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16 Things You Might Have Misunderstood About Introverts

16 Things You Might Have Misunderstood About Introverts

Introverts are a misunderstood bunch. Compared to extroverts, they think differently, act differently, and even look differently when they interact with people. But there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be “introverted.” Here are 16 of them:

Misconception #1: Introverts are shy.

Being “shy” and “introverted” are two completely different things. Introverts are not necessarily shy or afraid of people. They don’t just don’t prefer talking for the sake of talking.

Misconception #2: Introverts are unemotional.

Introverts may not show emotion with their facial expressions and gestures, but this doesn’t mean they’re not interested in what you’re saying. Introverts prefer to control their emotions around others and internalize them. Although someone who’s introverted may not appear engaged, this is usually not the case.

Misconception #3: Introverts don’t like working in groups.

Introverts often do their best work alone, so co-workers may misunderstand them and think they don’t want to partake in group work. While introverts do have a tendency to shut down in larger groups of people when they feel like their voice isn’t being heard, introverts excel in small group situations and enjoy working in these types of environments, as long as their opinion is valued.

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Misconception #4: Introverts don’t like talking.

It’s not that introverts don’t like to talk, it’s that they prefer to listen before they talk. Introverts choose their words carefully and they think small talk is a waste of time. But, they’re more than willing to engage you in a deep conversation about topics they’re passionate about.

Misconception #5: Introverts are scared to look you in the eye.

In general, introverts may not make eye contact with you as much as extroverts. This is because they don’t feel the need to partake in social norms and rituals as much as extroverts, not because they’re “scared.”

Misconception #6: All introverts are poor public speakers.

Some introverts may not like speaking in large group settings; however, many introverts are naturally gifted speakers. And, introverts generally spend more time preparing for speeches and presentations rather than “flying by the seat of their pants.”

Misconception #7: Introverts just want to be left alone.

While it’s true that introverts prefer to “re-charge” with some quiet time reading or reflecting, they also crave human interaction and enjoy the company of others.

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Misconception #8: Introverts over-analyze everything.

Introverts like to analyze situations and consider all possible scenarios before making decisions. Sometimes this can lead to “analysis paralysis,” but in general, it’s a positive trait that allows them to make tough decisions with a rational stream of thought.

Misconception #9: Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

False. Introverts may not be comfortable in crowded spaces, but they love experiencing new places, people, and things.

Misconception #10: Introverts are high strung.

The opposite is actually true. Introverts tend to be much more even-keeled and level than extroverts. They are able to objectively view all scenarios, even during times of stress.

Misconception #11: Introverts are underachievers.

Because we have such an affinity for the charismatic, personable, extroverted leader, some people assume that introverts are underachievers compared to extroverts. However, there are millions of successful introverted scientists, artists, physicians, writers, and philosophers. Achievement is not necessarily related to personality type.

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Misconception #12: Introverts can “break out of their shell” and become extroverts.

Introversion is an inborn personality type that you can’t change. Many people falsely believe that introverts can (or want to) “unlearn” their quiet, passive tendencies.

Misconception #13: Introverts are rude.

Introverts get a bad rap because they don’t show emotion like extroverts do. This causes people to misunderstand them and mistake their stone-face demeanor for rudeness, which isn’t the case.

Misconception #14: Introverts are no fun.

Introverts are all about having a good time–they just prefer environments that are quieter and more low-key. They don’t mind going to parties, but they prefer to spend time socializing in their inner circle of friends.

Misconception #15: Introverts don’t make good leaders.

Introverts can be quiet but confident leaders. They are particularly effective at managing extroverts because they’re good listeners and don’t compete with them.

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Misconception #16: Extroverts are happier than introverts.

Happiness has nothing to do with one’s personality type. There are happy and unhappy extroverts just like introverts. Personality type does not pre-dispose you to be unhappy.

Have you ever been misunderstood because of your personality type? If so, I’d love to hear from you below!

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Last Updated on August 21, 2018

How To Ask A Girl Out And Get A Yes (Almost) Every Time

How To Ask A Girl Out And Get A Yes (Almost) Every Time

I used to be so shy that speaking to girls made me break out in a sweat. It was so bad that if I as much as opened my mouth to say, “Hi,” my vocal pitch went up several octaves.

As you can imagine, this didn’t exactly help me woo the ladies (unless by “woo” you mean make them want to giggle, run away, and/or hide).

