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20 Things To Look For In The Person You’ll Fall In Love With

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20 Things To Look For In The Person You’ll Fall In Love With

“Relationship” is an appropriate word for those who might be falling in love. You have to be able “relate” to that person, or the possibility of falling in love quickly diminishes. The variety in people’s attitudes, preferences, lifestyles, or even physical attributes may expose the negatives in creating that relationship, but it also helps you choose the best partner.

Here are 20 traits to look for when trying to decide if someone is worthy of your love. Remember, these are all positive things YOU can do too!

1. Fall in love with someone you can openly share your thoughts with.

There is no greater joy in a relationship then when someone allows you to “vent” your frustrations, reveal your sadness, share your happiness, or even sit quietly when there are no words to say.

2. Fall in love with someone who will listen with more than just their ears.

There’s a difference between hearing someone and really listening. If they can’t remember what you said just moments ago, they aren’t actively listening; they’re just hearing what you say and not giving it any thought.

3. Fall in love with someone who will communicate with their eyes.

A person who is truly interested will give you visual cues, like making direct unbroken eye-to-eye contact.

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4. Fall in love with someone who gives you affection.

The human touch at appropriate times feels healing to someone in distress. A hug is a great example.

5. Fall in love with someone who uplifts you with their words.

Affirmation, or just the willingness to spend time listening to you and giving you time to figure things out, means they are willing to go a little further for your happiness. Words like “tell me more” and “I’m listening” are uplifting.

6. Fall in love with someone who sees you as perfect for them.

There are NO perfect humans. We all have our flaws. The person you fall in love with may know this fact, but realizes they are also flawed and accepts you as you.

7. Fall in love with someone who will not allow you to degrade yourself.

We are all imperfect physically. Enjoy the variety in people and build them up so they have a positive view of themselves physically.

8. Fall in love with someone who will compliment your body.

If the person you are with is listening to you, they will hear you brag about some aspects of your body. When they affirm that compliment, they are in agreement with your view. That’s a great way to build your self esteem. Do the same for them too!

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9. Fall in love with someone who helps you refocus your negative thoughts.

Life has its ups and downs. Sometimes the downs really bring us down and we need someone to help us put life in proper perspective.

10. Fall in love with someone who will look for alternatives to stressful situations.

No one can catch every trigger that sends us into the dark side of our emotions, but a proactive person can see a few of those and help us avoid those situations. If a social scene you like to attend has a person that gets you angry, for example, your partner should help you avoid them so everyone has a good time!

11. Fall in love with someone who admits their wrongdoings.

Honesty is essential in any relationship. We all hope that the person we fall in love with will always be truthful with us. The consequences of a person’s wrongdoing may not be the easiest thing for them to accept. But as humans we all make mistakes.

12. Fall in love with someone who realizes how a wrongdoing affects your relationship.

This person will actively look for ways to get your forgiveness so the mending can begin. Someone who has no interest in your feelings won’t take this step.

13. Fall in love with someone who is honest and openly communicates.

There’s always a reason why someone gets angry or hurt. It doesn’t just “happen”. Someone willing to take the time to explain the “why” AND not use it as an excuse is serious about their relationship with you. Even if it will take time to mend it.

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14. Fall in love with someone that shows they are serious about preserving the relationship.

If there are certain situations that caused issues in your relationship, this person will choose NOT to get into those situations again. It may mean avoiding people who wrongly influence them.

15. Fall in love with someone who appreciates the little things you do.

No one wants to be taken for granted. If you are the type of person who loves to do the little things for people, then you are most likely a person who also wants to be affirmed for doing those things every once in a while.

16. Fall in love with someone who says “thank you”.

Ever listened to an unappreciated coworker? The words “thank you” are always a welcome sound to those who give an effort to make something positive in other’s lives.

17. Fall in love with someone who values your success.

She should be genuinely thrilled when you score that raise, run 5 miles or finally train your dog to high-five.

18. Fall in love with someone who will brag to their family and friends about you.

If he boasts to people close to him about how awesome you are, he’s probably a keeper.

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19. Fall in love with someone who will imitate your positive actions.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Give them an example of how to live and they will copy your efforts!

20. Fall in love with someone you are confident being with.

No one should be ashamed of who they are in this world. The person you fall in love with should raise your head high, support your efforts, and help you become the best person you can be!

Featured photo credit: 9images.blogspot.org via ts4.mm.bing.net

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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