Advertising
Advertising

29 Life Lessons You Should Learn by 30

29 Life Lessons You Should Learn by 30

Your thirties are just like your twenties except the recovery takes longer. When I was a kid, I thought there was some magic line you crossed and suddenly became an adult. Adults can easily look at the world around them and know maturity doesn’t come with age. Aging is something you can neither control nor stop; be prepared with these important life lessons.

1. You Only Die Once

    6 million ways to die…choose one…

    You only get one shot at life. What you do with your time in this world is your choice, but understand that you’re the only one who has to live with the consequences. You don’t get a second chance.

    2. You Can’t Turn Back Time

      Keanu Reeves’s’s’s best role…

      Reflecting on the past is ok, but keep in mind, it’s in the past. You can never go back and relive a moment, so focus on how to do things in the present for your future.

      3. Compassion Is Key

        Dark Knight feelin…

        Whether someone is a hero or villain depends on who you ask. People who are only nice to their friends are villains to everyone else. Everyone deserves compassion, not just your friends.

        4. Hangovers Suck

          An actual hangover is better than the movies…

          In your twenties, you can drink a keg of beer, sleep two hours, and make it to work in the morning. In your thirties, two beers get you turnt up, overnighters cause you to pass out in the middle of the day, and a daily detox is almost mandatory.

          5. Your Body Is Your Temple

            I feel pretty…oh so pretty…

            You may feel like your twenties are your physical peak, but it’s actually your thirties. It’s all downhill from here, so take care of your body. You’re stuck in it.

            6. It’s OK to Say No

            Advertising

              Howie’s on-air marriage proposal didn’t work out…

              It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks – if you don’t want to do something, go somewhere, or talk to someone, just say no.

              7. Relationships Take Compromise

                The NSA – where everybody knows your name…

                There is no perfect relationship. Behind every facade you see on the surface lies countless hours of discussion and compromise. If you don’t think of your partner, they’ll leave you for someone who does, whether to your face or behind your back.

                8. Everyone Snoops

                  Agent Double-O Giggity…

                  We can all stand on our soapboxes about the NSA spying on us, but they’re far from the only ones. Every company you shop at spies on you, and so do all of your friends and people you meet. Be mindful of what info you leave out for others to find.

                  9. Money Isn’t Important

                    Young Moneyyyyy…

                    Fresh out of college, it’s natural to seek out the job with the most money. The truth is the economy it’s more important to follow your passion than chase paper. You can’t buy time, and plenty of broke people are happy.

                    10. You’re in Control

                      Why you should let your gf win at video games…

                      Your choices are your own. Your mistakes don’t belong to your parents, a deity, your enemies, or anyone else. You are the creator of your own world.

                      11. Life Is Just Like High School

                        “This isn’t high school” is such a common phrase. It’s not like people graduate and suddenly mature. It doesn’t matter how old you get or where you work, there are cliques, gossip, and all the other annoyances of high school. Either play the game or hit the showers.

                        12. You’re Wrong Sometimes

                        Advertising

                          R.I.P. Community…you will be missed…

                          Everyone makes mistakes, and, no matter how good your grades were in school, you don’t know everything. Learn to admit when you’re wrong, especially if you’re a guy. Chicks dig humility.

                          13. Respect Is Earned

                            I iz actually spasticated…

                            When you finally move out on your own into the real world, you may feel like a monarch, but you’re no better than anyone else. There’s no inherent respect that comes with your degree, career, or position in life. If you don’t treat everyone with respect, you’ll lose theirs.

                            14. Rules Are Only Guidelines

                              It’s ok to have a crush on Emma Watson…she’s legal now…

                              Some rules are made to keep us safe, and some are just leftovers from times past. People break laws on a daily basis, even if it’s simple things like speeding or littering. Blindly following people can lead you to act against your own personal ethics – ask questions and make your own decisions.

                              15. Goals Are Vital

                                I believe I can fly…

                                If you have no direction in life, you’ll never get anywhere. Set short and long term goals and follow them. Otherwise you’ll end up stuck in an entry-level position for the rest of your life.

                                16. Hatred Wastes Energy

                                  What’s a goof to a goblin?

                                  People do terrible things, and everyone has an opinion about it. The older you get, the less those minor things matter to you. Focus your efforts on improving your life instead of ruining someone else’s.

                                  17. It’s Never Too Late

                                    Grumpy old men are worse than kids…

                                    You’re never too old. I was at a barbeque last weekend talking to some friends. Approaching thirty, Judge da Boss was worried about getting too old for his music career to blow up. Vik Junior reminded him most of today’s hottest MCs (Jay-Z, Snoop, Eminem, etc.) are in their forties. People found success later in their lives than you think.

                                    18. Tomorrow Isn’t Guaranteed

                                    Advertising

                                      I’ll procrastinate tomorrow…

                                      The younger you are, the more invincible you feel. As you get older, you realize there is no tomorrow and learn to appreciate the time you have.

