Advertising
Advertising

8 Ways To Switch From A Dreamer To A Doer

8 Ways To Switch From A Dreamer To A Doer

A lot of people can categorize themselves as a dreamer; very few fall into the “doer” category. That’s a shame, because the dreamers are wasting their time thinking what if instead of telling the world what’s what. Their are a few steps they can follow that will get them closer to fulfilling their ambitions. Below are eight ways you can change from a dreamer into a doer.

1. Map out the big picture

A dreamer can’t get anywhere they really want to go without a roadmap to guide them. Draft a detailed plan of what you want to accomplish over the next day, week, month, year, two years, five years and maybe even further. List only accomplishments that are in your power to achieve. Getting a novel published by HarperCollins is not in your power. Finishing a manuscript that you’re happy with is.

Advertising

2. Set reasonable expectations for yourself

Don’t expect to have that novel finished in a month. Even if you’re doing NaMoWriMo, plan to do some heavy, heavy rewriting before it’s ready to show someone else. The key with setting expectations for yourself is hitting that sweet spot where you’re motivated to work quickly and not depressed because you can’t keep up with your self-imposed schedule.

3. Set deadlines

You don’t need to have that novel finished in a month, but you do need to have a fairly specific idea of when you’ll have it done. Even if it’s not up to snuff yet, at least get to the point where you get to write “The End.” You can always, and should always, revise it later.

Advertising

4. Seek out motivators

A dreamer can motivate themselves by surrounding themselves with other motivated people. You’ll be eager compete with their lofty ambitions, which will help you deliver better work faster. If you surround yourself with losers you’ll end up in last place like the rest of them. If your friends are winners then you might become one, too. Continuing the author example, find good writers and associate them as much as possible.

5. Learn new skills

One of the major things holding a dreamer back, other than himself or herself, is their lack of knowledge about the subjects that pertain to their ambitions. Do everything you can do beef up on necessary information for your industry. As Stephen King says, not only does a good writer write; he reads, too. If you’re a writer, read the books like the one that quote is from, On Writing, as well as ones teaching you the fundamentals like The Writer’s Journey and the real deep stuff with something like Story by Robert McKee. There’s likely something equivalent to those masterpieces if you’re on a different career path. Go out find them.

Advertising

6. Get some experience

Just like an aspiring writer benefits from some experience in the publishing industry, so can you benefit by getting your feet wet in your field. If you’re casing a dream career then you’re probably not going to be paid for it right away, and that should be okay with you. A dreamer can’t be a chooser.

7. Pick yourself back up when you’re knocked down

Just like a novelist almost always has at least one manuscript rejected, so should you prepare to fail before you succeed. It’s never really a disaster if you’re learning from the experience and actively improving. You’ve got time to propel yourself to where you want to be, so you shouldn’t expect or need everything to happen right away. If you’re already a doer and not just a dreamer, you should be able to take pride in that alone.

Advertising

8. Know when to let go

While you shouldn’t rush to defeat, neither should you be too slow to wave the white flag. Not every job is for every person, even if it’s in a field that you love. If that becomes clear, you need to accept that your favorite thing might not be the thing you’re best at. You became a doer rather than a dreamer once; you can do it again with something new.

Featured photo credit: dreamer/mehmet nevzat erdoğan via flickr.com

More by this author

Matt OKeefe

Freelance Writer, Marketer

15 Productive Things to Do When Bored (So Time Is Not Wasted) The 10 Best Online Dictionaries 15 Easy Ways For Everyone To Make Money With Social Media 7 Ways To Give Great Feedback This Is What The Cozy Home Designed By 2000 People Looks Like

Trending in Communication

1 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 2 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 3 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever 4 Meditation Can Change Your Life: The Power of Mindfulness 5 Understand Your Love Style & Learn to Love: Co Dependent Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

Advertising

When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

Advertising

I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

Advertising

No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

Advertising

If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

Read Next