Advertising
Advertising

5 Tips For Dating An Introvert

5 Tips For Dating An Introvert

You may have never stopped and considered the temperament of the people around you. And if you’re an outgoing extrovert, it may be especially challenging to rationalize with the softly spoken, quiet relative of extroversion. Introversion is not simply shyness; it’s a more complex set of preferences in which the individual tends to extract more reward from intimate social interactions and small groups. Dating an introvert is simple, as long as you’re aware of the characteristics of your introverted partner.

1. Forget about the social stigma surrounding introversion.

Many people tend to think that introversion is a negative quality; it’s often associated with quiet, hard-to-talk-to individuals. This is incredibly inaccurate. Introverts are very easy people to talk to, especially in the proper setting. In fact, people are often drawn towards introverts to have conversations about personal experiences and events they’ve experienced. This is because introverts are typically great listeners. The point here is to forget about introversion as a defining characteristic with a negative connotation. Introverts can do very extroverted things, sometimes better than extroverts. The difference is, the introverted person may need time to recharge.

Advertising

2. Find a balance between your need for socializing and your partner’s need for solitude.

One of the largest challenges that an introvert-extrovert couple can have is striking a balance between socializing and alone time. This is especially true if your introverted partner works a job that is mentally demanding and requires a significant amount of socializing with clients and customers during the workday. If the demand for mental capacity to socialize exists at work and at home, five or six days a week, your partner can never find the time to recharge.

Appreciate the fact that your partner may not have the energy and desire to entertain and socialize constantly with friends and family. Recognize that this is not anti-social behavior. The need for intimacy or human interaction is present in both personality types. It has been found by psychologists that people who tend to value intimacy highly are people with a smaller circle of friends who prefer sincerity as opposed to parties.

Advertising

3. Do activities that value the traits and capabilities of your introverted partner.

This can really be anything; however, a few activities come to mind immediately. Introverts are extremely good listeners and can offer advice that is genuine and sincere. This becomes apparent in a smaller gathering or one-on-one sessions. Instead of a massive, once-a-month dinner party, perhaps more frequent, smaller gatherings would help ease the pressure.

Reading is also a great activity that couples can do together on a Sunday afternoon. You can explore the endless realm of books and imagination in your own minds, but also enjoy the warmth of your partner simultaneously.

Advertising

4. Experiment with conflict resolution.

In conflict resolution, many introverts try to minimize aggression, while extroverts typically raise their voice as they become more engaged in finding a resolution. The more the extrovert raises his/her voice, the more the introvert is likely to retreat in an attempt to minimize aggression. I think this cycle is understandable because no one likes to feel dominated, but at the same time, the extrovert doesn’t want to feel disrespected because it appears his/her partner doesn’t seem to care about the conflict. The solution: Perhaps the extrovert needs to approach the conflict with calmness and a mild manner, whereas the introvert needs to become comfortable with disharmony.

5. Read the non-fiction book Quiet by Susan Cain.

You and your partner should read Quiet. It’s an excellent read that is full of actionable advice for couples and people of both personality types. Prior to reading, watch the TED Talk given by Susan Cain, which provides a good idea of the subjects covered in the book: Susan Cain: The power of introverts.

Advertising

Are you in an introvert-extrovert relationship? Feel free to share your tips for making it work in the comments below.

More by this author

7 Awesome Tips About Presentation Your Teacher Wouldn’t Tell You 5 Tips For Dating An Introvert

Trending in Communication

1 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 2 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck 3 Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) 4 Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max 5 How To Stop Insecure Attachment from Wreaking Havoc on Your Love Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

Advertising

The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

Advertising

How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

Advertising

There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

Advertising

When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

Read Next