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3 Signs You Are in the Wrong Job and What to Do About It (without Quitting)

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3 Signs You Are in the Wrong Job and What to Do About It (without Quitting)


    What if you are in the wrong job and are too caught up in the rat race of every day life to even take notice?

    Maybe you believe that “all jobs everywhere” mean nothing more than a life of drudgery. Or maybe you ignore the signs that make you wonder why you do what you do. After all, you have responsibilities, you have commitments, and you need the income, so what if you cannot stand your job?

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    Well, you have convinced yourself to put up with it because quitting is not an option!

    While quitting may not be an option, you do have other options. There are many shades of grey and you can do things to make the current situation better. You can find out even the wrong job can become more tolerable and pleasant when you take some action!

    Let’s take a look at 3 signs you are in the wrong job and what you can do about it without quitting

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    1. You Actively Seek Distractions at Work

    If you constantly look for distractions at work and would rather spend your time that way than get any meaningful work done, you are in the wrong job. When your work is not important to you — especially when no one is watching you — you tend not to pay attention to it.

    Now what can you do about it without walking away? Focus on your current job responsibilities. Why are you not interested in them? You may not be challenged enough, you may not be learning anything new, or you may be ready for a new project and a change. Gather your thoughts, do some research on projects and programs in your team and find at least 3 new exciting areas where you can contribute. Then schedule a time with your boss to suggest how you can improve your productivity and contribution to the company by jumping on something new. Share your research and ask if she can readjust your current tasks.

    2. You Have Zero Interest in Engaging with Your Team

    Team dynamics are a huge factor and people do not always get along with other people. Maybe it is a personality conflict. Maybe it is the way they treat you. Maybe you have no idea why — but they rub you the wrong way. Whatever the situation may be, first have faith that you can change it. Then decide what kind of team conditions would create a nurturing workplace environment for you.

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    You can then put together a simple proposal plan and talk to your boss about engaging with better people or avoiding engagement with certain people that you consider negative to your productivity. Do it in such a way that you bring the problem to her attention while offering a solution at the same time. Your boss’s job is to keep the peace within the team while keeping everyone productive and happy. You are helping her cause, so take charge of the situation.

    3. You Are Doing it Just for the Money

    Oh, the money.

    Especially the kind of money I made in my 6-figure job that I did at home in my pajamas. Let’s face it: the money is nice and there is nothing wrong with loving the money. But if you only do it for the money, then you are in the wrong job.

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    To remedy this situation, just conduct this simple exercise: ask yourself what is it you would do for the rest of your life for free. Do this as a free-flow writing exercise, and don’t stop until you come up with the answer. That is your passion. That shows you work is more than just the money, and knowing what that passion is can help you build a path in that direction, even as you keep your current job.

    Over to you: Are you a victim of your job circumstances or are you willing to stand up and ask for a few changes to make your job better tomorrow? Let me know in the comments.

    (Photo credit: Girl in Office Crazy with Work via Shutterstock)

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      Last Updated on January 5, 2022

      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

      We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

      Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

      Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

      Expressing Anger

      Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

      Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

      Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

      Being Passive-Aggressive

      This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

      Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

      This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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      Poorly-Timed

      Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

      An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

      Ongoing Anger

      Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

      Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

      Healthy Ways to Express Anger

      What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

      Being Honest

      Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

      Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

      Being Direct

      Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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      Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

      Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

      Being Timely

      When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

      Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

      Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

      How to Deal With Anger

      If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

      1. Slow Down

      From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

      In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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      When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

      2. Focus on the “I”

      Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

      When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

      3. Work out

      When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

      Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

      Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

      4. Seek Help When Needed

      There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

      5. Practice Relaxation

      We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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      That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

      Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

      6. Laugh

      Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

      7. Be Grateful

      It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

      Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

      Final Thoughts

      Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

      During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

      Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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      More Resources on Anger Management

      Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

      Reference

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