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5 Ways to Instantly Rid Yourself of Needless Worry

5 Ways to Instantly Rid Yourself of Needless Worry

A while back, I had a great day and everything was going exactly as I wanted. I was meeting tons of new people and everything was amazing, I felt like I’ve accomplished a lot. Then suddenly, like an unexpected swift jab, someone made a small remark about me. I felt hurt and the worry began flowing in.

Looking back, I don’t even remember what was said. Maybe it had something to do with what I said, or how I said it. The point is it bothered me for hours on end and I was fixating on this comment wondering why they had felt this way.

Why didn’t this person like me? I let this thought linger over my head, despite all the great things that happened that day. Sometimes, there are just tiny things that stick with me, even though I usually am incredible at being resilient and great at enjoying the little things.

Today I felt worried again. A few people didn’t laugh at my jokes. Suddenly, I felt the need to impress them, show them how awesome I am. Another thing from today, someone gestured in my direction then chuckled to his friends. I think he was talking badly about me, oh no. I should say something out loud, flouting my social proof.

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Then I remembered several things. I remembered my mental toolbox of tricks I use to snap myself out of this pointless worry. I applied all the big guns in my head to rid myself of my imaginary tormenter. I was free again.

Over the years, I’ve developed so many mental reminders and belief systems that help me get rid of these worries that seem to come from nowhere, the ones that don’t matter but still seem to hold on to you and drag you down. I want to share these with you.

Stop Trying to Win Others’ Approval

It just isn’t possible to get everyone to like you. Trust me, I’ve tried. This only leads to disappointment on a daily basis, since you can’t possibly live up to the entire world’s expectations.

Here’s a new goal for you instead if you really want to eradicate worry and unhappiness from your life. Focus on what you think of yourself. Who cares what that stranger thinks? If you’re happy with who you are and you know what flaws you should fix then forget about the world. Life is bigger than trying to look awesome; life is about actually being awesome.

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Think, Will It Really Bother You Later?

The first thing I ask myself is, will this negative thought impact me in the future at all? Is it going to decrease my quality of life somehow? More often than not, it’s just something I’ll soon forget about anyways.

So I put myself into the future by a couple days and envision myself. In this vision, I realize that I won’t be bothered by something so miniscule and I most likely wouldn’t even remember it. A lot of times, just the idea of it fleeting away very soon is enough for me to block out these intrusions.

Will I even remember whom it was I was trying to impress? Most likely I won’t remember. Did I remember who made a small negative comment and what it was even about? Nope. Mental toolbox says to take you out of my head and prioritize you at the lowest possible, so I do.

Reflect on How Amazing You Are

When I feel like I’m inadequate based on the need for approval from others, I begin to reflect on my achievements. I think about how much I’ve improved in the past year. I’ve met amazing people, developed active listening skills, and started something I’ve been contemplating for the past two years.

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Looking further back, I transformed from a socially awkward kid to a socially awesome extrovert. All thanks to mental hacks that I consciously yield. I was blessed with true fortunes that others do not have; I was blessed with the gift of self-improvement.

Write

Write anywhere you can, whether it’s in a blog, in your journal, or on a post-it note that you can toss dramatically into the ocean (factor in air resistance). Get those worries out onto paper. Look at it, assess its importance, then shred it, burn it, or toss it into the ocean like I just said.

You can then look back at that paper you just destroyed and laugh at how ridiculous you were being. Who cares if that lady looked at you weird? Who cares that someone may have noticed mustard stains on your pristine white sneakers? Write all of that, then destroy it.

Reflect on Life’s Briefness

Finally, just reflect on how short life is; focus on how life is constantly fleeting. Do you really want to spend what little time you have on this beautiful earth worrying about something you won’t even remember by next week? Don’t be silly, get out there and enjoy life. You’ve got it pretty good, I’d bet. Don’t waste it on needless worry.

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More by this author

Vincent Nguyen

Founder of Growth Ninja

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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