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A Shove with Love – A Kickstart to Change.

A Shove with Love – A Kickstart to Change.

Stepping into reality

Thought we might be a little less theoretical and philosophical, and a bit more practical today. Always nice to get out of our head and into reality. We all have behaviours and habits that we need to change and from time to time we all need a little encouragement and support, possibly a vigorous shove, to get under way. So I’m here today to give you a shove. You can relax and feel safe in the knowledge that I am a fully qualified and vastly experienced shover. I have shoved many over my journey, including a few statues who have made the job pretty tough. I know that some of you are career procrastinators who have been about to address certain less-than-desirable habits forever; always at the brink of something life-changing but never quite there. And that some of you have even started (four hundred times) but never actually maintained.

The caring sledgehammer

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    Knowing that many of you are perpetually waiting for the magical and mythical ‘right time’ (it doesn’t exist) and knowing that many of you struggle to create and maintain momentum, I thought that today I might give some of you a shove with love. You may even like it. I’ll be gentle. Gentle like a sledgehammer. A caring sledgehammer.

    Yep, I want you to identify one habit which you really need to change right now. Not soon, now. Not when it suits you, now. Not when you’re comfortable to do so, now. It can be any behaviour which is impacting negatively in some area of your life. It might be about food or exercise, it could be alcohol or drug related, it could have something to do with how you treat yourself or others, it might pertain to work, home or somewhere else. It may have something to do with how you deal with or react to certain situations, circumstances, events or people. It might be about your lifestyle, your finances, your long-term goals or perhaps some other kind of destructive habit (lying, stealing, violence, self-abuse, obsessive behaviours). You know what you need to change.

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    We all want to move from the negative to the positive in our life, that’s why we come to this site. But there needs to come a time when we stop planning, talking and thinking and start doing. Thinking doesn’t create change, doing does. Some of you think too much and do too little. You know it.

    One habit at a time

    The reason I want you to identify one habit (only) for this 28-day project is because the more things we try to change in a short time, the less likely we are to maintain those behaviours (what we want) and create life-long results. By identifying our single most destructive habit and addressing that in a strategic, practical and un-emotional manner, we greatly increase our chances of success. People who try to undo years of bad behaviours and change fifty habits in a short amount of time invariably fail. So let’s do what works.

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      Of course 28 days isn’t a lifetime but it’s enough time for me (and the other readers) to help you generate some momentum, build some enthusiasm and hopefully start to create some new habits, behaviours and attitudes to get you where you want to go over the long term. Of course I can only get you started, and of course, ultimately it all comes back to you. But for some of you, this little project might just be a life-changing process – if YOU make it so.

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      How to get involved.

      Click on the comment thingy and tell me (us) the following.

      1. The habit you’re going to address over the 28 days.
      2. Why it’s necessary for you to change that habit.
      3. Why it will be different this time.

      Keep it short(ish), we don’t need an essay – just the facts, Jack (or Jaclyn). If you are uncomfortable leaving your name then do it anonymously but keep in mind that public declarations can often be an effective way to create and maintain momentum. Name or not – it’s not crucial.

      Okay, stop over-thinking, get off the fence, click on the comment thingy and tell us what amazing things you’re gonna do over the next 28 days.

      Ciao Kids.

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      Craig Harper

      Leading presenter, writer and educator in the areas of high-performance, self-management, personal transformation and more

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      Last Updated on April 8, 2020

      11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

      11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

      We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

      How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

      What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

      1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

      It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

      The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

      2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

      Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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      3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

      Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

      Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

      4. They Know How To Inspire

      Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

      Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

      5. They Set Clear Goals

      The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

      Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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      Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

      6. They Are Organized

      It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

      This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

      Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

      7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

      Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

      But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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      8. They Love Awards

      Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

      While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

      9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

      Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

      The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

      10. They Rest

      Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

      True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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      11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

      A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

      Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

      You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

      More Tips to Help You Achieve Success

      Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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