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8 Ways to Improve Yourself with Writing

8 Ways to Improve Yourself with Writing

We often think of writing as a means to communicate with others. Let’s take a look at writing as a means of focusing our attention on the one person who matters most to us—ourselves.

Know Thyself

Self improvement is a laudable goal, but it must begin with an honest self-assessment. If you have never done such a thing, try beginning now, with a list of everything you can do, use, operate, etc. Start with being able to write, either with pen to paper or type on a keyboard, and include everything, no matter how trivial (use a phone, drive a car, grow plants, etc). You will amaze yourself with the number of skills and abilities you have amassed through the years.

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Take Control

Next, you must learn that there is only one thing in life over which you have complete control: your thinking/attitude. What you think and how you feel about it are inseparable. That means how you perceive yourself is inextricably linked to how you feel about yourself. No matter what others may say about you (or think in their hearts), only you know your true thoughts and feelings. Never let the negative influence of other people rule your own thoughts and feelings.

Make a Road-map

With this in mind, you might consider writing down your goals and plans for the future. Having a clear mental picture of where you want to end up not only provides you with a target to aim for, it also protects you from becoming a SNIOP (Susceptible to the Negative Influence of Other People).

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Unless you are already familiar with the process of crafting your future in words, you might find it helpful to use a set of goal setting and planning tools that have proven useful to others, like those available here, for free. The worksheets and manuals will help you through each stage of your plan, including what you don’t want in your life. Weeding out time wasters, stress and other problems can help you reach your goals faster, and with less effort.

Write Your Way, the Right Way

An unusual and surprisingly effective method of self improvement is called Grapho-Therapy. The creator of this method claims that changing your handwriting can change your life for the better. Since the way you write given letters can reveal character traits and behavioral habits, by changing the way you write “negative” letter shapes, you can change the underlying behavior. It’s not free, but I include it as a tool for you to examine.

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Accounting for Change for the Better

Next, make a budget. That means not only writing down each and every source of income and expenditure you have, it means tracking exactly how much money you have on you at any given time. Many people have been amazed at how they fritter away money by just assuming they have enough on them for this or that little thing they want to buy. Those “little things” can add up to a major sum that could be put to better use. Get into the practice of accounting for the pennies, and the dollars will begin to take care of themselves.

Let Go of the Past

There may be things in your past that still bother you today. Whether it’s a bad encounter with another person or something you did that was less than you could have done, it still haunts you. Try writing a letter of forgiveness, in which you describe, in detail, how you perceive what happened. Then, most importantly, forgive whatever hurt or injury was done to you by others and forgive yourself for not being perfect. You don’t have to send the letter—keep it for yourself and your peace of mind.

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Forge Lasting Connections

Finally, no self improvement efforts will be complete unless you include others in your life. That means starting or continuing a dialogue with those you are close to and those you wish to cultivate as colleagues, mentors, etc. Even if it’s only an occasional email, keep in touch with those you value, and tell them you value them. They, in turn, may surprise you with just the right word, at just the right time, that improves your life in ways you cannot now imagine.

The Ultimate Self-Improvement Tool

Writing can be the best way for you to do the one thing many of us never do: change. Self improvement is as much art as it is science. By documenting all the changes you wish to make, you give yourself a fighting chance to make good on your good intentions.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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