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9 Things That You Need To Know To Make A Lasting Relationship

9 Things That You Need To Know To Make A Lasting Relationship

Even if you have never been in a serious relationship, chances are that you could easily describe some characteristics of a bad one. However, it becomes a much more daunting task when asked to identify some characteristics of a good relationship. We live in a time when people enter relationships for the wrong reasons and stay in those relationships for reasons that are even more irrational.

Hopefully, with this list of things that describe a good relationship, we can further understand what we need to do to make our next one last.

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1. Both sides are supportive.

Each partner encourages the other to follow his/her dreams. They allow each other to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s okay to be wrong, and each member of the relationship understands and accepts that.

2. Both sides are honest and realistic.

Both people in the relationship tell the truth. They don’t let their feelings build up until they explode, and they share the way they feel about certain situations. While supporting each other’s aspirations, they urge their partner to keep their feet on the ground. They are there to comfort each other when things don’t work out, and they refrain from saying: “I told you so.” Instead, they say: “I’m glad you tried.”

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3. Both sides communicate well.

Both parties are on the same page when it comes to their relationship, their future, and their feelings. “Feelings” can be a silly word and sometimes a silly concept, so each person needs the ability to think logically, even when he or she is overrun with emotion.

4. Both sides are understanding.

Each member of the relationship accepts the other for who he/she is. They realize that people make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. They possess great empathy and are able to see situations from different perspectives. Each person maintains an open mind when it comes to the relationship.

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5. Both sides are independent and confident.

Though they love each other and want to be together, they don’t need to spend every waking moment with their partner. They understand that they must do certain things on their own, and they are confident that they don’t need the other person for everything.

6. Both sides are passionate.

Each member of the relationship has a fire inside of them, both for his/her partner and for interests that reach further than the boundaries of the relationship. It is important that both parties care about things outside of their significant other. Both people must have some type of hobbies or goals to strive for, some of which should have nothing to do with their partners.

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7. Both sides are patient.

Each individual is patient with his/her partner and is patient with him/herself. As I already mentioned, people make mistakes. In a good relationship, partners allow each other to learn from these mistakes. They realize that falling in love is a process and that people are always learning new things about themselves.

8. Both sides feel comfortable.

Each partner is content with the other and open with his/her feelings, fears, and dreams. They understand that being content never hurt anybody. Each person feels safe and protected when with his/her partner, but both members of the relationship are prepared to be pushed once in awhile.

9. Both sides are motivated.

The downfall of a relationship is often complacency. There is nothing wrong with being content, but once a person is content enough to abandon his/her dreams, then the couple needs to make a change. I have already explained how being supportive is important, but a person needs to be motivated to succeed as well. Otherwise, what is there to be supportive about?

Now that we are able to identify the elements of a good relationship, we can do everything in our power to make our next one successful.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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