Building confidence takes time and patience. There is no quick-fix or magical solution to becoming a more self-assured version of yourself besides putting in the time to improve yourself slowly, but surely. Here are some solutions that are guaranteed to boost your confidence in the long run.
1. Program yourself to always think positively
We all have negative voices insides our head, telling us that we do not have the abilities to do something. The good news is that we can change these voices to only say positive things instead. Start out slowly and push yourself to think of three good things about yourself in the bathroom mirror every morning. As you get into a routine, your brain will be programmed to think first of these affirmations and any negative thoughts will begin to recede into the back of your mind. If at first you do not feel progress, make sure to continue on, because practice makes perfect.
2. Be realistic with what you can change
Take the time to look within yourself and assess what is possible to change and what is out of reach. It is important to focus on changing the things you have control over, because this is where you will see the most self-improvement. Make a list of three things that you would like to improve on and then under each item write a few bullet points on how you will go about making this change. Writing it out is crucial because then you will be better able to visualize if this is an achievable task for yourself or not.
3. Focus on the small steps for signs of improvement
Make sure to focus on smaller victories and not use the larger picture as a way to measure your improvement. It is often harder for individuals to see their own self improvement when they are looking at the long term, but is easier to pinpoint changes when you are focusing on daily accomplishments. Want to become better at speaking up for yourself? Start small and have a daily goal of one instance where you practice defending yourself. Maybe it is being honest at work and turning down an extra project that you often feel obligated to assist with. Maybe it is asking for help at home from your spouse with chores. Whatever it is makes sure you follow through and then acknowledge your achievements by making a list and posting it somewhere easily in view, because small steps always add up in the end.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others
One of the most common pitfalls that humans are guilty of is comparing themselves with each other, when realistically everyone is so different that it does not make much sense at all. Social media does not help, with hundreds of opportunities throughout the day to see friends with literally picture-perfect lives. It is important to remember that what appears on the surface is not always what is reality. If you feel like you are constantly overwhelmed by trying to keep up with others, make a marked effort to limit your usage of social media for awhile to once a day for 5-10 minutes. You will be surprised with all the free time you have to do other things and best of all you will have a clear, more confident self.
5. Focus on improving your body language
Practice being aware of how you hold yourself during the day. Are there specific instances where you intentionally try to make yourself smaller? In these moments force yourself to do the opposite and hold your head up high. Training your body to do the opposite is important because you will eventually get into the habit of appearing more self-assured automatically. Stand in front of a mirror and practice improving your posture. Another trick to give you confidence through body language is doing the superwomen stance in private, where you separate you legs to be shoulder-width apart and put your hands firmly on your hips. This has been proven to instantly give you courage to face anything that might intimidate you.
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