Advertising
Advertising

3 Ways To Be Memorable By Breaking People’s Patterns

3 Ways To Be Memorable By Breaking People’s Patterns

Gasp!

    Life is full of little situations that you encounter regularly.  Some people don’t see these for the opportunities that they are: a chance to stand out, be different, and be memorable.

    They’re a way to quickly built rapport with someone so they can think back later and say “Brian…hmm, yeah he was the guy who does [BLANK]” or “Barbara, oh yeah she is the gal who said [BLANK]”.  You stood out enough to be remembered.

    Advertising

    By breaking out of your comfort zone and doing something a little different than everyone else you can connect with new people on a regular basis.

    1. How’s it going?This is perhaps one of the most common questions you will here, and everyone gives the same answer.  Instead of saying “fine”, “ok, how about you”, or “keepin busy”, next time try giving some uncommon honesty.  Don’t parrot back your usual response.  Think of something positive, unique, and/or funny that you are doing, and give them a one line summary.  Keeping it positive is key.  You should be bringing smiles to people’s faces, not unloading your baggage or stress.

      To the receptionist: “Today has been crazy, I just closed that deal I’ve been workin on for the last month.  High five!”

      To the checker at the grocery store: “I’ll tell you what man, it’s gonna be going a lot better after I eat this sandwhich, I’m starving!”

      To the cab driver: “Stupendous!” 

    2. The HandshakeAnother common pattern we all go through is the handshake.  Why not do it a little differently?One of my favorites to do in a social setting (especially with someone you just met recently) is to go for the hug instead of the handshake.

      They will put out their hand.  Just stare it for a second as if you are confused and then open you arms wide and say “I think I’d like a hug instead” with a big smile.  People will crack up laughing and instantly you have a connection.

      When everyone is going around the circle doing a handshake and it finally comes to you, you can also give them “the rock” to stand out.  The rock is when you make a fist and bump it with the other person’s fist.  This is a pop culture thing common among younger folks but it can also be humorous and help you stand out. Now you two have an inside joke.

      If you are in a business setting, you can still do variations on the handshake to stand out.  Try coming in wide from the outside with a little bit of a sweeping motion.  Or bringing in your left hand too for a “double” (send the left hand up to his/her forearm for extra rapport).  These will also show confidence and charm if done correctly.

    3. What do you do?  Where are you from?These are the two most common questions in small talk.  Come up with good answers to them that help you stand out.The key to a good answer is that it provides little pieces of information that would be easy for them to ask a follow up question about.

      For example, if someone asks “What do you do?”, you could say:  “Well, I’m an accountant”.  Then there would be an awkward silence as the person tries to think of what to talk about next.

      Or….you can say something like “Well, when I finished up school I decided to try working for XYZ company, but I realized after about 30 seconds that I didn’t want to do that, so I got into ABC.  But honestly that’s just what I do for a job, what I really love doing is DEF and GHI so I do that pretty much every weekend.” 

      Now they have lots of places to take the conversation.  They could ask you about what school you graduated from, your hobbies, why you didn’t like XYZ, etc.  It’s uncommonly candid and gives them a better picture of your life.

      The same goes for the dreaded “Where are you from?”.  Give a miniature story in your answer with some interesting details they can follow up on.

    Are there any other ways you like to stand out in people’s minds, build an instant connection, and break patterns? Leave a comment below!

    Advertising

    More by this author

    How To Instantly Feel Better When You Are Depressed 8 Essential Skills They Didn’t Teach You In School How To Make A Bunch Of New Friends In Any New City Tired in the morning and awake at night? Here is a REAL solution. How to Launch a Business Without Spending a Dime

    Trending in Communication

    1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

    Advertising

    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

    Advertising

    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

    Advertising

    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

    Advertising

    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

    More Articles About Effective Communication

    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next