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7 Signs You’re A Highly Sensitive Person

7 Signs You’re A Highly Sensitive Person

I grew up in a household where people held their emotions in. I felt ashamed to be such a highly sensitive person but have learnt through the years that there are some incredible traits that go along with it. Maybe as highly sensitive people, we easily feel pain but we also feel a heightened sense of joy and pleasure. We let it all into us and absorb the good, the bad and the ugly. It takes courage to stay sensitive and serves others much more than you’d probably even realize. There are a lot of us out there too: between 15-20% of the population shares this trait. Embrace everything that it is to be a highly sensitive person because it goes deeper than crying at a sad commercial!

1. You Are Highly Sensitive to Other’s Emotions

You are easily able to tell if something is wrong with someone else even if they try to hide it. It’s almost like a super hero power. You have the opportunity to help people open up by bringing what is obvious to you out into the open. This is something people that are less sensitive can’t do. This makes you one of the best kind of friends to have.

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2. You Are Highly Sensitive to Your Surroundings

If there were any danger around, you would likely be the first to know. You can sense what is around you at all times and while this may be overwhelming, you are always in tune with what’s happening around you. You notice things that others may not, such as a lady bug climbing up a flower stem or a special moment between two random people. You see many beautiful things as you observe the world in all of its detail.

3. Criticism Pushes You to Improve

Often highly sensitive people are natural people-pleasers which means any criticism thrown at you could becomes fuel to really change. It’s not easy for a sensitive person to hear that they aren’t doing something correct. This often motivates you to stop doing that action that may be offending someone. You are flexible and it’s easy for you to evolve with whatever negative feedback you receive.

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4. You Have Deeply Felt Emotions

While a highly sensitive person may feel badly much more easily than others, you also have the capacity to feel wonderful. I always equate the opposite of this to a turtle and his shell. He keeps danger out but he also hides himself from the good stuff. You, on the other hand, feel ultimate joy, bliss and peace. You can’t help but feel so you don’t ignore your emotions. If you’re sad, you let it out. If you’re happy, you laugh until your stomach hurts. You don’t suffer from illness or the bad side effects of holding emotions in all the time.

5. You Have Good Manners

A highly sensitive person remembers their please and thank you’s because it means so much to you. It’s a naturally wonderful trait that you have as a sensitive person, to be sensitive to others around them.

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6. You Have a Creative Mind

A highly sensitive person has highly developed senses which often result in an ability to appreciate art, music and culture. You are easily moved and emotionally touched by creative messages, and are often creative yourself in some way.

7. You Are In Touch With Your Emotions

As a highly sensitive person, you let your emotions show as they arrive within. Perhaps on a deeper level, this alleviates stress and anxiety within the body as you release your emotions. This should never be considered a weakness as it takes courage to look at your feelings and deal with them. There may be some that judge you for crying in public. It may make them uncomfortable because it’s something they are unable to do and probably wish they could.

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In conclusion, embrace your sensitive self because it really does take courage and it’s a natural trait, there is no weakness in it. Denying yourself of the true person you are only makes life more difficult and holding things in is almost impossible anyway. Cry when you need to and laugh just as much – be who you are!

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Loraine Couturier

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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