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5 Easy Ways To Boost Your Confidence

5 Easy Ways To Boost Your Confidence

Building confidence takes time and patience. There is no quick-fix or magical solution to becoming a more self-assured version of yourself besides putting in the time to improve yourself slowly, but surely. Here are some solutions that are guaranteed to boost your confidence in the long run.

1. Program yourself to always think positively

We all have negative voices insides our head, telling us that we do not have the abilities to do something. The good news is that we can change these voices to only say positive things instead. Start out slowly and push yourself to think of three good things about yourself in the bathroom mirror every morning. As you get into a routine, your brain will be programmed to think first of these affirmations and any negative thoughts will begin to recede into the back of your mind. If at first you do not feel progress, make sure to continue on, because practice makes perfect.

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2. Be realistic with what you can change

Take the time to look within yourself and assess what is possible to change and what is out of reach. It is important to focus on changing the things you have control over, because this is where you will see the most self-improvement. Make a list of three things that you would like to improve on and then under each item write a few bullet points on how you will go about making this change. Writing it out is crucial because then you will be better able to  visualize if this is an achievable task for yourself or not.

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3. Focus on the small steps for signs of improvement

Make sure to focus on smaller victories and not use the larger picture as a way to measure your improvement. It is often harder for individuals to see their own self improvement when they are looking at the long term, but is easier to pinpoint changes when you are focusing on daily accomplishments. Want to become better at speaking up for yourself? Start small and have a daily goal of one instance where you practice defending yourself. Maybe it is being honest at work and turning down an extra project that you often feel obligated to assist with. Maybe it is asking for help at home from your spouse with chores. Whatever it is makes sure you follow through and then acknowledge your achievements by making a list and posting it somewhere easily in view, because small steps always add up in the end.

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4. Stop comparing yourself to others

One of the most common pitfalls that humans are guilty of is comparing themselves with each other, when realistically everyone is so different that it does not make much sense at all. Social media does not help, with hundreds of opportunities throughout the day to see friends with literally picture-perfect lives. It is important to remember that what appears on the surface is not always what is reality. If you feel like you are constantly overwhelmed by trying to keep up with others, make a marked effort to limit your usage of social media for awhile to once a day for 5-10 minutes. You will be surprised with all the free time you have to do other things and best of all you will have a clear, more confident self.

5. Focus on improving your body language

Practice being aware of how you hold yourself during the day. Are there specific instances where you intentionally try to make yourself smaller? In these moments force yourself to do the opposite and hold your head up high. Training your body to do the opposite is important because you will eventually get into the habit of appearing more self-assured automatically. Stand in front of a mirror and practice improving your posture. Another trick to give you confidence through body language is doing the superwomen stance in private, where you separate you legs to be shoulder-width apart and put your hands firmly on your hips. This has been proven to instantly give you courage to face anything that might intimidate you.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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