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5 Simple Techniques For Building Instant Rapport

5 Simple Techniques For Building Instant Rapport

“Connecting with people is so difficult.”

Those were the words I heard escape the lips of my once close friend from school. It seemed odd since this fellow didn’t exactly seem like the type to have issues connecting with people. If I recall correctly, in school, he seemed to get along just fine with those around him.

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However, I couldn’t resist doing a small analysis of his situation, asking him questions about his routine and dating life. After some sleuthing around, it struck me that he actually was having a problem connecting with people, or should I say, building rapport.

Aside from what he was telling me, I also noticed a few things about his demeanor and appearance that seemed to portray the wrong message. The signals he sent out were not the kind someone would respond to, let alone respond at all. He had no idea how these simple mistakes was affecting his ability to actually be approached and why approaching people wasn’t working out well for him.

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Here are 5 simple techniques for building instant rapport with anyone you meet.

1. Don’t Cross Your Arms When Speaking To Someone.

This may not seem like a big deal but crossing of the arms in psychological and legal analysis represents a certain type of defense or closing up. Generally, someone who folds their arms appear to be shielding themselves physically and emotionally from the outside world and other people. When building rapport, it’s best to keep your arms to your side and to depict a sense of comfort and receptiveness.

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2. Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a sign of confidence and interest. When you make eye contact, you’re engaging more than one of your senses in the conversation which makes building rapport easier. It’s more of a skill, the more you practice, the better you get at maintaining eye contact with people you meet.

3. Use The Person’s Name

Okay so you don’t have to say their name every single minute but throw it in a few times during the conversation because this subconsciously registers that you are speaking directly to him/her. This is an important part of building rapport.  Have you ever noticed how a salesman asks your name before actually hitting you with his proposal? Use this simple technique when having a conversation with someone to build an immediate connection.

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4. The Smile and Handshake

It’s easy to forget to smile when you’re feeling nervous and shy. It’s quite okay to feel nervous but don’t let that hinder you from smiling. You want people to be attracted to the happy aura you possess – it’s a great way of connecting with people. Practice smiling, it need not be ear to ear, just a small friendly smile. Apart from a smile, physical contact is another well known means of building rapport – make sure to engage in a formal yet friendly handshake, keep it short and sweet.

5. Be Genuine and Honest

One of the best things you could ever do when trying to connect with someone is to be be genuine. Don’t put on a fake smile, don’t fake a good mood, don’t give a fake compliment, let the things you say and do be real and honest. Honesty is the key to building any good connection and relationship – achieve that by being as genuine as possible.Pay someone a real compliment, have good intentions and you’ll find that building rapport will be much easier.

The key to good rapport is to identify with someone, open yourself up to being approached and approachable, portray a friendly demeanor listen for potential follow up questions in conversation and you’ll be sure to connect with people easier. Try to draw on similarities, choose to approach people You identify as relate-able but most of all, allow it to be a fun and great experience.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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