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5 Self Esteem Hacks You Can Use Now

5 Self Esteem Hacks You Can Use Now

You see it every day on your newsfeed, and you probably don’t even question it—by now, it comes as no surprise. The popularity of Facebook has caused a shift in how people perceive themselves; the “like” button has become nothing more than a a self-esteem booster;  a way for people who are low in self-esteem to get a quick fix of validation if they’re feeling low.

Can you see how this can be problematic?

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What’s important is to develop high self-esteem from within, because then, you’re in total control of it, and the effects will be permanent. Developing high self-esteem can (and should) take years and years to develop, but there are shortcuts or, as I like to call them, “hacks” you can use to develop it no time at all. If you practice these 5 hacks on a consistent, daily basis, you’ll notice a difference in your self-esteem in no time at all. In fact, research argues that it only takes 66 days (Lally, Cornelia: 2009), so be sure to commit to it.

Liz Seda did a terrific job in her article “3 ways to permanently increase your self-esteem” and I thought I would elaborate on it with a few more.

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1. Learn to Love Yourself

This isn’t about egoism; you’re not arrogant if you love yourself. In fact, arrogance is often the foundation of low self-esteem and insecurity. Try this exercise: stand in front of the mirror (full length if possible) and tell your reflection everything you love about yourself. Accept what you don’t like about yourself (it may still be something you CAN change) and repeat this exercise either every morning or evening (but be sure to do it in private!). This may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve never done it before, but change often does.

2. Condition a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA)

Do you socialise with negative people? If so, consider finding new friends. This may seem unfair, but those negative people will simply re-enforce what you don’t like about yourself. People like to socialise with happy, positive people. The reason I wrote condition is because it takes A LOT of practice to be positive. I hate when people say “be positive” because it’s like saying to a struggling business “be affluent”—there’s no strategy, and you always need a stratergy if you want to learn how to hone a skill. Condition a PMA by trying to see the good in every bad situation you encounter. If you look hard enough, you’ll always find one.

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3. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

The happiest people in life are the ones that look at what they have, not what they don’t have. Similar to the aforementioned exercise, think about what you’re grateful for every day. Don’t just think it, say it aloud and really emotionalise why you’re grateful for it with you’re whole body. It will re-direct your focus and help you to notice more often what’s really good in your life; that which you may have overlooked previously.

4. Catch Your Negative Self-Talk

There are a lot of people who aren’t aware they have a voice in their head (don’t worry, you’re not crazy), but this voice is often negative. Catch your negative self-talk and whenever you hear a negative comment, immediately replace it with a positive one. Write down your most recurring self-talk statements and write counter-active, positive statements. If you hear “no one likes me”,  write down “that’s not true, I know people like me because…” and list the reasons. Your brain is like a computer: whatever command you input, it responds, so if you ask it a question like “why do I always mess up?” your brain will find plenty of examples to support it, but if you ask more empowering questions, it’ll provide you with more resourceful answers.

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5. Celebrate Your Successes

We’re often so busy in life that we seldom take the time to stop and really reflect on what we’ve achieved (regardless of how insignificant you think it is). Take the time once a day to ask yourself what you’re proud of having achieved that day, and revel in it. I recently actualised 4 of my 2013 goals in less than 2 weeks and hadn’t even noticed because I was so caught up in a minor roadblock I’d stumbled upon on a project. Appreciate how far you’ve come and remember that it’s not the outcome that’s always important, but the process.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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