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After I Read This, I Know That There’s No Reason Why I Should Ever Give Up

After I Read This, I Know That There’s No Reason Why I Should Ever Give Up

Giving up always seems to be the right decision. After all, you’ve done your best and for some reason it just was not good enough.

Kampf, the runner in the video, falls flat on her face. Indeed, she has failed. Kampf started the race in the lead and then suddenly she is dead last. Yet, getting up after a major fall is exactly what Kampf did. How many of us would get up after that kind of fall and keep right on running? Here are a few reasons not to throw in the towel after a defeat. Rising up after a fall is:

1. Character Building

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    Thomas Edison once said that it was the 10.000 failures that led to the success of his making the light bulb. When you are able to treat failures as stepping stones to ultimate success you are building a person of character. Treat failures as lessons learned.

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    2. A Test Of Your Abilities

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      Success is little more than trial and error. More often, success comes out of failure, rather than the other way around. It is our ability to fail and keep trying that makes us into the persons we want to become. A test of your abilities to endure the mistake and carry on in spite of it.

      3. An Impact On The World Around You

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        Kampf, the runner in the video, knew that her team depended on her to finish the race. Her strength, courage, and determination impacted her team enormously. It is the same with us. Who is depending on you to keep going?

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        4. Realizing Anything Is Possible

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          Rather than giving up, you may have to rearrange and refocus on your dream. Create a daily and ongoing journal of your short and long term goals. You will gain a sense of how close you are to realizing your goals as you use your journal to teach and guide you toward success.

          5. Success Happens In Its Own Time

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            You just don’t know when the next try will be the goal you’ve always dreamed of. Winston Churchill once said that the key to success is the inability to lose enthusiasm upon failing. That is the type of motivation required to realize your success.

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            6. Believing In Yourself

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              Sometimes it takes believing in yourself when no one else will is what counts in succeeding. The ability to carry on in spite of failure is a lesson all successful people learn.

              7. Learning From Your Mistakes

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                “Happy accidents” are certainly the stuff of life. And when you think about it failure simply becomes a matter of perspective. To put it more simply, failure stops being an option. A goal has been set and the dream must be realized. Mistakes are life lessons that every person should learn from.

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                8. Being True To Yourself

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                  You are the one you have to face in the mirror whether you fail or you succeed. The ‘secret’ to success really is getting up after a fall just like, the runner, Kampf did. Kampf did not hesitate in her failure. It is as if the fall never even happened.

                  9. Having The Courage To Get Back Up

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                    Kampf did not hesitate in her fall, she just got up and kept on running. That is only a part of the lesson to be learned here. It is also the fact that she continued in her race until the absolute finish. It is this courage that we admire in others and should cultivate in our own lives.

                    10. In Not Losing Hope

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                      Of course, there are going to be times when all you want to do is give up. Most of the motivational advice I read declared that as long as you are breathing there is always hope.

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                      Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                      How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                      How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                      For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                      If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                      Example 1

                      You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                      You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                      In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                      Example 2

                      You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                      People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                      You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                      Example 3

                      You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                      The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                      Example 4

                      You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                      Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                      If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                      Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                      • Understand your own communication style
                      • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                      • Communicate with precision and care
                      • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                      1. Understand Your Communication Style

                      To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                      In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                      Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                      2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                      Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                      If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                      “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                      This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                      To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                      3. Exercise Precision and Care

                      A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                      On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                      Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                      I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                      I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                      In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                      The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                      Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                      4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                      Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                      In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                      “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                      Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                      Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                      It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                      It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                      It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                      Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                      Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                      The Bottom Line

                      When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                      I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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                      Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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