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5 Simple Techniques For Building Instant Rapport

5 Simple Techniques For Building Instant Rapport

“Connecting with people is so difficult.”

Those were the words I heard escape the lips of my once close friend from school. It seemed odd since this fellow didn’t exactly seem like the type to have issues connecting with people. If I recall correctly, in school, he seemed to get along just fine with those around him.

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However, I couldn’t resist doing a small analysis of his situation, asking him questions about his routine and dating life. After some sleuthing around, it struck me that he actually was having a problem connecting with people, or should I say, building rapport.

Aside from what he was telling me, I also noticed a few things about his demeanor and appearance that seemed to portray the wrong message. The signals he sent out were not the kind someone would respond to, let alone respond at all. He had no idea how these simple mistakes was affecting his ability to actually be approached and why approaching people wasn’t working out well for him.

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Here are 5 simple techniques for building instant rapport with anyone you meet.

1. Don’t Cross Your Arms When Speaking To Someone.

This may not seem like a big deal but crossing of the arms in psychological and legal analysis represents a certain type of defense or closing up. Generally, someone who folds their arms appear to be shielding themselves physically and emotionally from the outside world and other people. When building rapport, it’s best to keep your arms to your side and to depict a sense of comfort and receptiveness.

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2. Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a sign of confidence and interest. When you make eye contact, you’re engaging more than one of your senses in the conversation which makes building rapport easier. It’s more of a skill, the more you practice, the better you get at maintaining eye contact with people you meet.

3. Use The Person’s Name

Okay so you don’t have to say their name every single minute but throw it in a few times during the conversation because this subconsciously registers that you are speaking directly to him/her. This is an important part of building rapport.  Have you ever noticed how a salesman asks your name before actually hitting you with his proposal? Use this simple technique when having a conversation with someone to build an immediate connection.

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4. The Smile and Handshake

It’s easy to forget to smile when you’re feeling nervous and shy. It’s quite okay to feel nervous but don’t let that hinder you from smiling. You want people to be attracted to the happy aura you possess – it’s a great way of connecting with people. Practice smiling, it need not be ear to ear, just a small friendly smile. Apart from a smile, physical contact is another well known means of building rapport – make sure to engage in a formal yet friendly handshake, keep it short and sweet.

5. Be Genuine and Honest

One of the best things you could ever do when trying to connect with someone is to be be genuine. Don’t put on a fake smile, don’t fake a good mood, don’t give a fake compliment, let the things you say and do be real and honest. Honesty is the key to building any good connection and relationship – achieve that by being as genuine as possible.Pay someone a real compliment, have good intentions and you’ll find that building rapport will be much easier.

The key to good rapport is to identify with someone, open yourself up to being approached and approachable, portray a friendly demeanor listen for potential follow up questions in conversation and you’ll be sure to connect with people easier. Try to draw on similarities, choose to approach people You identify as relate-able but most of all, allow it to be a fun and great experience.

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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