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Avoid These 5 Things to Make Sure You Aren`t Blowing People Off

Avoid These 5 Things to Make Sure You Aren`t Blowing People Off

In your personal and professional lives, have you ever had someone get angry or annoyed with you, and you couldn’t figure out exactly what you did?  Have you had someone cut off friendly contact with you abruptly, leaving you mystified?  Worst of all, are you completely clueless that you’ve offended someone with whom you had a good relationship?

Life is chaotic.  Sometimes we don’t pay enough attention to our relationships, and we unknowingly do things that sabotage them.  We leave people thinking that we don’t care about them, when the truth is we’re just busy, forgetful, or, as Jennifer Aniston once said, “missing a sensitivity chip.”

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Take a step back for a moment and assess if you’re guilty of any of these five blow-offs with your family, friends, co-workers, or business associates.  And if you are, please consider changing your behavior.  Even if the relationship isn’t important to you now, it’s the right thing for a good human being to do.

Texting instead of calling

When someone calls you to say hello and catch up, do you text them back a one-liner?  This is fine if you can’t talk right away and plan to give them a ring later, but a text does not totally replace a phone call.  The person is going to think you don’t want to talk to them.

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Getting cozy only when you need someone

I’ve had this happen to me countless times since I stopped writing my Wall Street Journal column.  Business associates would establish a chummy relationship with me, and I’d think we were friends only to have them blow off my calls and e-mails once they couldn’t take advantage of my high visibility position.  This type of behavior is obvious and makes you look very bad.

Turning down plans and never suggesting an alternative date

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    Some people are happy to sit back and let others do the work in their relationships.  However, you cross a line when someone repeatedly asks you to get together and you decline, never attempting to see what else might work.  Do this a few times and the person will think you don’t like them – and eventually won’t like you back.

    Forgetting to respond to e-mails and ignoring escalation attempts

    Maybe you are one of those people who is just not great about e-mail.  You have other priorities, I get it.  Please realize though, that when you are trying to get something done, having the other person refuse to answer you after multiple attempts is the most annoying thing in the world.

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    Not paying attention to who you invite to things

    Whether you are planning a personal or work-related event, guest lists are political.  Especially in this era of Facebook and Evite, when we can all see who’s invited and who attended, you should make clear delineations (i.e. all team members or no team members).  For example, don’t inadvertently invite 7 of your 8 co-workers to happy hour and then post the pics.

    Nine times out of ten, if you do one of these things you will never find out about it because most aren’t confrontation-worthy behaviors, and the other person may feel too hurt, rejected, or put-off to address them with you anyway.  So all I’m asking is that you put a little thought into your interpersonal actions.

    What other ways do people blow others off without realizing it?

    (Photo credit: Portrait of beautiful young woman covering her ears with hands via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on July 3, 2020

    30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

    30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

    In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

    1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

    Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

    2. Focus on your breath

    Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

    3. Get organized and purge old items

    A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

    4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

    Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

    5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

    Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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    6. Smile more

    Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

    7. Don’t worry about the future

    As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

    8. Eat real food

    The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

    9. Choose being happy over being right

    Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

    10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

    Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

    11. Make use of filtering features on social media

    You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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    12. Get comfortable with silence

    When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

    13. Listen to understand, not to respond

    So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

    14. Put your troubles in a bubble

    Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

    15. Speak more slowly

    Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

    16. Don’t procrastinate

    Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

    17. Buy a coloring book

    Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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    18. Prioritize yourself

    You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

    19. Forgive others

    Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

    20. Check your expectations

    Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

    21. Engage in active play

    Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

    22. Stop criticizing yourself

    The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

    23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

    Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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    24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

    Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

    25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

    Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

    26. Manage your money

    Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

    27. Stop trying to control everything

    Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

    28. Practice affirmations

    Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

    29. Get up before sunrise

    Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

    30. Be yourself

    Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

    Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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