Advertising
Advertising

3 Ways To Be Memorable By Breaking People’s Patterns

3 Ways To Be Memorable By Breaking People’s Patterns

Gasp!

    Life is full of little situations that you encounter regularly.  Some people don’t see these for the opportunities that they are: a chance to stand out, be different, and be memorable.

    They’re a way to quickly built rapport with someone so they can think back later and say “Brian…hmm, yeah he was the guy who does [BLANK]” or “Barbara, oh yeah she is the gal who said [BLANK]”.  You stood out enough to be remembered.

    Advertising

    By breaking out of your comfort zone and doing something a little different than everyone else you can connect with new people on a regular basis.

    1. How’s it going?This is perhaps one of the most common questions you will here, and everyone gives the same answer.  Instead of saying “fine”, “ok, how about you”, or “keepin busy”, next time try giving some uncommon honesty.  Don’t parrot back your usual response.  Think of something positive, unique, and/or funny that you are doing, and give them a one line summary.  Keeping it positive is key.  You should be bringing smiles to people’s faces, not unloading your baggage or stress.

      To the receptionist: “Today has been crazy, I just closed that deal I’ve been workin on for the last month.  High five!”

      To the checker at the grocery store: “I’ll tell you what man, it’s gonna be going a lot better after I eat this sandwhich, I’m starving!”

      To the cab driver: “Stupendous!” 

    2. The HandshakeAnother common pattern we all go through is the handshake.  Why not do it a little differently?One of my favorites to do in a social setting (especially with someone you just met recently) is to go for the hug instead of the handshake.

      They will put out their hand.  Just stare it for a second as if you are confused and then open you arms wide and say “I think I’d like a hug instead” with a big smile.  People will crack up laughing and instantly you have a connection.

      When everyone is going around the circle doing a handshake and it finally comes to you, you can also give them “the rock” to stand out.  The rock is when you make a fist and bump it with the other person’s fist.  This is a pop culture thing common among younger folks but it can also be humorous and help you stand out. Now you two have an inside joke.

      If you are in a business setting, you can still do variations on the handshake to stand out.  Try coming in wide from the outside with a little bit of a sweeping motion.  Or bringing in your left hand too for a “double” (send the left hand up to his/her forearm for extra rapport).  These will also show confidence and charm if done correctly.

    3. What do you do?  Where are you from?These are the two most common questions in small talk.  Come up with good answers to them that help you stand out.The key to a good answer is that it provides little pieces of information that would be easy for them to ask a follow up question about.

      For example, if someone asks “What do you do?”, you could say:  “Well, I’m an accountant”.  Then there would be an awkward silence as the person tries to think of what to talk about next.

      Or….you can say something like “Well, when I finished up school I decided to try working for XYZ company, but I realized after about 30 seconds that I didn’t want to do that, so I got into ABC.  But honestly that’s just what I do for a job, what I really love doing is DEF and GHI so I do that pretty much every weekend.” 

      Now they have lots of places to take the conversation.  They could ask you about what school you graduated from, your hobbies, why you didn’t like XYZ, etc.  It’s uncommonly candid and gives them a better picture of your life.

      The same goes for the dreaded “Where are you from?”.  Give a miniature story in your answer with some interesting details they can follow up on.

    Are there any other ways you like to stand out in people’s minds, build an instant connection, and break patterns? Leave a comment below!

    Advertising

    More by this author

    How To Instantly Feel Better When You Are Depressed 8 Essential Skills They Didn’t Teach You In School How To Make A Bunch Of New Friends In Any New City Tired in the morning and awake at night? Here is a REAL solution. How to Launch a Business Without Spending a Dime

    Trending in Communication

    1 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 2 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 3 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 4 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life 5 14 Things That Make You Happy and Enjoy Life More

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Published on May 4, 2021

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

    In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

    How to Spot Fake People?

    When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

    Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

    1. Full of Themselves

    Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

    Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

    2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

    Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

    Advertising

    It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

    3. Zero Self-Reflection

    To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

    Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

    4. Unrealistic Perceptions

    Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

    A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

    5. Love Attention

    As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

    6. People Pleaser

    Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

    Advertising

    Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

    7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

    Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

    8. Crappy friend

    Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

    It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

    The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

    How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

    It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

    There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

    Advertising

    1. Boundaries

    Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

    2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

    Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

    3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

    If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

    4. Ask for Advice

    If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

    Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

    5. Dig Deeper

    Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

    Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

    Advertising

    6. Practice Self-Care!

    Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

    Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

    Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

    Final Thoughts

    Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

    More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

    Read Next