My troubles were a symptom of a common problem shared by many guys like you: I wasn’t confident in myself. Know the feeling? Let’s give your confidence (and dating life) a helpful shove in the right direction. This is how to ask a girl out and get a yes (almost) every time.

Ground Rules

Your Posture Should Scream Confidence

Most men guarantee a rejection before they even open their mouth because their appearance does not express confidence. Here are some simple cues to help you remember the do’s and don’ts of posture.

Do not:

  • Stare at the ground
  • Cross your legs/arms
  • Slump your shoulders
  • Fidget

Do:

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  • Keep your chin up
  • Gaze forward
  • Shoulders down and back
  • Chest high

When in doubt, think about how much space you are taking up. Is it a lot, or a little? If you’re not taking up much space, it’s possible you are curled up in a sad little ball (which just doesn’t make you look confident).

Take up as much space with your body as you can to reflect that you are comfortable in your body (and this hopefully goes without saying, but keep it within reason — don’t go lying down on the ground in the middle of the bar or anything crazy!)

The Clothes Make the Man

No, you don’t have to be donned in a freshly tailored suit when you ask a girl out. But that doesn’t mean you should look like a slob either. Dress in whatever style fits your personality, but keep it classy. No wrinkled tees, dirty shoes, or other fashion disasters allowed. Don’t sweat the specifics, but whatever you do, dress like the handsome and polished fella you are.

Gauging Interest

Engage Eye Contact

If a coffeehouse cutie catches your eye, shoot a few harmless glances in her direction. Linger for a brief moment before turning your attention elsewhere, but don’t voyage beyond the five second mark unless you want to be labeled a creeper.

If she returns your gaze with a smile, this is a good sign that the feeling might be mutual.

Do Not Confuse Kindness with Attraction

Just because a woman smiles at or talks to you, does not mean she wants to take your friendship to the next level, so don’t get your hopes up without good reason.

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Not sure if a friend likes you or not? Ask her out and if she says, “What, like a date?” reply, “Yes!” without hesitation. Confidence is sexy (and even if she says, “No,” at least you’ll know for sure).

The Approach

Keep It Simple

Don’t try to be funny and forget about impressing her. Women are attracted to men who are confident in their own skin, so bending over backwards in an attempt to “wow” a woman will probably just make her think you are trying too hard.

Take a few deep breaths, think to yourself, “No big deal,” confidently walk up to her, and say, “Hi.” For bonus points, find something about her to compliment (maybe she has a neat tattoo, an expressive smile, or a witty t-shirt?).

Does Popping the Question Sound Terrifying?

If you’re worried about appearing nervous, let’s make your approach as quick-and-painless as possible.

March up to her and say something like, “Hello! I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say you caught my eye. I’m running late for a meeting/work/class/(you get the idea), but I’d love to get your phone number if that’s okay?”

The Big Night

Don’t Take a Sporty Woman to the Opera

Did she say yes? Sweet! Let’s get ready for your date, you fine hunk of man, you.

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Do some homework before the Big Night arrives. Ask her about things like favorite movies, sports, musical genres, and hobbies.

This way, you can disguise your detective work as small-talk and surprise her with a perfect night out that fits her interests.

Are You Listening, Ogling, or Waiting for Your Turn to Speak?

Keep your eyes on her eyes when she speaks. If you show her what a classy, interesting guy you are, you’ll have more opportunities to check those out later.

And REALLY listen to her! Listen actively, smiling and nodding in the appropriate places, and be ready with follow-up questions that show her how thoughtful you are. First impressions are huge, so don’t blow it!

Keep It in Your Pants

If you’re both ready to hop in bed together after the first night, I’m not gonna stop you. Different women have different comfort zones when it comes to sex, so I can’t give you a sweeping suggestion for when sex should become a serious consideration.

That said, don’t push the issue if she isn’t ready. If you really like this girl, don’t blow it in a moment of overwhelming libido. I know it’s hard to be patient but remember: everything is better when you have to wait for it (plus it will be a lot more fun when she is ready … promise!)

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Post-Date

No Mind Games Allowed

There is no “best time” to text or call after a date, so stop over-analyzing it.

If she likes you, she will be more than happy to hear from you, no matter when that might be (Note: if the first date was a Grand Slam, you’d be wise to say, “Hi,” the following day and schedule a follow-up date ASAP because momentum is your friend).

The only rule? Don’t be clingy. Confidence is hot, so keep calm and cool.

Fellas: I hope you feel more confident in the question, “How to ask a girl out?”

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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