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Banking on Your Being Different: 7 Tips to Stay Away from Isolation

Banking on Your Being Different: 7 Tips to Stay Away from Isolation

Sometimes being too different may lead to sacrificing your social life. You might think that nobody understands you, and because of this, you might become isolated or feel like an outcast. But it doesn’t have to be this way!

There might be several reasons why you are different or considered unique. Maybe you have a different sense of fashion, you are a vegan, you have no family or you have a big family, you are a yogi, you don’t eat pizza, you had cosmetic surgery back when you were young, or you are debt free. Some people won’t understand until you reach out to them, but how do you start the process?

Some Tips on How to Reach Out

One has to deal with other people, maybe not now or tomorrow, but eventually, it will happen. There are lots of ways to do it and the first tip is to stay positive.

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1. Embrace your differences.

Your eyes may have a different lilt, your nose a different size or your voice a different tone, but you should be the one who should embrace your uniqueness. Never mind that you are being teased for those youthful mistakes you made. Never mind that you look red in a sea of blue people. It means you are unique and interesting.

2. See being different as a learning and teaching opportunity.

There are no little lessons that can’t be learned or can’t be taught. See it as an opportunity to help people. When they ask about your being vegan, explain, but don’t impose. If they ask you why you got a cosmetic procedure, outline your positive reasons.

3. Be your own company.

Never feel isolated–that’s the first thing that will lead to your isolation. If you feel lonely among the crowd, try to entertain yourself. Never retreat right away to any place alone.

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4. Be curious.

So if you feel alone, why not be the one to reach out? Try to meet or know other people. You aren’t the only one who is different; try to discover the differences in other people. Listen to them and see their beauty from within.

5. Find friends who will understand you.

There are just people in the world that will be able to tolerate your eccentricities and your differences, even though you yourself are not quite the same. They are for keeps.

6. Let people make choices.

When they want to drift away from you, try to reach out first. If it fails, don’t keep a heavy heart. They probably aren’t worth the effort.

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7. Make being different an advantage.

See famous people today? They are different. They think differently. They stood out, so you should too. You are unique, and that counts more than blending in.

Banking on these Advantages

People who are intrapersonal, strong and intelligent can really evolve into somebody who is interpersonally intelligent. An understanding of yourself can be the key to understanding people better. See these things as a jump-start to you growing and reaching out.

Many of your peers are there, waiting to be reached out to. Sometimes all it takes for you to emancipate yourself from total isolation from the world is a single step. A simple conversation, a useful tip or even a little compliment can never go wrong, as long as the other person is willing to open up too.

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It may be harder at first but then you will start to realize that who you are can contribute greatly to the world. Anything you do or have–tattoos, lifestyle, beliefs–they are all you. Many may not accept you, but at least give them a try. Reach out.

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Banking on Your Being Different: 7 Tips to Stay Away from Isolation

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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