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4 Things We All Want To Learn From Hobbits About Birthday Presents

4 Things We All Want To Learn From Hobbits About Birthday Presents

Hobbits are described in The Lord of the Rings as a merry folk who loved to laugh, eat, drink and “they were hospitable and delighted in parties, and in presents, which they gave away freely and eagerly accepted.”

No wonder they are popular creatures! But should their birthday traditions exist in Tolkien’s fantasy world only? Trying some Hobbit customs might give our own celebrations a refreshing twist. Here are four truly inspiring aspects of treating birthday presents as Hobbits do:

1. Hobbits give presents only as they can afford.

‘Not very expensive’ was a basic rule for birthday presents so the giver “could accommodate his gift to his purse and his affections without incurring public comment or offending (if anyone) any other than the recipient”, as Tolkien explained in a letter to a fan (Letter 214 in The Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Humphrey Carpenter).

And no, a cheap present does not mean it could only be lame by definition. There are very cool gifts that hardly cost anything.

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2. Birthday presents are given in private.

As explained in Tolkien’s letter, Hobbits handed over the presents one-on-one, in person and before the party. We can see clearly that this allows undivided attention on both sides. If not practiced properly, it might be embarrassing to some, but it also allowed a wonderful opportunity to show the other person how much they cared about them.

Presents were not just simply handed over in private as “it was very improper to exhibit them separately or as a collection” – to avoid showing off (Letter 214). And if you have ever experienced the embarrassment of a situation where someone was given two identical gifts by different persons, then you know one more reason to value the Hobbits’ traditions.

3. Hobbits having their birthdays give small presents to others.

When Hobbits threw a birthday party (and they usually did), all guests were presented with a small gift (even those who had not given anything to the Hobbit celebrating his/her birthday before the party). The tradition has been elaborated as “a form of ‘thanksgiving’, so it was taken as a recognition of services, benefits, and friendship shown, especially in the past year” (Tolkien’s Letter 214 is the source of the quotes in this section if not stated otherwise).

Hobbits started the custom as small children, giving their parents gifts that they had “found, grown, or made.” Things “belonging to or produced by the giver” were absolutely ‘correct’ presents among adults too. Presents could be new or used things, some “had circulated all around the district” as we can read in The Lord of The Rings (that is probably something not to be learned from Hobbits).

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As we know from Bilbo’s not necessarily typical example (of his farewell / birthday gifts, in his case anyway), presents could even refer to the relationship in a serious or a joking manner.

For example, Bilbo gave a gold pen and ink-bottle to someone who never answered letters or a large waste-paper basket to a relative who “had written reams of good advice for more than half a century.”

As we read it in The Lord of The Rings, this tradition ensured that everyone received lots of presents throughout the year, and Hobbits “never got tired of them.”

But we can see another perspective too: the hobbit having a birthday practiced gratitude. So altogether, this was really wise as many small, good things contribute to everyone’s happiness better than fewer, even though bigger, positive events (frequency beats intensity), and practicing gratitude also makes people happier. Consequently, there is not much risk in saying that this Hobbit custom can create an absolute win-win situation.

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4. The celebration itself is more important than the gifts.

As we learn from Letter 214, Hobbit guests expected the small presents they were given “as part of the entertainment” and “secondary to the fare provided.” If you have come across Bilbo’s party in The Lord of the Rings, you might have an idea that all Hobbit parties were huge. but mind you, that party was rather exceptional. (For example, fireworks displayed by Gandalf were obviously not part of the usual customs, and the presents given to the guests were “unusually good.”)

We can imagine the atmosphere of that party as probably typical though, with elements that – if practiced regularly – might also help us make our lives a celebration.

There is another custom to be learned from Hobbits that highlights the importance of celebration. As Tolkien explained in Letter 214, “sometimes, in the case of a very dear friend unable to come to a party (because of distance or other causes), a token invitation would be sent, with a present. In  that case the present was always something to eat or drink, purporting to be a sample of the party-fare.”

Hobbits made sure that all thier friends were in some way involved in the celebration.

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Which of these customs would you like to try or have you tried already when celebrating your or someone else’s birthday? Your ideas and experiences are all welcome.

Featured photo credit: small presents via pixabay.com

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4 Things We All Want To Learn From Hobbits About Birthday Presents

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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