I had a phone call yesterday with someone very important, and important to me. But for the life of me, I couldn’t recall a single word of what we’d talked about. (If I’d followed my own hack and written the conversation directly into the contact notes section in Gmail, I’d be saved, but I didn’t.) I really faltered for a short while, so this gave me some thoughts on how it could go differently in the future.
Conversation and Interaction Tips
- If you’ve met someone only once or twice before, and then run into them at a conference or other social gathering, introduce yourself again, complete with some tidbits from the last talk. Say, “Hey Heidi. I’m Chris Brogan. We talked at PodCamp Boston about video podcasting for farmers.” That way, she has every chance in the world to save “face,” and also get immediately back into the time frame of when she met you, and what happened. This works much better than, “Hey Heidi!” and then you wait to see if they remember you. That’s really just low-handed at that point.
- If you’re forgetful, state it up front. Don’t try to play catch up. “I’m really sorry, Russ. I know we were having this call to talk about something important, but I can’t find my notes, and I’m blanking. Could you lead off?” It’s straightforward, and gets the other person on your side. (Only a jerk would be terribly offended).
- Make that person number one. It’s just downright rude to do the crowdsurfing eyeball thing while talking with someone. But here’s one way to move through a crowd a little faster. Upon shaking hands and reconnecting, make your first statement after re-acquainting yourself, “Oh Casey, I have so much I want to talk with you about, but I’ve got to run off in just a second. Will you be around for a while?” Then, you can have a few minutes of conversation, putting Casey at the focus of your attention, and she’ll understand when you have to leave after a few minutes. Be honest about this.
- Share the wealth. You’re passionate, and want to tell the other person all about your project and your perspective, but be sure to ask them engaging questions about what he or she are doing. Be genuinely interested. Find out what they’re passionate about. Learn as much in those few minutes as you can, because it’s way more fun than talking about the weather.
- Close with something actionable. If you need NOTHING from this person, ask them, “How can I help you with your goals? What can I be thinking about in my day to help you be successful?” If you have needs, ask them to consider contacting you for a follow-up meeting, or for whatever you need. Taking donations? Ask them if you can help them decide on sending money to your event? (I’m doing a lot of that now). It will make the conversation feel more valuable.
There are variations, and this isn’t exactly for every conversation you have, but I think these tips will be useful to your interactions around professional settings. I’m learning more than anything else in this new world that the connections you make are more important than any line of code you write, or any song you perform. It’s what you do to grow your personal network and develop a system of friends and colleagues that will sustain you in the future.
–Chris Brogan is passionately creating an audio and video podcast company. He writes about it often at [chrisbrogan.com]. He’s also co-founder and Organizer of PodCamp Boston, and is looking for participants and donations alike. Stop by.