There seems to be an A to Z of everything else, so why not relationships? Here we go…
A is for…Admire
Add this to your relationship to feel alive and be amorous and adoring, and let go of anger. Admire each other and yourselves. A little affection goes a long way.
B is for…Behaviors
Both of you need to know what your beliefs about relationships are, about conflict and arguments, about money, honesty, lifestyle, habits—all the things you need to understand about yourself that might be driving your behavior at a deep level. Also, work out who you are and who the other person is. What made them who they are?
C is for…Communication
Have a chat about your communication style. Is it clear? Honest? Do you listen before you speak, or speak more than you listen? What are your feelings about commitment? Do you have confidence in yourself and the other person? How do you handle control? Is it an issue in your relationships? Be there for each other in difficult times, and learn how to communicate together in a way that works for you both.
D is for…Doubts
Every relationship will go through doubts at some point, but you need to learn to be able to discuss them and hopefully work through them. Don’t act instantly on a little doubt when it could be easily resolved.
E is for…Enthusiasm
Look deeply into your relationship: how much energy and excitement do you have? These are important parts of a relationship. How exciting are you and how much excitement do you put into your relationship? How much effort do you make to keep your partner interested in you? Keep your relationship alive and this will help you both feel enthusiastic.
F is for…Friendship
Friendship keeps relationships lasting longer than lust does. Learn everything about each other, ask lots of questions, and spend time together. Talk about one other’s hopes and fears and deal with them. And have as much fun as possible, as often as you can!
Friendship can often fly out the window when financial pressures, children, and mortgages take hold of your life, but focus on the positive, fun aspects of your relationship rather than dwelling on the negative.
G is for…Genorisity
Never define yourself by what you own, your money, your status, your income, or your looks—it’s generosity and kindness that give back. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and be generous with yourself. Be generous with your spirit and your heart, not just your money. Grow together.
H is for…Happiness
Remember to be happy! Be honest not only with yourself but with others around you. Give your partner a hug every day; this will help boost your immune system—and theirs. Seeking joy together will help you to feel happier not just in your relationship, but within yourself.
I is for…Intimacy
Intimacy is an integral part of a lifelong relationship. Not just physical intimacy, but also emotional intimacy. Make your relationship a safe place for you and the other person to share your innermost secrets with each other. Keep a part of you just for the other person, so they feel special. Keep it interesting,
J is for…Joyful
Try and go through your day being joyful about life, even if it’s not as perfect as you would wish it would be. Remember you’re still alive and the sun shines! Do activities together, play sports together, ride bikes together, learn a new hobby together—just make sure you’re doing them together!
K is for…Kindness
Being kind to each other is so important, and remember to be kind to yourself! We usually travel through our days being kind to complete strangers and work colleagues but when we arrive home we turn into monsters! Because now we can “relax” and in the process we forget basic kindness.
L is for…Listening
Listen to each other, and really listen! Don’t just wait for a quiet moment to say what you want to say. Ask yourself “What does this person really want from me?” Laugh lots! Lighten up and don’t take yourselves too seriously—life’s too short!
M is for…Memories
Moments and memories pass us by each day and we end up forgetting so many of them. Keep a book where you write all the special moments you have spent together. When times get tough, you can open it up and relive those moments; the happiness will make you feel better. And remember: make memories together! Create new experiences and live out your fantasies together.
N is for…Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication is much more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Words account for 7% of the message being delivered to another. Think very carefully before you speak, because remember, the other person is reading into it. You think you are hiding the fact you think they are an idiot or at fault—but you’re not, they can tell!
O is for…Optimism
Be optimistic. This makes you a happier person and makes you more fun to be around, boosts the immune system, reduces stress, and generally makes life better. Openness in your communication reduces misunderstandings and conflict. Have other interests outside your normal day-to-day routine.
P is for…Politeness
Politeness can be forgotten about easily once we are in a relationship. We are polite and lovely to strangers and colleagues and then we come home and become horrible. Work together, don’t be too mature all the time—be silly and play games. Work out where your priorities lie—work or home? Prioritize your hobbies and work. Patience will help your relationship travel a long way.
Q is for…Quantity Time
Don’t just have quality time—have quantity time. Every relationship needs time for just hanging around together. During these times is when the special, unexpected moments occur.
R is for…Respect
Respect and successful relationships go hand in hand. You have to respect yourself first and then respect your partner. Find certain qualities in each other that you respect, and then remember then when tough times occur. Make an effort to be romantic; it doesn’t just happen automatically. Plan for romantic weekends a couple of times a year.
S is for…Stress
Stress is one of the major disruptions in relationships, more than we realize. Ask yourself: how do you handle stress? Are you allowing it to build up and kill you and your relationship? Do things to help you relax, daily and weekly. Support each other and stand up for one another in public and in private. Not many people realize how important this little act is for your bond.
T is for…Thoughtful
Remember to always be thoughtful, do little things for each other, and let the other person know you are thinking about them. Send a quick text to say “I love you”, take out the rubbish without being asked, help them when they are in a predicament. Be true to yourself.
U is for…Unconditional
Accept each other unconditionally—this is a big life lesson. It is very hard to really love and accept each other unconditionally.
V is for…Value
Remember to value each other, and recognize the great things about each other. Be vulnerable with each other—this allows for real intimacy.
W is for…Wise
Wisdom is something the Dalai Lama suggested we all pursue. While there are things we need to do for others—our partners, parents , children, friends—there are also things we need to do for ourselves.
X is for…X-Rated
Bathe yourself in an excess of loving, both sexual and non-sexual. Sex is a very important part of relationships and can keep it exciting as you feel intimate together.
Y is for…You
This is an important one—remember to take some “me time” every now and then. You can’t always be rushing around doing things for your partner. Relax with a book or have a bath—just make sure you do something for YOU.
Z is for…Zing, Zing, Zing
Zing, zing, zing! We all need more of this in our lives and relationships. The zest, the life, the excitement, and all the other points this article has covered.
Featured photo credit: Takmeomeo via pixabay.com