Advertising
Advertising

Banking on Your Being Different: 7 Tips to Stay Away from Isolation

Banking on Your Being Different: 7 Tips to Stay Away from Isolation

Sometimes being too different may lead to sacrificing your social life. You might think that nobody understands you, and because of this, you might become isolated or feel like an outcast. But it doesn’t have to be this way!

There might be several reasons why you are different or considered unique. Maybe you have a different sense of fashion, you are a vegan, you have no family or you have a big family, you are a yogi, you don’t eat pizza, you had cosmetic surgery back when you were young, or you are debt free. Some people won’t understand until you reach out to them, but how do you start the process?

Some Tips on How to Reach Out

One has to deal with other people, maybe not now or tomorrow, but eventually, it will happen. There are lots of ways to do it and the first tip is to stay positive.

Advertising

1. Embrace your differences.

Your eyes may have a different lilt, your nose a different size or your voice a different tone, but you should be the one who should embrace your uniqueness. Never mind that you are being teased for those youthful mistakes you made. Never mind that you look red in a sea of blue people. It means you are unique and interesting.

2. See being different as a learning and teaching opportunity.

There are no little lessons that can’t be learned or can’t be taught. See it as an opportunity to help people. When they ask about your being vegan, explain, but don’t impose. If they ask you why you got a cosmetic procedure, outline your positive reasons.

3. Be your own company.

Never feel isolated–that’s the first thing that will lead to your isolation. If you feel lonely among the crowd, try to entertain yourself. Never retreat right away to any place alone.

Advertising

4. Be curious.

So if you feel alone, why not be the one to reach out? Try to meet or know other people. You aren’t the only one who is different; try to discover the differences in other people. Listen to them and see their beauty from within.

5. Find friends who will understand you.

There are just people in the world that will be able to tolerate your eccentricities and your differences, even though you yourself are not quite the same. They are for keeps.

6. Let people make choices.

When they want to drift away from you, try to reach out first. If it fails, don’t keep a heavy heart. They probably aren’t worth the effort.

Advertising

7. Make being different an advantage.

See famous people today? They are different. They think differently. They stood out, so you should too. You are unique, and that counts more than blending in.

Banking on these Advantages

People who are intrapersonal, strong and intelligent can really evolve into somebody who is interpersonally intelligent. An understanding of yourself can be the key to understanding people better. See these things as a jump-start to you growing and reaching out.

Many of your peers are there, waiting to be reached out to. Sometimes all it takes for you to emancipate yourself from total isolation from the world is a single step. A simple conversation, a useful tip or even a little compliment can never go wrong, as long as the other person is willing to open up too.

Advertising

It may be harder at first but then you will start to realize that who you are can contribute greatly to the world. Anything you do or have–tattoos, lifestyle, beliefs–they are all you. Many may not accept you, but at least give them a try. Reach out.

More by this author

Banking on Your Being Different: 7 Tips to Stay Away from Isolation

Trending in Communication

1 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 2 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 3 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 4 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next