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5 Expert Tips To Help You Master 90% Of Your Body Language

5 Expert Tips To Help You Master 90% Of Your Body Language

I am pretty sure you have already heard the typical expression – almost 93% of our communication is non-verbal. That what you say doesn’t really matter. That what others perceive is actually defined by a combination of our body language, tonality and eye contact, rather than the actual words we use.

When I first heard this idea it blew my mind. I was always trying to focus on what to say and how to make it sound as fancy as possible, but in reality it was not that important. This applies to every human interaction ranging from talking in business meetings and giving presentations, to having a laugh with friends or trying to seduce a girl you like.

It is common knowledge that people who use their body language effectively come across as more:

  • Powerful
  • Dominant
  • Trustful
  • Superior
  • Attractive

And these are only some of the few traits of people who know how to use their body language.

Despite its importance, the great majority of the population neglects non-verbal communication. And the main reason behind this is that it takes much time and effort to master the science of body language. Luckily enough for you, I have been around body language experts my whole life and I am proud to present the five most significant tips they have given to me in order to master almost 90% of your body language.

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Tip #1 – Walk like a leader

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    If you get the chance to examine world leaders, you will find out at most of their meetings and social appearances, they tend to follow a similar pattern.

    • They take big steps. Big steps are a sign of strength and leadership whereas small steps usually convey weakness.
    • They keep a straight posture. A straight posture communicates confidence and superiority and people usually feel protected when they are around you.
    • They never look down. Looking down as you walk is a sign of insecurity and most people lose trust in your abilities if you don’t keep a strong straight look while you walk.

    Walking like a leader unconsciously puts you in a position of one. Others around you feel this shift in your identity and you become more respected, more trustful and more attractive.

    Tip #2 – Find your seductive face

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      Yes you know what I am talking about. That look you take whenever you look at yourself in the mirror and no one is around. A great majority of the people I know, agree this is their most attractive look but because of insecurity they fail to adopt it on a regular basis.

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      Most of the greatest body language experts I know have told me they have trained themselves to adopt this look. Every time they were looking at themselves in the mirror, they were trying to find their seductive face. After that they would take a virtual image of it and they would try to make this image an integral part of their face.

      They were consistent and conscious about it and they managed to make their seductive face their competitive advantage.

      Tip #3 – Eliminate micro-expressions

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        Micro-expressions can be quite confusing. Experts reveal micro-expressions can betray your intentions and even destroy your image in a fraction of a second. They argue that the best way to eliminate them is to keep a stable, rock-solid face whenever you talk. In order to achieve this, they propose an exercise with a mirror again. The exercise goes like this:

        Look at yourself in the mirror but this time start talking. Now, while you talk, focus on weird micro-expressions your face adopts while saying specific words or going through a specific emotional state. Now say the same words or sentence again, while trying to keep a rock-solid, stable, face. If you do this exercise for 15 minutes a day you will be able to reduce micro-expressions within a week.

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        Tip #4 – Talk with a deeper voice

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          A deep voice is one of the most powerful attributes of an alpha male. It is an indicator of dominant masculine polarity and a major attraction switch.

          A deep voice might be something difficult to master. Mainly because in the beginning – especially if you have a high-pitched voice – changing your voice can make you sound like Tony Robbins. However the truth is that it actually works.

          You will start getting compliments from girls and people will start paying a lot more attention to what you say. Again, the secret to mastering a deep voice is to be conscious about it. Pay deep attention to it every time you are in a conversation with somebody. Deepen your tonality whenever you feel it sounds weak.

          Tip #5 – Maintain eye contact

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            In order to improve your eye contact and make yourself comfortable with that, you need to challenge yourself. You need to keep strong eye contact with every single person you may be conversing with. Even if it is Kate Upton!

            Start with your friends so it is easy and continue with strangers. But you need to be conscious about it. It is not as difficult and as awkward as you may think. After a small period of time, you will get used to it and you will become unconsciously good at it.

            Featured photo credit: flirting/Joris Louwes via flickr.com

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            Last Updated on August 6, 2020

            6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

            6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

            We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

            “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

            Are we speaking the same language?

            My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

            When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

            Am I being lazy?

            When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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            Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

            Early in the relationship:

            “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

            When the relationship is established:

            “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

            It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

            Have I actually got anything to say?

            When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

            A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

            When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

            Am I painting an accurate picture?

            One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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            How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

            Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

            What words am I using?

            It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

            Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

            Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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            Is the map really the territory?

            Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

            A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

            I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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