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5 Things Optimists Do Differently

5 Things Optimists Do Differently

Optimists are known to be healthier, happier and more successful people than their negative counterparts. The basic reason for this is that their emotions help them to think positively, and they have more encouragement and motivation to move forward and deal with their daily struggles.

These optimists don’t let a single mess or a small setback ruin their day.

Being an optimist sounds ideal, don’t you think? Is it possible for you to join the circle of optimists all over the world?

Sure, it is! You’re given the chance to learn how to be one–optimism is not an inborn trait, after all. You can start by knowing how to do these 5 things differently.

1. Optimists know that you don’t necessarily need to achieve something in order to be truly happy.

Happiness comes from within. It’s a conscious decision that you need to make, whether or not things are going the way you want them to.

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If you provide a condition to your happiness, like you’ll only be happy if you’re able to achieve something, then what happens if that condition isn’t met?

Success isn’t a guaranteed factor. If you equate happiness with success, you may be happy, but this happiness stops the minute you start failing.

Give yourself the power to be committed to being happy by adapting a grateful outlook in life. 

2. They avoid negative people and refrain from encountering bad vibes.

Optimists are well aware that being negative and being positive are both contagious. So, for them to create an optimistic environment, they stay away from grouchy people who always complain.

Instead, they nourish relationships with emotionally supportive and equally optimistic people. They know that life is too short to spend with people who don’t really value them, so they choose to spend it with people who do realize their worth.

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3. Optimists respect themselves and their time.

In a way, optimistic people are like wild and brave souls–they are confident that they don’t need the approval of anyone else in order to live their lives. Positive people know that people will always judge them with whatever they do, so why bother pleasing people when it’s obvious that you can never please everyone every single time?

Optimists even have the courage and the confidence to say no to things that don’t really matter to them. They’re not pressured into doing something that they don’t really like, and they’re free to pursue their passion accordingly.

4. Optimists are resourceful people.

Successful entrepreneurs and optimists are both innovative and creative individuals. They know that they’re never going to have everything that they need, so they make do with what they have instead.

– Steve Jobs didn’t wallow in fear when he didn’t have enough money to fund his startup: he sold his only means of transportation, his VW Microbus, to finance it.

– Walt Disney didn’t go into severe depression when he was told that Mickey Mouse is a “giant mouse on the screen that would terrify women”; he pushed through and look at how famous and well-loved Mickey is today.

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– Donald Trump was bankrupt four times (in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009) but his resourcefulness and innovation gave him a $2.7 billion net worth today.

5. They know that life is not fair–and they’re okay with that.

Most people feel grumpy, frustrated or disappointed because they expect life to be fair for everyone.

Why does Justin Bieber have a lot of haters? Because a lot of people don’t like the fact that he gets millions just by performing and doing his hair flips regularly.

Why are there a lot of complainers all over the world? Because they feel that they’re self-entitled to everything that their neighbors have.

Why are there crime scenes? Because people feel like they’re not given equal treatment (such as equal money with the rest of the society), they should just go ahead and make things equal. By taking the matter into their own hands, they commit crimes instead.

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Optimists are not like these people. They know that life is never going to be easy–it’s never fair and it’s never predictable. In fact, they expect life to be unfair and unpredictable most of the time! They accept the fact that their friends may be given more money, that some celebrities are given more fame, and that some of their loved ones are more successful in terms of romance.

And you know what?

They’re okay with that.

More by this author

Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya

Lianne is a licensed financial advisor, Registered Financial Planner, entrepreneur and book author.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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