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9 Things That You Need To Know To Make A Lasting Relationship

9 Things That You Need To Know To Make A Lasting Relationship

Even if you have never been in a serious relationship, chances are that you could easily describe some characteristics of a bad one. However, it becomes a much more daunting task when asked to identify some characteristics of a good relationship. We live in a time when people enter relationships for the wrong reasons and stay in those relationships for reasons that are even more irrational.

Hopefully, with this list of things that describe a good relationship, we can further understand what we need to do to make our next one last.

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1. Both sides are supportive.

Each partner encourages the other to follow his/her dreams. They allow each other to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s okay to be wrong, and each member of the relationship understands and accepts that.

2. Both sides are honest and realistic.

Both people in the relationship tell the truth. They don’t let their feelings build up until they explode, and they share the way they feel about certain situations. While supporting each other’s aspirations, they urge their partner to keep their feet on the ground. They are there to comfort each other when things don’t work out, and they refrain from saying: “I told you so.” Instead, they say: “I’m glad you tried.”

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3. Both sides communicate well.

Both parties are on the same page when it comes to their relationship, their future, and their feelings. “Feelings” can be a silly word and sometimes a silly concept, so each person needs the ability to think logically, even when he or she is overrun with emotion.

4. Both sides are understanding.

Each member of the relationship accepts the other for who he/she is. They realize that people make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. They possess great empathy and are able to see situations from different perspectives. Each person maintains an open mind when it comes to the relationship.

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5. Both sides are independent and confident.

Though they love each other and want to be together, they don’t need to spend every waking moment with their partner. They understand that they must do certain things on their own, and they are confident that they don’t need the other person for everything.

6. Both sides are passionate.

Each member of the relationship has a fire inside of them, both for his/her partner and for interests that reach further than the boundaries of the relationship. It is important that both parties care about things outside of their significant other. Both people must have some type of hobbies or goals to strive for, some of which should have nothing to do with their partners.

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7. Both sides are patient.

Each individual is patient with his/her partner and is patient with him/herself. As I already mentioned, people make mistakes. In a good relationship, partners allow each other to learn from these mistakes. They realize that falling in love is a process and that people are always learning new things about themselves.

8. Both sides feel comfortable.

Each partner is content with the other and open with his/her feelings, fears, and dreams. They understand that being content never hurt anybody. Each person feels safe and protected when with his/her partner, but both members of the relationship are prepared to be pushed once in awhile.

9. Both sides are motivated.

The downfall of a relationship is often complacency. There is nothing wrong with being content, but once a person is content enough to abandon his/her dreams, then the couple needs to make a change. I have already explained how being supportive is important, but a person needs to be motivated to succeed as well. Otherwise, what is there to be supportive about?

Now that we are able to identify the elements of a good relationship, we can do everything in our power to make our next one successful.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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