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Make Your Words Count: 5 Tips on How to Negotiate at the Office

Make Your Words Count: 5 Tips on How to Negotiate at the Office

Whether you work from the comfort of your home office, or in a cubical 50 floors above the street, there’s one thing that you’ll never be able to avoid—negotiating.

There are some people that love the art of negotiation. Some even live for it. They thrive on the excitement, elevated blood pressure and adrenal rush that comes with the “search for agreement” that negotiations represent. I’m sure you’ve met these competitive types before: they almost always have the last word; they’re on the aggressive side of normal; they send back their salad because there weren’t enough croutons.

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Then there are they rest of us. We avoid negotiation, not because we’re scared, but because it’s so awfully close to an argument…okay, maybe we’re just the slightest bit scared. Or, rather, lets call it “out of our comfort zone,” instead of scared—that’s much more civil.

Regardless of how it you makes feel, negotiating is a skill that every business person needs—from the CEO to the temp secretary.  And when it comes to negotiating, it all about the words you choose and how you put them together. Literary types call that “diction.” We’re just gonna call it “owning it.”

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Here are some words and phrases to avoid when it’s your turn at the table.

“Somewhere In-Between”

9 times out of 10, negotiations are about one of two things: money, or time, and there’s a good chance that you’ll be talking about both simultaneously at one point or another.  Since both deal with what statisticians call “continuous variables,” meaning that they can go on forever, theoretically, you can discuss them in the same way. For example: let’s say you tell an employee or outside contractor that you need a job done “somewhere between 3 and 5 days from now.” Right from the start, you’re fighting against yourself by giving them two points to choose from, and showing them that you’re indecisive, which can be read as being a pushover. Not only that, but you’re almost always guaranteed to to end up waiting for the date furthest away, or if you’re talking money, paying the higher price.

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Ready, Aim, Raise…

…but it’s important not to aim too high. When your negotiation is centered on money—a salary or raise, for example—I find that it’s best to shoot first, aim high, and ask questions later. I know, I’m using a lot of gun metaphors—forgive me. There’s a reason (for the shooting first, not really for the metaphors) that you want to beat them to the punch: whatever number is thrown out first is the number that both partied focus on —it becomes a kind of anchor for the negotiation, and the price/raise/what-have-you is generally closer to that anchor than not.

“The Buck Stops Here”

First of all, no-one says that anymore. That phrase, which is roughly equivalent to saying “I’m the boss,” not only sounds ridiculous when thrown into a negotiation, but it also leaves you backed into a corner. Depending on whom you are negotiating with, the information that you ultimately make the decisions can help them force you into answering a question or signing a deal when you aren’t quite ready to do so.

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Keeping Calm (“Are We There Yet?”)

No matter what the negotiation is about, the party that comes out on top is usually the one who is the calmest. That means no looking at the clock, no complaining that “this is taking too long,” and please, take it easy to the bathroom breaks. You always want to seem like you have all the time in the world. Remember that the point of a negotiation is to get what you want out of the deal, not to end the negotiation as soon as possible.

Keeping Cool Reprise

Obviously, you should enter every negotiation with a cool head, and try to keep it cool throughout the proceedings. If you’ve seen any police procedural or lawyer drama, you’ll know that getting your counterpart’s blood hot is one of the easiest and fastest ways to get what you want. Don’t fall into the trap: you’re better than that.

Featured photo credit:  Attractive Blond Young Woman With A Telephone Headset via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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