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4 Ways That You’ll Ensure Failure

4 Ways That You’ll Ensure Failure

Are you sometimes left feeling completely lost as to why your life isn’t the way you always envisioned it to be? We all feel this way from time to time. Many people really want a better life, but they just don’t know how to achieve it, and we all want to be successful in life, whatever success means to each person.  Unfortunately, only a few people actually change their dreams into their reality. What stops you from achieving all that you desire? What separates those successful individuals from those who could have been successful?

For many people, success is the elusive goal. 80% of the reason why you may not be achieving your goals is most likely due to internal factors; you’re blind to these barriers, and they may be holding you back from obtaining what you want. There are many habits for success which you can develop, and there are many reasons why you might not be achieving success as well. Below are 4 common ways that you might be sabotaging your success without even knowing it.

1. “I’ll get back to that later.”

How many of your daily actions are proactive and reactive? When you hear about the successes of others, you normally don’t read about everything that happened before that moment. If you do, however, you will find that 99% of those individuals took aggressive action each day to close the gap between where they were and where they wanted to be.You must stay focused and direct all of your efforts and actions towards your ideal outcome.  Doing something halfheartedly will bring you half the results.

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It is common to want to give in to activities that give you momentary gratification, but don’t be ignorant to the fact that they are distracting you from your focused objective. If you want to be successful, you must put results before comfort, and prepare to go that extra mile and make more effort. If you have a goal, take action every day to get you closer to achieving them. Did you know that one of the main reasons individuals don’t obtain what they want is because they get distracted and don’t stay focused? It is your choice whether you want to be committed and focused on achieving your goals or not—it’s that simple.

“You can always find a distraction if you’re looking for one.” — Tom Kite.

2. “I’m too scared I will…”

If you don’t take risks in life, you will never achieve all you can. You might avoid certain situations, or perhaps you procrastinate with certain tasks or back away from opportunities without even realizing it. You can achieve what you desire in life, and the only limits you have are the ones that you set for yourself. Everyone is scared, but the difference is whether you allow fear to stop you from living your dreams.

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You must get out of your comfort zone and do different things if you want different results, so start to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.  Fear is natural; being ambitious is not about being fearless—we will always have fears at different stages—but rather simply learn how to get over your fears. Did you know that resisting fear actually strengthens it?

“Life’s not about waiting for the storms to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

3. “I quit”

Similar to not moving forward because of fear is giving up because of obstacles and hurdles. At every stage of your personal and working life, you will face different challenges; the key is to not give up, but instead look for another route if it doesn’t work out the way you wanted. Do you really think that you can achieve all you want effortlessly and easily? You will have to overcome challenges along the way, deal with difficulties, and if you can get through that, success will be yours.

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Do you find yourself saying something along the lines of “I tried to but I couldn’t  or “I couldn’t because he/she…” and “What is the point? It will never work out”?  If you give up every time you face an obstacle, you will never achieve greatness.  Did you know that there are countless cases of individuals who gave up just before achieving success? Perseverance is a key characteristic in all successful individuals.

“When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.” – Unknown

4. “I want it now!”

It is hard not to get impatient when you feel like you are trying and trying but not seeing results, but being patient is an essential principle for success. Take one step at a time, but take consistent steps and over time you are sure to reach your goals. Remember that change doesn’t happen overnight; you must be firmly committed to achieving what you desire. If you tend to give up easily, it will be a challenge for you to succeed, but it is important to give yourself time, granted you are taking the right action!

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When you plant a seed, you don’t constantly dig it up to check that it is growing; you trust that a stem will soon appear. Your attitude towards results should be similar—keep going and always remind yourself of the end goal, the purpose for your actions. Did you know that patience is the difference between success or failure?

“Patience is a necessary ingredient of success” – Benjamin Disraeli

Remember to stay focused, be courageous, patient and don’t give up—success will be yours!

What are your obstacles to success? Do you know what you do that holds you back from success?  

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Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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