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3 Lies You Were Told As A Child

3 Lies You Were Told As A Child

“My parents told me I’m special.”

“I got 30 Valentine’s Day cards this year, one from each of my classmates.”

“I have 30 more minutes to play outside before going home to finish my homework!”

Oh, the things we thought about as children. Looking back on these thoughts, they seem a bit ridiculous, don’t they?

They are a bit ridiculous — because they are lies.

As we grew up, everyone around us fed us beautiful and inspirational lines of uplifting protection. Our parents, our teachers, the movies we watched, the songs we listened to. They all had the very best intentions, but they all told us lies just the same.

This may seem a harsh judgement, but it’s something I’ve come to realize in my own life as I try to “succeed” in the “real world”, many light-years past that protected childhood. In the here and now, some of those well-intentioned lessons have come back to bite me in the backside. I know I’m not the only one.

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So, what are these lies you’ve been told?

Below, I’ll share a few of the lies we may have been told and how we can turn them around to work for us, instead of against us.

1. We all love you.

One thing’s for sure: our parents definitely love us, but that doesn’t mean everyone will.

Some clients, some colleagues, some random people on the street will dislike us for reasons unknown.

If we think that we’re supposed to be loved by everyone, how will we be able to handle it when we encounter someone who doesn’t?

When I first started my business, I thought working with people would be all sunny days and rainbows. Almost two years in, I know that’s just not the case. I wasn’t aware how difficult it would be to deal with the reality that some people didn’t have my best interests at heart.

It hurt, but it also presented incredible opportunity.

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Since then, I’ve learned to be more picky about who I work with, to pivot to work with people that I feel connected with and valued by.

Our parents may have been wrong — not everyone will love us — but we can choose to surround ourselves with people who do.

2. You can be anything you want to be.

This is the golden ticket of a hopeful future, which is the first wish for any parent out there.

As we grow up, we dream of being kindergarten teachers, firefighters, and more. Those dreams change, and we continually come up with new professions or projects we’d love to pursue.

What our parents told us leads us to believe that we can go after any of them and get the same result.

The truth is that we’re probably better at one type of project than another. Yes, we can learn and adapt and find success if we put in the time, but we also have a better shot at excelling at some things more than others.

Our parents weren’t telling us that we could be anything we want to be. They were telling us that we can succeed at anything we want.

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It may be true that, literally, you can try anything you want, but it’s not true that you will succeed at everything, right?

3. To be smart, all you need to do is study.

This is directly related to the lie above.

From the time we’re about four or five years old, we start an education process that lasts for another twenty years, depending on the career path.

Education is a critical part of our formation, but it’s not the only critical part.

Studying is important, but so is learning by doing.

Centuries ago, apprenticeships were the preferred method of learning a new craft. Under an experienced tutor, an apprentice will not only study the craft, but will also practice it.

Due to the education factory we’ve gone through since our childhood, we’re predisposed to take this “study first” approach to our projects. Is there a way to introduce the “learning by doing” approach, as well?

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Learning The Truth — Your Action Plan

Our parents have all the best intentions in the world, but there are some tweaks to the narrative they’ve taught us that could turn our lives around.

My advice? Forget the lies you’ve been told, and start building upon the truth to build your future.

I’d love to hear from you:

Are there ways to surpass the lies in our present?

How can we turn these into opportunities?

Have these lies helped us in some way?

I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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