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5 Tips For Dating An Introvert

5 Tips For Dating An Introvert

You may have never stopped and considered the temperament of the people around you. And if you’re an outgoing extrovert, it may be especially challenging to rationalize with the softly spoken, quiet relative of extroversion. Introversion is not simply shyness; it’s a more complex set of preferences in which the individual tends to extract more reward from intimate social interactions and small groups. Dating an introvert is simple, as long as you’re aware of the characteristics of your introverted partner.

1. Forget about the social stigma surrounding introversion.

Many people tend to think that introversion is a negative quality; it’s often associated with quiet, hard-to-talk-to individuals. This is incredibly inaccurate. Introverts are very easy people to talk to, especially in the proper setting. In fact, people are often drawn towards introverts to have conversations about personal experiences and events they’ve experienced. This is because introverts are typically great listeners. The point here is to forget about introversion as a defining characteristic with a negative connotation. Introverts can do very extroverted things, sometimes better than extroverts. The difference is, the introverted person may need time to recharge.

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2. Find a balance between your need for socializing and your partner’s need for solitude.

One of the largest challenges that an introvert-extrovert couple can have is striking a balance between socializing and alone time. This is especially true if your introverted partner works a job that is mentally demanding and requires a significant amount of socializing with clients and customers during the workday. If the demand for mental capacity to socialize exists at work and at home, five or six days a week, your partner can never find the time to recharge.

Appreciate the fact that your partner may not have the energy and desire to entertain and socialize constantly with friends and family. Recognize that this is not anti-social behavior. The need for intimacy or human interaction is present in both personality types. It has been found by psychologists that people who tend to value intimacy highly are people with a smaller circle of friends who prefer sincerity as opposed to parties.

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3. Do activities that value the traits and capabilities of your introverted partner.

This can really be anything; however, a few activities come to mind immediately. Introverts are extremely good listeners and can offer advice that is genuine and sincere. This becomes apparent in a smaller gathering or one-on-one sessions. Instead of a massive, once-a-month dinner party, perhaps more frequent, smaller gatherings would help ease the pressure.

Reading is also a great activity that couples can do together on a Sunday afternoon. You can explore the endless realm of books and imagination in your own minds, but also enjoy the warmth of your partner simultaneously.

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4. Experiment with conflict resolution.

In conflict resolution, many introverts try to minimize aggression, while extroverts typically raise their voice as they become more engaged in finding a resolution. The more the extrovert raises his/her voice, the more the introvert is likely to retreat in an attempt to minimize aggression. I think this cycle is understandable because no one likes to feel dominated, but at the same time, the extrovert doesn’t want to feel disrespected because it appears his/her partner doesn’t seem to care about the conflict. The solution: Perhaps the extrovert needs to approach the conflict with calmness and a mild manner, whereas the introvert needs to become comfortable with disharmony.

5. Read the non-fiction book Quiet by Susan Cain.

You and your partner should read Quiet. It’s an excellent read that is full of actionable advice for couples and people of both personality types. Prior to reading, watch the TED Talk given by Susan Cain, which provides a good idea of the subjects covered in the book: Susan Cain: The power of introverts.

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Are you in an introvert-extrovert relationship? Feel free to share your tips for making it work in the comments below.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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