“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
Einstein. Gandhi. Buffet. Want to know what these three great minds have in common?Advertising
They’re all introverts.
As all introverts know, extroversion is an ideal that’s celebrated and revered in our society. It starts at a young age, too. Susan Cain, in her novel Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, says:
“If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell”—that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.”
Surely Ms. Cain is onto something there, when you consider that some of the greatest leaders in the history of mankind have been introverts. Introverts are often misunderstood. And not all leaders should be brash, loud, and charismatic. The world also needs leaders who show poise; exhibit great listening skills; analyze complex situations before making a decision; and exude calm in times of conflict.
Here are 5 tips any introvert can use to become a better leader.
1. Listen first, talk second.
This is something that comes naturally to introverts, and it’s an oft-underutilized skill in the business world. One key to being viewed as a respected leader is to actively listen to your friends/clients/followers and then provide guidance and answers. According to Susan Cain, “There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”Advertising
2. Step up during times of crisis.
Crises, both at home and at work, are a part of life. It’s how you respond to these moments of adversity that matter. So step up and be the “voice of reason” when bad stuff happens. Where others might see a crisis, introverted leaders see an opportunity.
3. Get out of your comfort zone.
As an introvert, you are likely more comfortable working alone than with people. You may not like to speak in front of groups. But the reality is, these are things that all great leaders need to do sometimes. So force yourself to participate in “small talk” once in a while, even if you think it’s useless. Take a public speaking class. Volunteer to take the lead on a new project at work that you may not know much about. Work on getting a little better at the things you’re not particularly great at each week.
4. Get into your comfort zone.
Introverts spend a lot of time in their own heads. And we need this time. It’s how we recharge, reflect, and come up with great ideas. So set time aside every single day. Even if it’s 15 minutes. Find somewhere quiet to sit down and just breathe. Let the thoughts flow through your head like clouds. And when you’re done, jot down any new ideas that came to mind, which leads to our next tip.Advertising
5. Write it down.
Introverts tend to be better at writing than speaking. That’s why you should put your ideas down on paper before you speak about them. And here’s a tip for making your key points “stick”, whether it’s during a business meeting or after speaking at a conference: leave them with something. Create a simple 1- or 2-page document summing up your salient points, answering anticipated questions and objections, and offering to answer any additional questions.
So you’ll probably notice a trend with most of these leadership tips. Most of them come naturally to introverts. So utilize your strengths. Acknowledge, accept and improve upon your weaknesses. And always remember this:
“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
Last Updated on January 18, 2019
7 Ways To Deal With Negative People
Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.
But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.
1. Limit the time you spend with them.
First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.
In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.
Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.
2. Speak up for yourself.
Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.
3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”
This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.
But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.
4. Don’t make their problems your problems.
Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.
This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.
Why else would they be sharing this with you?
5. Change the subject.
When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.
Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.
6. Talk about solutions, not problems.
Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.
I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.
You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”
Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.
7. Leave them behind.
Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.
If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.
That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.
You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.