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15 Easily Forgotten Life Lessons

15 Easily Forgotten Life Lessons

There are a collection of life lessons that guide us toward happiness and fullness. But the busier we get, the more we forget those lessons. Remembering these life lessons can help us engage in behavior that will bring forth positive feelings and improve our relationships with other people, so always keep them in mind. Let us remind you:

1. Small gestures can mean the most

Sometimes going out of the your way at the store, giving a small gift, or sharing a smile while walking by can make another person’s day. Spread positivity with small gestures and watch the world be positive in return.

2. Our self-worth determines how we perceive other’s actions

If you think negatively about yourself, you’re going to assume people are always being negative towards you. Having a self-worth that reflects well on yourself will stop that perception and help you view others’ actions as positive towards yourself.

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3. Separating yourself from the situation makes the solution easier to see

When you’re head first in a situation and feeling backed up against a wall, finding a solution can be impossible. Moving yourself into a neutral corner of the arena can help you find a compromise that will make both parties happy in much better timing.

4. Don’t take anything for granted

When things are going good, and staying good, we forget that not everything is permanent. Never take anything for granted and appreciate what you have because it could be gone tomorrow.

5. Not everyone is going to like you

You could be the most likable person on the planet, but that doesn’t change that there is going to be someone who doesn’t like you. Once you accept that, it’s easy to move forward with life.

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6. We accept the love we think we deserve

If you believe no one should love you, you won’t notice the love that comes towards you. If you believe you are worthy of lots of love, you will notice and accept that love that comes towards you.

7. Everything happens for a reason

Sometimes it can seem that the whole world is against you, but everything happens for a reason. There is a plan for each of us, and sometimes that plan has a few bumps.

8. Approach life with a smile

If you smile at the world, the world will smile back at you.

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9. Mean people aren’t mean, they’re hurt

No one is born naturally mean. Those that act rudely towards others are trying to cope with their own hurt, so be kind to those who treat you horribly. They need it.

10. A step back is healthy in a relationship

When you’re in the early stages of a relationship (romantic or not) it’s all too easy to jump in and lose yourself. Take some time to clear your head and reflect on where the relationship is going. It will help your relationship in the long run.

11. Every success deserves celebration

It doesn’t matter whether you won the Nobel Peace Prize or just finished filing your taxes, take the time to celebrate all your successes.

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12. Take negative people out of your life

In order to live a fulfilling life that makes you feel good you have to weed out the bad. Remove the people who bring you down and see how it improves your daily life.

13. Always do the thing that gives you the most out of life

If the option is to stay inside and watch Netflix or to go to a gallery opening, choose the option you believe will help you grow emotionally and in your knowledge. Always choose the option that gives you the most.

14. Be well rounded, but focus on what you love

It’s important to know a little bit of everything in order to be a well-rounded person. However, choose things that mean the most to you and focus on them (sailing, criminal law, etc.) — it’s important to have true interests, not just general knowledge.

15. Remind people how much they mean to you

Promote good relations with those in your life by reminding them how much they mean to you. Send them a note or even an email. Keeping those relations is important in having a well-rounded life.

Featured photo credit: morgueFile via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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