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50 Things Every Parent Should Give To Their Children

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50 Things Every Parent Should Give To Their Children

There is no profession, no challenge in the world more awesome and more fulfilling than parenthood. It’s exciting, exhilarating, complex, mind-boggling at times, and downright frightening on some days. It involves the lives of precious little ones who bring joy like nothing else can. Parenting creates an automatic legacy that is not highly related to money. What kind of heritage will you leave behind? As you ponder that question, consider 50 things moms and dads should give to their children.

1. Solidarity

Harmonious love from both parents working together on one accord to raise their children and build a strong family connection.

2. Real Love

Give your little girl AND your little boy genuine love, affection, hugs, kisses, and politeness, which covers a multitude of parental bloopers.

3. Bonafide I Love You’s

Your children must know without a doubt that you love them dearly and that you always will even when they are hardheaded and mess up, when they’re disobedient and rebellious.

4. Wisdom Nugget—There Are No Perfect Parents

Accept your imperfections and always be willing to listen, learn, develop and transform.

5. Stability

Provide a stable household atmosphere for your children; even if you must do so as a single parent, it can be done; commit to make it happen—there is help available for you and for them.

6. Security

Give your kids a protective shield that provides them with safety, shelter, food, clothing, medical and dental benefits, educational and social skills keeping them safe and sound, yet not suffocated.

7. Proper Assessments

Censure your children’s actions and behavior by isolating the deed from the doer, working towards solutions by means of discussions and by supplying justifications that explain why their behavior is unacceptable.

8. Fairness, Thoughtfulness, and Discernment

Avoid comparing your children with each other as well as with their peers in a pessimistic way, recognize their differences, do not take sides or fall for their attempts to manipulate you.

9. Open Expression: The Right to Disagree with You and Others

At the appropriate time, teach your children through real life demonstrations that they’re entitled to their own opinion, which must be expressed respectfully and with immediate apologies when they err.

10. Comedy

Wittiness is a product of the whole family environment; consequently, start teaching your children from infancy laughter with your goo-goo baby talk; then later explaining why things are funny, laughing at their jokes, and getting silly to help them develop a sense of humor and become happier, smarter, healthier, confident and better at surviving their challenges.

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11. Chastisement

Discipline your children by clearly explaining and consistently administering well thought out, rational rules, guidelines and punishments for blatant violations.

12. Leadership by Example

Strive to be cool, calm and collected—control your attitude and temper; yelling and screaming simply intimidate children while extinguishing their trust and feelings of safety; be quick to say, “I’m sorry” and mean it.

13. Freedom of Speech

Allow your children to express themselves earnestly and involve them in decision-making processes that directly affect them; thereby, empowering them to think and to make good judgments.

14. Patience and Recognition

When your children are stubborn and disobedient, resolve the issue with less conflict and aggravation for both of you by not forcing their compliance; stop and ask both yourself and your children “Why is this happening?” without overlooking the possible link between biology and behavior.

15. Parental Controls

Set up controls to filter and monitor your children’s Internet usage, report cyber bullying to the appropriate social media network, protect them from online grooming by strangers, make sure they are playing online games appropriate for their age group, and have a talk with them about pornography.

16. Premises of Optimistic Anticipation

Clearly define and kindly remind your sons and daughters what your reasonable expectations of them are—respecting their individuality.

17. Prescriptions

Set up structure and boundaries such as bedtimes and curfews for your children so they don’t grow up out of control, become unwise and struggle as adults with obeying local, state and national laws.

18. Strong Moral Foundation

Teach your kids what is right and what is wrong, trust them and produce an environment where they will quickly come to you with ANY problem or concern.

19. Nutritional Alignment

Inspire an overall healthy lifestyle in your children by providing nutritious meals, and allowing them to express their preferences instead of forcing them to consume your choice of meal entrees.

20. Desire for Physical Activity

Encourage exercise via extracurricular activities like T-Ball, ballet, swimming, track, tennis, and even family exercise routines so that for the children getting active and staying healthy becomes fun and easy.

21. Lessons about Money

When they are of age, teach your children how to count, and budget money, as well as how not to waste their money on consumer goods; but rather give to charity, pay themselves, and put some of it into savings.

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22. The Taste of Life

Refusal to shelter your children is a marvelous gift to give, for it allows them to experience life for themselves, to learn to make intelligent decisions and to face the consequences of THEIR choices.

23. Freedom of Choice

Give your children options; sometimes just make resources available and then let them fashion their own events and activities with your support and guidance, as necessary.

24. Mentorship

Demonstrate your virtues and be an excellent role model for your children; be the kind of person you want them to become.

25. Regard and Concern

Never, ever fight, argue, doggedly disagree and bicker in close proximity of your children.

