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29 Life Lessons You Should Learn by 30

29 Life Lessons You Should Learn by 30

Your thirties are just like your twenties except the recovery takes longer. When I was a kid, I thought there was some magic line you crossed and suddenly became an adult. Adults can easily look at the world around them and know maturity doesn’t come with age. Aging is something you can neither control nor stop; be prepared with these important life lessons.

1. You Only Die Once

    6 million ways to die…choose one…

    You only get one shot at life. What you do with your time in this world is your choice, but understand that you’re the only one who has to live with the consequences. You don’t get a second chance.

    2. You Can’t Turn Back Time

      Keanu Reeves’s’s’s best role…

      Reflecting on the past is ok, but keep in mind, it’s in the past. You can never go back and relive a moment, so focus on how to do things in the present for your future.

      3. Compassion Is Key

        Dark Knight feelin…

        Whether someone is a hero or villain depends on who you ask. People who are only nice to their friends are villains to everyone else. Everyone deserves compassion, not just your friends.

        4. Hangovers Suck

          An actual hangover is better than the movies…

          In your twenties, you can drink a keg of beer, sleep two hours, and make it to work in the morning. In your thirties, two beers get you turnt up, overnighters cause you to pass out in the middle of the day, and a daily detox is almost mandatory.

          5. Your Body Is Your Temple

            I feel pretty…oh so pretty…

            You may feel like your twenties are your physical peak, but it’s actually your thirties. It’s all downhill from here, so take care of your body. You’re stuck in it.

            6. It’s OK to Say No

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              Howie’s on-air marriage proposal didn’t work out…

              It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks – if you don’t want to do something, go somewhere, or talk to someone, just say no.

              7. Relationships Take Compromise

                The NSA – where everybody knows your name…

                There is no perfect relationship. Behind every facade you see on the surface lies countless hours of discussion and compromise. If you don’t think of your partner, they’ll leave you for someone who does, whether to your face or behind your back.

                8. Everyone Snoops

                  Agent Double-O Giggity…

                  We can all stand on our soapboxes about the NSA spying on us, but they’re far from the only ones. Every company you shop at spies on you, and so do all of your friends and people you meet. Be mindful of what info you leave out for others to find.

                  9. Money Isn’t Important

                    Young Moneyyyyy…

                    Fresh out of college, it’s natural to seek out the job with the most money. The truth is the economy it’s more important to follow your passion than chase paper. You can’t buy time, and plenty of broke people are happy.

                    10. You’re in Control

                      Why you should let your gf win at video games…

                      Your choices are your own. Your mistakes don’t belong to your parents, a deity, your enemies, or anyone else. You are the creator of your own world.

                      11. Life Is Just Like High School

                        “This isn’t high school” is such a common phrase. It’s not like people graduate and suddenly mature. It doesn’t matter how old you get or where you work, there are cliques, gossip, and all the other annoyances of high school. Either play the game or hit the showers.

                        12. You’re Wrong Sometimes

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                          R.I.P. Community…you will be missed…

                          Everyone makes mistakes, and, no matter how good your grades were in school, you don’t know everything. Learn to admit when you’re wrong, especially if you’re a guy. Chicks dig humility.

                          13. Respect Is Earned

                            I iz actually spasticated…

                            When you finally move out on your own into the real world, you may feel like a monarch, but you’re no better than anyone else. There’s no inherent respect that comes with your degree, career, or position in life. If you don’t treat everyone with respect, you’ll lose theirs.

                            14. Rules Are Only Guidelines

                              It’s ok to have a crush on Emma Watson…she’s legal now…

                              Some rules are made to keep us safe, and some are just leftovers from times past. People break laws on a daily basis, even if it’s simple things like speeding or littering. Blindly following people can lead you to act against your own personal ethics – ask questions and make your own decisions.

                              15. Goals Are Vital

                                I believe I can fly…

                                If you have no direction in life, you’ll never get anywhere. Set short and long term goals and follow them. Otherwise you’ll end up stuck in an entry-level position for the rest of your life.

                                16. Hatred Wastes Energy

                                  What’s a goof to a goblin?

                                  People do terrible things, and everyone has an opinion about it. The older you get, the less those minor things matter to you. Focus your efforts on improving your life instead of ruining someone else’s.

                                  17. It’s Never Too Late

                                    Grumpy old men are worse than kids…

                                    You’re never too old. I was at a barbeque last weekend talking to some friends. Approaching thirty, Judge da Boss was worried about getting too old for his music career to blow up. Vik Junior reminded him most of today’s hottest MCs (Jay-Z, Snoop, Eminem, etc.) are in their forties. People found success later in their lives than you think.

