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7 Deadly Mindsets that Hold You Back from Learning Effectively

7 Deadly Mindsets that Hold You Back from Learning Effectively
Learning

In this hyper-competitive global environment, there is no certainty. Only change is certainly there. An honors degree can no longer secure a high paying job for life. As a result, you are constantly going for courses, learning new stuff and upgrading your skills.

This is a fast-paced world after all. You are faced with revolutionary changes and there’s so much to learn. This article will show you some of the dangerous mindsets that hold you back from learning effectively.


1. I’m too old to learn
As you grow older, there is this tiny voice in your head saying, “You are getting old and your brain is getting ‘rusty’”.

It’s true that your brain cells are killed over the years. But look at Albert Einstein, scientists have proved that he had only tapped less than 1 % of his brain’s power. It’s not an excuse to say that you can’t learn because you are too old.

Exercising your brain is like exercising your muscles. When you train your muscles, it gets developed and becomes stronger. The more you do, the more satisfaction you’ll get from the results. This applies to learning too.

If you consistently train your brain to learn new things, you will learn things much faster.

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2. I know everything.
Perhaps you are successful; you have an honors degree or even a master degree. And you assumed that you have learnt everything you need to know.

You believed that you are right and everybody is wrong. You won’t listen to anyone except yourself. Eventually someone is going to be hot on your heels and surpass you sooner or later.

It’s only when you fail would you start to realize that you’ve got to learn again.

3. I’m not smart enough.
You lost your job and you are finding a new one. You have been in a specialized industry for several years. Now it’s time to re-learn from scratch.

You wanted to learn something new, but you are worried that you are not smart enough. And you keep putting it off.

Even before you fight a war, you have surrendered. By thinking negatively, you have lost half the war.
Although you may have started learning, but half way through, you feel that you are not smart enough and give up halfway.

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The truth is that to master a skill, there are many learning curves and obstacles to break through. Maybe you are just a few steps away from mastering the skill.
Think about it, won’t it be a waste to give up halfway?

4. There are many people who are smarter than me.
You are in a class full of young, talented and intelligent professionals. When you looked at the mirror, you felt you are inferior to them.

In terms of learning abilities, these people are more proficient and skillful than you are. You cannot help it but thinking negatively about yourself.

The truth is there is always somebody better than you are. And the only way you will have an edge is through endless and continuous learning. It is your battle, not a battle with others.

5. This is not for me.
I’m sure you have been very enthusiastic when you first picking up something new. You may hit dead ends occasionally but at the start, your enthusiasm has pulled it through.

After a while, you keep going nowhere. You are near the intermediate stage but you are somehow stuck and you can’t advance to the next stage. You saw your friends improving and you are on the plateau. All the fun, excitement and enthusiasm die off.

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Now, you are tired of learning and you want to give up. You said to yourself, “This is not for me”.
The truth is this will be a deadly habit that will hinder your success. Think about it, it’s just an excuse to escape from the fact that you are not confident about yourself and your learning abilities. If you give up learning because it’s not for you, then you will never master anything.

6. Not focus.
Some people have the tendency of learning many things at the same time. One moment they are reading a “how to invest” book, the other they are reading a “how to do ebay”.

If you find yourself distracted, maybe it’s time to focus.

Imagine you are multi tasking, doing many different things at one go – talking on the phone, watching television, doing your work on the laptop. Would you able to do it well?

I doubt so. My advice to you…

Stay focused.

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7. I can learn it another day.
You returned home from a tiring day of heavy workload, stressful working environment and even long hours of office hours.

You have already planned to read another chapter of your book. But you decided to put it off again. In fact, for the past week, you have procrastinated and delayed your lessons or classes.

After a month, you simply forget about it.

The fact is to learn effectively, you got to be disciplined. No matter how tired you are, you have to stick with your plans and deadlines.

Please share some of your learning obstacles and comments about learning effectively.

George Tee is the author of “Secrets Of Scoring ‘A’s” and founder of Learning Nest – Secretsofstudying.com . A few of his popular articles are 5 Hacks That Make Study Simple And Effective, How To Effectively Manage Your Time and How I Excel In My Exams And Emerge Among The Top 53 Students.

More by this author

George Tee

George is the founder of Secrets of Studying. He is devoted in sharing his secrets of learning and growing as an entrepreneur.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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