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5 Conversation and Interaction Tips

5 Conversation and Interaction Tips

I had a phone call yesterday with someone very important, and important to me. But for the life of me, I couldn’t recall a single word of what we’d talked about. (If I’d followed my own hack and written the conversation directly into the contact notes section in Gmail, I’d be saved, but I didn’t.) I really faltered for a short while, so this gave me some thoughts on how it could go differently in the future.

Conversation and Interaction Tips

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  • If you’ve met someone only once or twice before, and then run into them at a conference or other social gathering, introduce yourself again, complete with some tidbits from the last talk. Say, “Hey Heidi. I’m Chris Brogan. We talked at PodCamp Boston about video podcasting for farmers.” That way, she has every chance in the world to save “face,” and also get immediately back into the time frame of when she met you, and what happened. This works much better than, “Hey Heidi!” and then you wait to see if they remember you. That’s really just low-handed at that point.
  • If you’re forgetful, state it up front. Don’t try to play catch up. “I’m really sorry, Russ. I know we were having this call to talk about something important, but I can’t find my notes, and I’m blanking. Could you lead off?” It’s straightforward, and gets the other person on your side. (Only a jerk would be terribly offended).
  • Make that person number one. It’s just downright rude to do the crowdsurfing eyeball thing while talking with someone. But here’s one way to move through a crowd a little faster. Upon shaking hands and reconnecting, make your first statement after re-acquainting yourself, “Oh Casey, I have so much I want to talk with you about, but I’ve got to run off in just a second. Will you be around for a while?” Then, you can have a few minutes of conversation, putting Casey at the focus of your attention, and she’ll understand when you have to leave after a few minutes. Be honest about this.
  • Share the wealth. You’re passionate, and want to tell the other person all about your project and your perspective, but be sure to ask them engaging questions about what he or she are doing. Be genuinely interested. Find out what they’re passionate about. Learn as much in those few minutes as you can, because it’s way more fun than talking about the weather.
  • Close with something actionable. If you need NOTHING from this person, ask them, “How can I help you with your goals? What can I be thinking about in my day to help you be successful?” If you have needs, ask them to consider contacting you for a follow-up meeting, or for whatever you need. Taking donations? Ask them if you can help them decide on sending money to your event? (I’m doing a lot of that now). It will make the conversation feel more valuable.

There are variations, and this isn’t exactly for every conversation you have, but I think these tips will be useful to your interactions around professional settings. I’m learning more than anything else in this new world that the connections you make are more important than any line of code you write, or any song you perform. It’s what you do to grow your personal network and develop a system of friends and colleagues that will sustain you in the future.

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–Chris Brogan is passionately creating an audio and video podcast company. He writes about it often at [chrisbrogan.com]. He’s also co-founder and Organizer of PodCamp Boston, and is looking for participants and donations alike. Stop by.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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