                                    18. Tomorrow Isn’t Guaranteed

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                                      I’ll procrastinate tomorrow…

                                      The younger you are, the more invincible you feel. As you get older, you realize there is no tomorrow and learn to appreciate the time you have.

                                      19. College Is Overrated

                                        Had Bill Gates went to college, Microsoft may not suck so much…

                                        Knowledge is important, but a degree isn’t. Plenty of people found success in life without one. It’s more important to open your mind, keep learning, and trust your instincts. You can always hire someone with a degree later.

                                        20. Pop Culture Fades

                                          Another future singing competition judge…

                                          In your teens, you know every song and artist on the radio. As you progress through your twenties, you know less and less about those young bucks. By the time you’re thirty, people are buzzing about people you’ve never heard of, and nobody remembers Color Me Badd.

                                          21. Gossip Wastes Time

                                            So I was like…and she was like…

                                            I’ve never been asked about anyone’s sex life in a job interview. There’s no need to discuss other peoples’ lives unless you’re Perez Hilton. If you are Perez Hilton, welcome to Lifehack – try not to draw all over the pictures like a 2-year-old.

                                            22. Your Parents Are Hypocrites

                                              Do as I say, not as I do…

                                              Sooner or later, you’ll reach the age your parents were when you were a kid. When you reach that age, you’ll look back and realize all the things they told you not to do are things they did. You were totally right back then. It’s a shame you can’t go back and redo it.

                                              23. You’re Just Like Your Parents

                                                This is a story all about how Smith’s life got flipped, turned upside down…

                                                Whether you believe in nature or nurture shaping who we are, you’re exactly like your parents. The older you get, the more you realize it, and it’ll drive you nuts.

                                                24. Overnight Success Doesn’t Exist

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                                                  Yappy dogs are annoying…

                                                  Behind every overnight success you see is years of struggle nobody saw. It may look like other people have things handed to them or are illuminati, but they got on their grind and worked twice as hard as you. If you’re not where you want to be, work harder.

                                                  25. Life Isn’t Fair

                                                    It never is, princess…

                                                    Life isn’t fair for anyone, so it’s fair in that sense. A lot of really good people get shit on; that’s just the way it is. Good people are taken from us too early, and you’ll take heat for things you didn’t do.

                                                    26. It’s Not What You Know; It’s How You Apply It

                                                      A jack of all trades is a master of none…

                                                      Promotions may be automatic in school, but in the real world qualified people are constantly overlooked. The game exists, whether you like it or not, so you better play if you want to get ahead. You have to work twice as hard for half as much as those in power.

                                                      27. People Will Hate You

                                                        Try our new flavors…

                                                        The more you speak and the more you do, the more hatred you’ll attract. You can’t please all of the people all of the time, so focus on pleasing yourself…just not in a school zone.

                                                        28. You’re Not Entitled to Anything

                                                          Per Tyrion’s request, I present the goddess of tits and wine…

                                                          Nobody hands you anything in life. No matter who you are or what you accomplished in the past, success won’t be handed to you. If you want success, don’t wait for it to knock – hunt it down, stalk it, and bang on its door until it opens for you.

                                                          29. No One’s Keeping Score

                                                            Gymnastics: and other sports we only care about once every 4 years…

                                                            You can follow every rule, do everything right, and live a perfect life. No matter what you do, you’re still going to die just like everyone else, and you can’t take anything with you when you do. Step off your soapbox and stop judging other peoples’ decisions.

                                                            Featured photo credit: Geralt via pixabay.com

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                                                            Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                                                            How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                                                            How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                                                            For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                                                            If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                                                            Example 1

                                                            You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                                                            You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                                                            In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                                                            Example 2

                                                            You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                                                            People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                                                            You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                                                            Example 3

                                                            You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                                                            The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                                                            Example 4

                                                            You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                                                            Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                                                            If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                                                            Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                                                            • Understand your own communication style
                                                            • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                                                            • Communicate with precision and care
                                                            • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                                                            1. Understand Your Communication Style

                                                            To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                                                            In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                                                            Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                                                            2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                                                            Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                                                            If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                                                            “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                                                            This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                                                            To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                                                            3. Exercise Precision and Care

                                                            A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                                                            On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                                                            Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                                                            I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                                                            I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                                                            In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                                                            The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                                                            Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                                                            4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                                                            Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                                                            In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                                                            “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                                                            Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                                                            Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                                                            It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                                                            It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                                                            It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                                                            Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                                                            Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                                                            The Bottom Line

                                                            When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                                                            I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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                                                            Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                                                            Reference

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