picture?

    One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

    Advertising

    How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

    Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

    What words am I using?

    It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

    Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

    Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

    Advertising

    Is the map really the territory?

    Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

    A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

    I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

    Read Next