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5 Self Esteem Hacks You Can Use Now

5 Self Esteem Hacks You Can Use Now

You see it every day on your newsfeed, and you probably don’t even question it—by now, it comes as no surprise. The popularity of Facebook has caused a shift in how people perceive themselves; the “like” button has become nothing more than a a self-esteem booster;  a way for people who are low in self-esteem to get a quick fix of validation if they’re feeling low.

Can you see how this can be problematic?

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What’s important is to develop high self-esteem from within, because then, you’re in total control of it, and the effects will be permanent. Developing high self-esteem can (and should) take years and years to develop, but there are shortcuts or, as I like to call them, “hacks” you can use to develop it no time at all. If you practice these 5 hacks on a consistent, daily basis, you’ll notice a difference in your self-esteem in no time at all. In fact, research argues that it only takes 66 days (Lally, Cornelia: 2009), so be sure to commit to it.

Liz Seda did a terrific job in her article “3 ways to permanently increase your self-esteem” and I thought I would elaborate on it with a few more.

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1. Learn to Love Yourself

This isn’t about egoism; you’re not arrogant if you love yourself. In fact, arrogance is often the foundation of low self-esteem and insecurity. Try this exercise: stand in front of the mirror (full length if possible) and tell your reflection everything you love about yourself. Accept what you don’t like about yourself (it may still be something you CAN change) and repeat this exercise either every morning or evening (but be sure to do it in private!). This may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve never done it before, but change often does.

2. Condition a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA)

Do you socialise with negative people? If so, consider finding new friends. This may seem unfair, but those negative people will simply re-enforce what you don’t like about yourself. People like to socialise with happy, positive people. The reason I wrote condition is because it takes A LOT of practice to be positive. I hate when people say “be positive” because it’s like saying to a struggling business “be affluent”—there’s no strategy, and you always need a stratergy if you want to learn how to hone a skill. Condition a PMA by trying to see the good in every bad situation you encounter. If you look hard enough, you’ll always find one.

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3. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

The happiest people in life are the ones that look at what they have, not what they don’t have. Similar to the aforementioned exercise, think about what you’re grateful for every day. Don’t just think it, say it aloud and really emotionalise why you’re grateful for it with you’re whole body. It will re-direct your focus and help you to notice more often what’s really good in your life; that which you may have overlooked previously.

4. Catch Your Negative Self-Talk

There are a lot of people who aren’t aware they have a voice in their head (don’t worry, you’re not crazy), but this voice is often negative. Catch your negative self-talk and whenever you hear a negative comment, immediately replace it with a positive one. Write down your most recurring self-talk statements and write counter-active, positive statements. If you hear “no one likes me”,  write down “that’s not true, I know people like me because…” and list the reasons. Your brain is like a computer: whatever command you input, it responds, so if you ask it a question like “why do I always mess up?” your brain will find plenty of examples to support it, but if you ask more empowering questions, it’ll provide you with more resourceful answers.

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5. Celebrate Your Successes

We’re often so busy in life that we seldom take the time to stop and really reflect on what we’ve achieved (regardless of how insignificant you think it is). Take the time once a day to ask yourself what you’re proud of having achieved that day, and revel in it. I recently actualised 4 of my 2013 goals in less than 2 weeks and hadn’t even noticed because I was so caught up in a minor roadblock I’d stumbled upon on a project. Appreciate how far you’ve come and remember that it’s not the outcome that’s always important, but the process.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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