26. Individualism

Respect your children’s privacy, and generally speaking, refrain from doing for your children the things they’re capable of doing for themselves.

27. Give Your Approval

Applaud your children with frequent acknowledgements, encouragements and validations so they feel prized, treasured and poised for positive thinking, good relationships, constructive imaginations, lessons in determination and resilience in setbacks.

28. Exhortation

Don’t be brief and miserly, give your children frequent, spirited, descriptive high praises and compliments so they will be incited to repeat and improve their performances—give them far more than the flimsy, “Good job!”

29. Conversational Excellence

Offer your children the greatest communication skills you can by employing words and actions that help build in them conviction, integrity, composure, dignity and self-reliance through precepts and examples.

30. Strong Constitution

Give up your gripping fears and worries for greater faith in God, your children, and their well-being.

31. Self-Defense Skills

It’s a great idea for parents to train their children at home and/or enroll them in self-defense or martial arts classes to diminish their fear of bullies and safeguard them from predators, making certain to engage the children in role playing which is critical for stimulating their confidence and personal power.

32. Firm Control

Refusal to let your children have everything they want—say “No” to them more often and follow it up with the reason for saying no or offer them a substitute option.

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33. Education

Assure your children will receive the best possible education at school from the invaluable life skills lessons provided during your time together; assure they develop strong reading skills because the American Academy of Pediatrics calls reading skills “the foundation for children’s academic success.”

34. The Value of Hard Work

Teach your children responsibility by giving them chores followed by an allowance, monetary or non-monetary—an extended curfew, additional play time, or other special privileges—as a return for those jobs well done.

35. Thoughtfulness and Perception

Avoid comparing your children with each other as well as with their peers in a pessimistic way, do not take sides, and for goodness sake, resist their attempts to manipulate you.

36. Self-Assuredness

Give your children a big boost in integrity and autonomy by teaching them to stand up for what they believe in and to take responsibility for their actions, thus supporting their uniqueness and their independence.

37. Prince and Princess Treatment

Make each child believe that he or she is the favorite child—exemplify no partiality which creates low self-esteem, sibling rivalry, disrespect and disharmony in the family unit.

38. The ‘Be True to Yourself’ Lecture

Your children must be trained not to waste their skills and talents trying to be someone else or what others think they should be, for happiness comes from within and true friendship cannot be purchased.

39. Involvement in Their Lives

Take them to a community park, skating rink, a fishing trip, local library, amusement park, museum or a puppetry show; go on a school field trip with them; attend their extracurricular school activities; take them to Sunday School and children’s church.

40. Standard Appointments

Set aside a time to talk to your children individually and equally each day; avoid getting distracted with work, other people or with your cell phone.

41. Honesty

Children take hints from their parents so avoid any kind of deception and DO NOT overreact if your children lie to you; instead, help them understand the importance of telling the truth.

42. A Listening Ear

Pay attention to and respect your children; honor what they want to do with their lives, and don’t weigh them down with rigid, overwhelming demands.

43. Strict Commitment

Make time for your children because they need your presence much more than your presents; give them sincere devotion and be there for the important events in their lives.

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44. Hearts of Thanksgiving

Encourage gratefulness and appreciation for even the smallest act of kindness by expressing gratitude to each other in front of your children, and by thanking them profoundly and excitingly when they bring you a bouquet of weeds or a picture of a stick family with a little heart on it.

45. The Golden Rule

Help your children see that that their words and actions cause other people to be happy or sad, and that they should be kind to other people in the same way they want other people to be kind to them.

46. Liberty from your excess baggage

Together, focus on creating your heartfelt dreams and aspirations rather than empowering fears from your past and entrapping your children in them.

47. Date Night

A Date Night Out strengthens marital and family relationships by offering parents a great opportunity to de-stress, relax, and wound down a bit creating guilt-free balance and wholesomeness; while allowing the children to indulge in developing new friendships and a new kind of pleasure especially if they, too, are removed from the home to a safely supervised, entertaining and fun setting.

48. YOUR BEST Body, Mind, Soul and Spirit

Overcome your vices—alcohol, drugs, gambling, rambling, promiscuity, etc—because they jeopardize your children’s health, character and success.

49. Your Full Support

Help your children cultivate a healthy self-image by implanting a positive mindset in them that they are lovable, capable, and unique so they know that being different is acceptable, and that they DO NOT need to follow the crowd.

50. Individual Person Acknowledgement

Your children are not a replica of you, they are not here for you to relive your life through; but, they are sons and daughters for whom you are accountable to develop and nourish according to their own natural abilities.

Don’t give up! Parenting is a lifelong assignment. Each day try to become a better one.

Featured photo credit: http://www.clearpointcreditcounselingsolutions.org via clearpointcreditcounselingsolutions.org

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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