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5 Self Defence Tips All Women Should Know

5 Self Defence Tips All Women Should Know

It’s a sad fact of the world we live in that women need to be more aware of self defense tactics than men. In a perfect world, articles like this one wouldn’t have to exists; and in a more fair world the title would be “5 Self Defence Tips All People Should Know” but the statistics show us that our world isn’t always fair. In 2005, 92% of all sexual assault victims in the United States were female according to the Women’s Self Defense Institute. More than one million women are stalked each year in the US compared to nearly 400,000 men. Obviously it makes sense for everyone to be aware of techniques they can use to stay safe when travelling alone at night, but due to the increased risk of attacks on females there is an even greater need for women to be alert and informed. With that in mind, let’s get into the list:

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    1. Use Your Senses

    The best way to stay safe is to avoid a confrontation altogether. Criminals do not see all people as equally likely targets, they identify those who will give them the least trouble and the best chance to escape. Consequently, your best self defence strategy is to not be an easy target. Walk tall with good posture and be aware of your surroundings. Don’t wear headphones, your ears are a valuable resource in knowing what is going on around you especially after dark. Keep your head up and watch where you are going. The sooner you can react to a potential situation the better off you will be.

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      2. Dress for Success

      If you plan on walking home alone or expect to be in some other similarly risky situation, wear clothing that will allow you full mobility. Stash a pair of running shoes at a friend’s house, in someone’s car, or carry them with you. Avoid tight fitting clothes that will restrict your movement. Part of avoiding a confrontation might be the ability to run away from a potential threat, and you don’t want heels and a skirt to get in your way.

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        3. Stay Visible

        Be conscious of the route you choose to get home. If there are busier streets with better lighting that add ten minutes to your walk but will keep you safe, take them. Criminals tend to stick to areas where there are fewer people for a reason and it pays to avoid them. Also, be aware of how you are walking. Take a wide path around corners to avoid being surprised.

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          4. Have a Toolkit

          Carry items that will help you out if you end up in a bad situation. At the very least, a whistle will alert other people around you that something is wrong and at best it may scare away any potential attacker. Also consider carrying weapon, but be aware of the fact that any weapon you carry has the potential to be used against you. If you live in a place that allows them, personal pepper spray canisters are a great option. Just make sure you know how to use them. A well placed shot of pepper spray in the face of an attacker can give you the time you need to get away.

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            5. Know How to Fight Back

            When prevention and your toolkit fail you, be prepared and know how to fight back. There is also no such thing as fighting dirty when your safety is on the line. Direct any punches you throw at your attackers face. If they come at you with their hands outstretched grab a thumb for finger and bend it like a Christmas wishbone. If they get closer than that, grab their shoulders and hit them in the groin with your knee as hard as you can. Other sensitive areas are the shin and the eyes. Focusing in the right targets and landing one good shot can give you the window you need to get to safety. Look into taking a self defence class offered in your area.

            Featured photo credit: PictureYouth via flickr.com

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            Last Updated on September 17, 2018

            7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

            7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

            Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

            Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

            When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

            Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

            1. You’re depressed about your home life.

            No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

            However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

            If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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            When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

            You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

            2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

            Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

            If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

            You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

            If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

            3. You can’t stop snooping.

            Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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            I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

            Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

            So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

            It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

            If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

            4. You’re afraid of commitment.

            If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

            Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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            No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

            If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

            Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

            5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

            If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

            Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

            Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

            Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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            If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

            6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

            When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

            When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

            If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

            7. You chase past feelings.

            It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

            You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

            When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

            Final thoughts

            If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

            Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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