Advertising
Advertising

4 Changes to Improve Your Relationship and be Happier Together

4 Changes to Improve Your Relationship and be Happier Together

Want to be happier with your significant other? Improve your relationship and feel more connected with your spouse when you make these 4 changes to improve your relationship.

Advertising

love is that condition in which the happiness

    Grow together as a couple

    Often, after a couple has been together for a while they don’t make as much time to grow together. We grow in our business life, or as a parent, or in the areas of our individual interests, but what are you doing together to grow? If you only grow individually and aren’t sharing some of these experiences together you will probably find yourselves growing apart. There won’t be as much to talk about, and you’ll have a more difficult time understanding where your significant other’s point of view is coming from.

    Not sure how to “grow together”? Consider a few of these ideas:

    Advertising

    • Take a class together, such as painting, home repair, cooking, or music. The possibilities are endless.
    • Experience new things together: you might want to attend a lecture and then discuss your thoughts and ideas on the presentation, or take up a shared physical activity like salsa dancing, hiking, or fishing.
    • Build something together.
    • Design your dream house on the computer.

    Create habits as a couple where you show your love to each other

    Here are three simple habits you can create with your significant other to improve your relationship by showing and sharing your love in small ways throughout the day.

    • Kiss each other in the morning. Have a ritual in which whoever leaves the bedroom first gives the other a kiss. This way if you don’t get a chance to see each other again before one of you leaves for work, you’ve shown appreciation and love for each other.
    • Cuddle up together. When you sit down to watch a movie or TV show together, sit together on the couch and hold hands or touch for a while. You don’t have to stay this way the entire time, but show your partner that you want to be near them and touch them.
    • Kiss the cook. Whoever makes dinner receives a kiss before dinner, which shows appreciation for their effort. Make it a point to express your gratitude for the meal as well.

    Eliminate distractions when you are together

    If I’m talking to someone and they are checking their phone or on the computer it doesn’t feel like they are listening. When you are with your significant other, put the gadgets away. Have a strict rule during dinner that you don’t answer the phone or the doorbell, or check text messages. Focus on each other.

    Advertising

    If you have a lot of distractions at home—possibly from your children—schedule time away together regularly when it will just be the two of you and you can focus on each other. Try to leave talk of work and your kids behind and focus on the hobbies and interests you share together. Need more ideas for when you are out together on a <gasp> date with your significant other? Find some here.

    Laugh together more

    I bet you have a lot of funny moments and inside jokes with your partner, so be sure to bring those up and laugh together more often. If you have a cute name for your spouse, use it (but not too often). What were the funny moments that occurred while you were first dating, when you got married or when your children were born? Remembering and laughing about these times together strengthens your bond and make you feel happier.

    Advertising

    Last year my husband discovered the song “It’s Business Time” by Flight of the Conchords. Lyrics from this song have become a running joke that brings a smile to both our faces. We also love Jonathan Coulton’s “Shopvac” for its funny take on suburban angst.  These songs are also great for reminding us what we don’t want our lives to turn into.

    Find some music, videos or shows that you can both laugh at together and  reference them to bring in more laughter.

    Looking for more keys to a successful relationship? Find 10 here.

    More by this author

    50 Simple Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone Deeply Best Ways To Spend Your Thanksgiving Weekend This Year How to Create a Secure Password That You’ll Always Remember 20 Brilliant Self-Help Books You Need To Read How To Select Reading And Entertainment That Enriches Your Life

    Trending in Communication

    1 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 2 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck 3 Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) 4 Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max 5 How To Stop Insecure Attachment from Wreaking Havoc on Your Love Life

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on November 15, 2018

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

    As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

    The Success Mindset

    Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

    Advertising

    The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

    The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

    The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

    How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

    Advertising

    How To Create a Success Mindset

    People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

    1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

    How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

    A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

    Advertising

    There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

    2. Look For The Successes

    It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

    3. Eliminate Negativity

    You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

    Advertising

    When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

    4. Create a Vision

    Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

    If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

    An Inspirational Story…

    For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

    What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

    Read Next