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5 Expert Tips To Help You Master 90% Of Your Body Language

5 Expert Tips To Help You Master 90% Of Your Body Language

I am pretty sure you have already heard the typical expression – almost 93% of our communication is non-verbal. That what you say doesn’t really matter. That what others perceive is actually defined by a combination of our body language, tonality and eye contact, rather than the actual words we use.

When I first heard this idea it blew my mind. I was always trying to focus on what to say and how to make it sound as fancy as possible, but in reality it was not that important. This applies to every human interaction ranging from talking in business meetings and giving presentations, to having a laugh with friends or trying to seduce a girl you like.

It is common knowledge that people who use their body language effectively come across as more:

  • Powerful
  • Dominant
  • Trustful
  • Superior
  • Attractive

And these are only some of the few traits of people who know how to use their body language.

Despite its importance, the great majority of the population neglects non-verbal communication. And the main reason behind this is that it takes much time and effort to master the science of body language. Luckily enough for you, I have been around body language experts my whole life and I am proud to present the five most significant tips they have given to me in order to master almost 90% of your body language.

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Tip #1 – Walk like a leader

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    If you get the chance to examine world leaders, you will find out at most of their meetings and social appearances, they tend to follow a similar pattern.

    • They take big steps. Big steps are a sign of strength and leadership whereas small steps usually convey weakness.
    • They keep a straight posture. A straight posture communicates confidence and superiority and people usually feel protected when they are around you.
    • They never look down. Looking down as you walk is a sign of insecurity and most people lose trust in your abilities if you don’t keep a strong straight look while you walk.

    Walking like a leader unconsciously puts you in a position of one. Others around you feel this shift in your identity and you become more respected, more trustful and more attractive.

    Tip #2 – Find your seductive face

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      Yes you know what I am talking about. That look you take whenever you look at yourself in the mirror and no one is around. A great majority of the people I know, agree this is their most attractive look but because of insecurity they fail to adopt it on a regular basis.

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      Most of the greatest body language experts I know have told me they have trained themselves to adopt this look. Every time they were looking at themselves in the mirror, they were trying to find their seductive face. After that they would take a virtual image of it and they would try to make this image an integral part of their face.

      They were consistent and conscious about it and they managed to make their seductive face their competitive advantage.

      Tip #3 – Eliminate micro-expressions

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        Micro-expressions can be quite confusing. Experts reveal micro-expressions can betray your intentions and even destroy your image in a fraction of a second. They argue that the best way to eliminate them is to keep a stable, rock-solid face whenever you talk. In order to achieve this, they propose an exercise with a mirror again. The exercise goes like this:

        Look at yourself in the mirror but this time start talking. Now, while you talk, focus on weird micro-expressions your face adopts while saying specific words or going through a specific emotional state. Now say the same words or sentence again, while trying to keep a rock-solid, stable, face. If you do this exercise for 15 minutes a day you will be able to reduce micro-expressions within a week.

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        Tip #4 – Talk with a deeper voice

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          A deep voice is one of the most powerful attributes of an alpha male. It is an indicator of dominant masculine polarity and a major attraction switch.

          A deep voice might be something difficult to master. Mainly because in the beginning – especially if you have a high-pitched voice – changing your voice can make you sound like Tony Robbins. However the truth is that it actually works.

          You will start getting compliments from girls and people will start paying a lot more attention to what you say. Again, the secret to mastering a deep voice is to be conscious about it. Pay deep attention to it every time you are in a conversation with somebody. Deepen your tonality whenever you feel it sounds weak.

          Tip #5 – Maintain eye contact

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            In order to improve your eye contact and make yourself comfortable with that, you need to challenge yourself. You need to keep strong eye contact with every single person you may be conversing with. Even if it is Kate Upton!

            Start with your friends so it is easy and continue with strangers. But you need to be conscious about it. It is not as difficult and as awkward as you may think. After a small period of time, you will get used to it and you will become unconsciously good at it.

            Featured photo credit: flirting/Joris Louwes via flickr.com

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            The Gentle Art of Saying No

            The Gentle Art of Saying No

            No!

            It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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            But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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            What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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            But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

            1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
            2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
            3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
            4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
            5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
            6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
            7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
            8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
            9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
            10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

            Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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