I am pretty sure you have already heard the typical expression – almost 93% of our communication is non-verbal. That what you say doesn’t really matter. That what others perceive is actually defined by a combination of our body language, tonality and eye contact, rather than the actual words we use.
When I first heard this idea it blew my mind. I was always trying to focus on what to say and how to make it sound as fancy as possible, but in reality it was not that important. This applies to every human interaction ranging from talking in business meetings and giving presentations, to having a laugh with friends or trying to seduce a girl you like.
It is common knowledge that people who use their body language effectively come across as more:
And these are only some of the few traits of people who know how to use their body language.
Despite its importance, the great majority of the population neglects non-verbal communication. And the main reason behind this is that it takes much time and effort to master the science of body language. Luckily enough for you, I have been around body language experts my whole life and I am proud to present the five most significant tips they have given to me in order to master almost 90% of your body language.
Tip #1 – Walk like a leader
If you get the chance to examine world leaders, you will find out at most of their meetings and social appearances, they tend to follow a similar pattern.
- They take big steps. Big steps are a sign of strength and leadership whereas small steps usually convey weakness.
- They keep a straight posture. A straight posture communicates confidence and superiority and people usually feel protected when they are around you.
- They never look down. Looking down as you walk is a sign of insecurity and most people lose trust in your abilities if you don’t keep a strong straight look while you walk.
Walking like a leader unconsciously puts you in a position of one. Others around you feel this shift in your identity and you become more respected, more trustful and more attractive.
Tip #2 – Find your seductive face
Yes you know what I am talking about. That look you take whenever you look at yourself in the mirror and no one is around. A great majority of the people I know, agree this is their most attractive look but because of insecurity they fail to adopt it on a regular basis.
Most of the greatest body language experts I know have told me they have trained themselves to adopt this look. Every time they were looking at themselves in the mirror, they were trying to find their seductive face. After that they would take a virtual image of it and they would try to make this image an integral part of their face.
They were consistent and conscious about it and they managed to make their seductive face their competitive advantage.
Tip #3 – Eliminate micro-expressions
Micro-expressions can be quite confusing. Experts reveal micro-expressions can betray your intentions and even destroy your image in a fraction of a second. They argue that the best way to eliminate them is to keep a stable, rock-solid face whenever you talk. In order to achieve this, they propose an exercise with a mirror again. The exercise goes like this:
Look at yourself in the mirror but this time start talking. Now, while you talk, focus on weird micro-expressions your face adopts while saying specific words or going through a specific emotional state. Now say the same words or sentence again, while trying to keep a rock-solid, stable, face. If you do this exercise for 15 minutes a day you will be able to reduce micro-expressions within a week.
Tip #4 – Talk with a deeper voice
A deep voice is one of the most powerful attributes of an alpha male. It is an indicator of dominant masculine polarity and a major attraction switch.
A deep voice might be something difficult to master. Mainly because in the beginning – especially if you have a high-pitched voice – changing your voice can make you sound like Tony Robbins. However the truth is that it actually works.
You will start getting compliments from girls and people will start paying a lot more attention to what you say. Again, the secret to mastering a deep voice is to be conscious about it. Pay deep attention to it every time you are in a conversation with somebody. Deepen your tonality whenever you feel it sounds weak.
Tip #5 – Maintain eye contact
In order to improve your eye contact and make yourself comfortable with that, you need to challenge yourself. You need to keep strong eye contact with every single person you may be conversing with. Even if it is Kate Upton!
Start with your friends so it is easy and continue with strangers. But you need to be conscious about it. It is not as difficult and as awkward as you may think. After a small period of time, you will get used to it and you will become unconsciously good at it.
Featured photo credit: flirting/Joris Louwes via flickr.com