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4 Things We All Want To Learn From Hobbits About Birthday Presents

4 Things We All Want To Learn From Hobbits About Birthday Presents

Hobbits are described in The Lord of the Rings as a merry folk who loved to laugh, eat, drink and “they were hospitable and delighted in parties, and in presents, which they gave away freely and eagerly accepted.”

No wonder they are popular creatures! But should their birthday traditions exist in Tolkien’s fantasy world only? Trying some Hobbit customs might give our own celebrations a refreshing twist. Here are four truly inspiring aspects of treating birthday presents as Hobbits do:

1. Hobbits give presents only as they can afford.

‘Not very expensive’ was a basic rule for birthday presents so the giver “could accommodate his gift to his purse and his affections without incurring public comment or offending (if anyone) any other than the recipient”, as Tolkien explained in a letter to a fan (Letter 214 in The Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Humphrey Carpenter).

And no, a cheap present does not mean it could only be lame by definition. There are very cool gifts that hardly cost anything.

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2. Birthday presents are given in private.

As explained in Tolkien’s letter, Hobbits handed over the presents one-on-one, in person and before the party. We can see clearly that this allows undivided attention on both sides. If not practiced properly, it might be embarrassing to some, but it also allowed a wonderful opportunity to show the other person how much they cared about them.

Presents were not just simply handed over in private as “it was very improper to exhibit them separately or as a collection” – to avoid showing off (Letter 214). And if you have ever experienced the embarrassment of a situation where someone was given two identical gifts by different persons, then you know one more reason to value the Hobbits’ traditions.

3. Hobbits having their birthdays give small presents to others.

When Hobbits threw a birthday party (and they usually did), all guests were presented with a small gift (even those who had not given anything to the Hobbit celebrating his/her birthday before the party). The tradition has been elaborated as “a form of ‘thanksgiving’, so it was taken as a recognition of services, benefits, and friendship shown, especially in the past year” (Tolkien’s Letter 214 is the source of the quotes in this section if not stated otherwise).

Hobbits started the custom as small children, giving their parents gifts that they had “found, grown, or made.” Things “belonging to or produced by the giver” were absolutely ‘correct’ presents among adults too. Presents could be new or used things, some “had circulated all around the district” as we can read in The Lord of The Rings (that is probably something not to be learned from Hobbits).

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As we know from Bilbo’s not necessarily typical example (of his farewell / birthday gifts, in his case anyway), presents could even refer to the relationship in a serious or a joking manner.

For example, Bilbo gave a gold pen and ink-bottle to someone who never answered letters or a large waste-paper basket to a relative who “had written reams of good advice for more than half a century.”

As we read it in The Lord of The Rings, this tradition ensured that everyone received lots of presents throughout the year, and Hobbits “never got tired of them.”

But we can see another perspective too: the hobbit having a birthday practiced gratitude. So altogether, this was really wise as many small, good things contribute to everyone’s happiness better than fewer, even though bigger, positive events (frequency beats intensity), and practicing gratitude also makes people happier. Consequently, there is not much risk in saying that this Hobbit custom can create an absolute win-win situation.

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4. The celebration itself is more important than the gifts.

As we learn from Letter 214, Hobbit guests expected the small presents they were given “as part of the entertainment” and “secondary to the fare provided.” If you have come across Bilbo’s party in The Lord of the Rings, you might have an idea that all Hobbit parties were huge. but mind you, that party was rather exceptional. (For example, fireworks displayed by Gandalf were obviously not part of the usual customs, and the presents given to the guests were “unusually good.”)

We can imagine the atmosphere of that party as probably typical though, with elements that – if practiced regularly – might also help us make our lives a celebration.

There is another custom to be learned from Hobbits that highlights the importance of celebration. As Tolkien explained in Letter 214, “sometimes, in the case of a very dear friend unable to come to a party (because of distance or other causes), a token invitation would be sent, with a present. In  that case the present was always something to eat or drink, purporting to be a sample of the party-fare.”

Hobbits made sure that all thier friends were in some way involved in the celebration.

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Which of these customs would you like to try or have you tried already when celebrating your or someone else’s birthday? Your ideas and experiences are all welcome.

Featured photo credit: small presents via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 4, 2020

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

1. Be willing to work hard.

As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

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3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

5. Always be consistent.

A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

6. Go and find your happy place.

No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

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7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

9. Be on hand to help others.

Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

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10. Live in the present moment.

A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

11. Learn something new.

There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

12. Exercise daily.

This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

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13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

15. Get up earlier than normal.

This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

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Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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