                                      19. College Is Overrated

                                        Had Bill Gates went to college, Microsoft may not suck so much…

                                        Knowledge is important, but a degree isn’t. Plenty of people found success in life without one. It’s more important to open your mind, keep learning, and trust your instincts. You can always hire someone with a degree later.

                                        20. Pop Culture Fades

                                          Another future singing competition judge…

                                          In your teens, you know every song and artist on the radio. As you progress through your twenties, you know less and less about those young bucks. By the time you’re thirty, people are buzzing about people you’ve never heard of, and nobody remembers Color Me Badd.

                                          21. Gossip Wastes Time

                                            So I was like…and she was like…

                                            I’ve never been asked about anyone’s sex life in a job interview. There’s no need to discuss other peoples’ lives unless you’re Perez Hilton. If you are Perez Hilton, welcome to Lifehack – try not to draw all over the pictures like a 2-year-old.

                                            22. Your Parents Are Hypocrites

                                              Do as I say, not as I do…

                                              Sooner or later, you’ll reach the age your parents were when you were a kid. When you reach that age, you’ll look back and realize all the things they told you not to do are things they did. You were totally right back then. It’s a shame you can’t go back and redo it.

                                              23. You’re Just Like Your Parents

                                                This is a story all about how Smith’s life got flipped, turned upside down…

                                                Whether you believe in nature or nurture shaping who we are, you’re exactly like your parents. The older you get, the more you realize it, and it’ll drive you nuts.

                                                24. Overnight Success Doesn’t Exist

                                                Advertising

                                                  Yappy dogs are annoying…

                                                  Behind every overnight success you see is years of struggle nobody saw. It may look like other people have things handed to them or are illuminati, but they got on their grind and worked twice as hard as you. If you’re not where you want to be, work harder.

                                                  25. Life Isn’t Fair

                                                    It never is, princess…

                                                    Life isn’t fair for anyone, so it’s fair in that sense. A lot of really good people get shit on; that’s just the way it is. Good people are taken from us too early, and you’ll take heat for things you didn’t do.

                                                    26. It’s Not What You Know; It’s How You Apply It

                                                      A jack of all trades is a master of none…

                                                      Promotions may be automatic in school, but in the real world qualified people are constantly overlooked. The game exists, whether you like it or not, so you better play if you want to get ahead. You have to work twice as hard for half as much as those in power.

                                                      27. People Will Hate You

                                                        Try our new flavors…

                                                        The more you speak and the more you do, the more hatred you’ll attract. You can’t please all of the people all of the time, so focus on pleasing yourself…just not in a school zone.

                                                        28. You’re Not Entitled to Anything

                                                          Per Tyrion’s request, I present the goddess of tits and wine…

                                                          Nobody hands you anything in life. No matter who you are or what you accomplished in the past, success won’t be handed to you. If you want success, don’t wait for it to knock – hunt it down, stalk it, and bang on its door until it opens for you.

                                                          29. No One’s Keeping Score

                                                            Gymnastics: and other sports we only care about once every 4 years…

                                                            You can follow every rule, do everything right, and live a perfect life. No matter what you do, you’re still going to die just like everyone else, and you can’t take anything with you when you do. Step off your soapbox and stop judging other peoples’ decisions.

                                                            Featured photo credit: Geralt via pixabay.com

                                                            More by this author

                                                            7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone Say Goodbye to a Skinny Body: How to Gain Weight Fast 24 Easy Ways To Make Money On The Internet What 500 Calories Really Looks Like in Different Foods 20 Awesome Screensavers that Make your Desktop Delightful

                                                            Trending in Communication

                                                            1 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 2 Why You Feel Lonely In Your Marriage And How To Deal With It 3 6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of 4 How To Spark A Positive Mood When Feeling Dull 5 5 Reasons You Will Never Be a Fighter

                                                            Read Next

                                                            Advertising
                                                            Advertising
                                                            Advertising

                                                            Published on April 7, 2021

                                                            6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                                                            6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                                                            Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

                                                            While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

                                                            1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

                                                            Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

                                                            If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

                                                            In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

                                                            Advertising

                                                            2. They Make Everything Transactional

                                                            Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

                                                            For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

                                                            Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

                                                            A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

                                                            Some statements to be wary of include:

                                                            Advertising

                                                            • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
                                                            • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
                                                            • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
                                                            • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

                                                            3. They Criticize Everything

                                                            One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

                                                            However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

                                                            Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

                                                            • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
                                                            • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
                                                            • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
                                                            • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

                                                            4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

                                                            We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

                                                            For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

                                                            Advertising

                                                            This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

                                                            5. They Socially Isolate You

                                                            Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

                                                            Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

                                                            This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

                                                            In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

                                                            Advertising

                                                            6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

                                                            It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

                                                            Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

                                                            Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

                                                            • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
                                                            • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
                                                            • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
                                                            • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

                                                            Final Thoughts

                                                            It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

                                                            More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

                                                            Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

                                                            Read Next